The Saints Of Mibba
Dreams, Wishes and Fears.
I’m a strange sort of optimist. Right this moment I’m worried that this story isn’t going to be interesting, because the present always bothers me. But I still count myself as an optimist because I believe that the far-away future is going to be perfect. I hold on to dreams and wishes like a character in a Disney movie.
This can be a good or bad thing. I can’t “live everyday as if it were my last day on earth” because my entire life revolves around future hopes. I write stories in the hope that one day I’ll be a proper published writer. I pay attention in school because I know what I hear might be important when I’m older. Music is different, of course. I listen to music because I’m happy or annoyed or just trying to fill silence. Music is part of the present. I’m not going to write any more about music, though, because I talk too much about music.
My current fears fit in pretty well with my dreams. The only difference between them really is that my fears have changed as I got older, from a fear of worms to a fear of embarrassing myself in front of people and finally to a fear of myself changing as I grow up. The last one, my current fear, is most like my dreams because whenever I see myself in the future I always have the same taste in music, and the same opinions on the world.
My fear is that that won’t happen- that I’ll grow out of My Chemical Romance and wearing black and become the kind of adult who hates teenagers simply for being teenagers. The thing that I’m most afraid of is looking back and saying “Oh, I’m glad I grew out of that phase” or “I was so stupid when I was thirteen”.
I think Mibba can be linked (if not directly) to my newest idea of how I’m going to actually have one of my dreams come true. Writing stories is one of my favourite things ever, though that may not be obvious seeing as I leave most stories I write unfinished. That was where Mibba comes in- the only story I’ve ever finished completely was the one I post on Mibba. Knowing that somebody had read it and would be willing to read another chapter was the incentive to write more of the story.
The way that that fits in with my talking about dreams is that it’s my biggest dream right now. I want to try to get the story I wrote published (though my mom is the only one encouraging me, and she’s never read it) one day, and that makes it the base for a lot of future plans. The way that it fits in with my fears is that even if I’ve changed in the future I’ll have something to remind me of being a teenager. After writing that down I don’t think it even makes sense, but this is writing down thoughts and a lot of my thoughts don’t make any sense.
A lot of the time these dreams seem like the most important thing to me. Sometimes I get this strange feeling that my life at the moment is the beginning of something important and that I should be doing something. I don’t know what that something is, but I feel strangely inspired. It might only be because it was the song I was listening to when I last felt like that, but the song “Waiting” by Green Day is the best description I can find for that feeling. “I’m destined for anything at all.” When I hear that I can’t help but think of the future. It’s a strange sort of hope.
This can be a good or bad thing. I can’t “live everyday as if it were my last day on earth” because my entire life revolves around future hopes. I write stories in the hope that one day I’ll be a proper published writer. I pay attention in school because I know what I hear might be important when I’m older. Music is different, of course. I listen to music because I’m happy or annoyed or just trying to fill silence. Music is part of the present. I’m not going to write any more about music, though, because I talk too much about music.
My current fears fit in pretty well with my dreams. The only difference between them really is that my fears have changed as I got older, from a fear of worms to a fear of embarrassing myself in front of people and finally to a fear of myself changing as I grow up. The last one, my current fear, is most like my dreams because whenever I see myself in the future I always have the same taste in music, and the same opinions on the world.
My fear is that that won’t happen- that I’ll grow out of My Chemical Romance and wearing black and become the kind of adult who hates teenagers simply for being teenagers. The thing that I’m most afraid of is looking back and saying “Oh, I’m glad I grew out of that phase” or “I was so stupid when I was thirteen”.
I think Mibba can be linked (if not directly) to my newest idea of how I’m going to actually have one of my dreams come true. Writing stories is one of my favourite things ever, though that may not be obvious seeing as I leave most stories I write unfinished. That was where Mibba comes in- the only story I’ve ever finished completely was the one I post on Mibba. Knowing that somebody had read it and would be willing to read another chapter was the incentive to write more of the story.
The way that that fits in with my talking about dreams is that it’s my biggest dream right now. I want to try to get the story I wrote published (though my mom is the only one encouraging me, and she’s never read it) one day, and that makes it the base for a lot of future plans. The way that it fits in with my fears is that even if I’ve changed in the future I’ll have something to remind me of being a teenager. After writing that down I don’t think it even makes sense, but this is writing down thoughts and a lot of my thoughts don’t make any sense.
A lot of the time these dreams seem like the most important thing to me. Sometimes I get this strange feeling that my life at the moment is the beginning of something important and that I should be doing something. I don’t know what that something is, but I feel strangely inspired. It might only be because it was the song I was listening to when I last felt like that, but the song “Waiting” by Green Day is the best description I can find for that feeling. “I’m destined for anything at all.” When I hear that I can’t help but think of the future. It’s a strange sort of hope.
♠ ♠ ♠
by AngelFromMyNightmare.