The Randomness That Are Girls

Hayden coughed.
We turned to stare at him.
Comfort and I sat uncomfortably on a couch, while Logan and Hayden sat on one opposite from us. Nobody was saying anything, or moving at all. I somehow was restraining an urge to attack Logan.
Er...Awkward moment much?
Comfort sensed me thinking about it. She stared at me urgently in a look that meant, "Don't do it! We've only got... three hours left!" I rolled my eyes. What an improvement. Three hours.
My butt seriously hurts.
Like really seriously.
Ummm....
It happens to have happened that Logan's and mine are best friends.
Alright, I'm lying. It hasn't just happened. When my parents moved here from wherever they once were (I've never asked) the first people they met were Logan's parents. Naturally, they all became best friends. And their darling daughter and the little boy next door became best friends, too.
Now, this little girl and boy were perfect for each other. Everybody said that. They got a little bigger. People would always say, "Are you two dating? You're adorable!"
And they would blush and say, "No!" Whenever they said that, the girl would pretend to barf.
She would say, "Isn't that so gross!"
And he would agree. But there was always something in his voice that she never understood.
They were inseparable. The best friends one could ever want. They stuck together through thick and thin.
Until one day, he didn't.
He left her, broken hearted, to fall to the ground.
That girl was me.

Comfort looked at me. She whispered, "Are you crying?"
I wiped away a tear. "No!"
I must have said that too loud.
Hayden looked at me curiously. "What?"
I shook my head. "Ah...nothing."
Now, if you're wondering why we're stuck on a couch while our mothers are somewhere in the house doing something (you're right, I have absolutely no idea what they are doing half the time), I will tell you, although you might not believe me.
Once, when we were a bit younger, Logan and I once tried to escape. When we were...eleven? So we climbed out the window. Big mistake. Logan fell out the window. And broke his face. Idiot boy. He landed on his face in the middle of our lawn. In addition to a killer black eye, he broke his arm. Now we are locked in an attic of a three story house. To say they don't trust us anymore is an understatement.
Hayden, lucky boy, gets to join us. I convinced Comfort to take me out of my misery. Slightly.
Right now, I am wondering what Logan is thinking. I hope he knows how much it hurt. Do you know how I felt when you turned your back on me? Do you know how it feels? My mind, swirling with thoughts, composed a poem. Perhaps one day, I would tell him it.
One day.
I stood up. "We're breaking out of here."
I turned to them. "Stand back."
They did as I said, Comfort looking extremely alarmed. I pulled a knife out of my pocket (Logan looking even more alarmed, considering how I am always beating him up) and stabbed the window. A long crack ran through it. I raised my leg and kicked the window. The glass shattered, shards of glass flying past me.
I turned back. I smiled. "Wish me luck."
Logan's eyes widened as he saw what I was going to do. "N--"
My heart turned heavy. He didn't know me anymore.
I jumped.
Now, I know what you're thinking. I am a poor depressed kid who wants to kill herself. Nah. I landed in a quick roll and then caught a falling Logan.
Idiot.
I dumped him in the rosebush and called to Comfort and Hayden who were peering out the window in awe.
"You can jump!"
"Um...no."
"But you can!"
"Look what happened to him! I don't feel like bloody humiliating myself today!"
"Haven't I trained you for anything, Hayden? Wussy alert!"
"Fine!"
He jumped, landing on his hands and knees. He stood up wincing.
"Your turn Comfort!" I yelled.
She quickly shook her head.
"You can do it! Hayden will catch you!"
She blushed red. "No!
"I'm going to tell the girls that you're big a wussy as Logan!"
Logan grunted from the rosebush.
She reluctantly pushed herself from the windowsill.
"Aiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!"
I sighed. "Hayden, catch 'er."
He did, cradling her in his arms.
He looked over at me, unsure what to do. "She's not movin'."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll take it from here." I slapped her across the face.
Her eyes snapped open. "I knew people didn't slap you in heaven." She sighed.
Hayden deposited her on the ground with a slight smile.
"So!" I clapped my hands. "Hayden, get Logan out of the rosebush."
He looked at me oddly. "Why do I do everything you tell me to?"
"Because I'm your cousin. Do it."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Fine. Do you really want to hear the answer?"
'Yes."
"Because I can kick your fat ass."
He shrugged. "Good enough." He dragged Logan out of the bush.
Crazy happened to walk past us. "Uh...I am not going to ask what is going on."
"Ya just did. So basically we were locked in an attic by a bunch of psychomaniac moms, we jumped out a window, and I threw Logan in a bush."
"Uh..."

On me bullying everybody, we went to the mall.
"I waaaannnntttt popcornnnn!"
"I waaaannnnntttt candyyyyyy!"
"Popcooorrrrrrrrrnn!"
"Candddddddyyyyy!"
"SHUT UP ALREADY!"
Crazy and Logan were in the midst of a heated argument (yes, for them this is a heated argument) about whether to get popcorn or candy.
They turned to glare at me.
"What she meant is that we'll get both!" Comfort said quickly.
"Who's paying for this?"
We turned to look at Hayden. He put his hands up. "What?"
"You're paying."
He shook his head sadly. "Why does this girl ask a question, and without letting anyone answer, makes the decision?"
Logan snorted, "It's like she asks, "Should we beat him up or her?" and then says, "Him." and does it before anyone can do anything."
I bought candy for Crazy while they were talking.
Hayden rolled his eyes. "See what I mean?"
"You're buying ya' own popcorn."
"Thank you for your generosity." Logan said sarcastically.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the Victoria's Secret store.
"Hey, you got some extra large bras here? Like the biggest size you got?"
A saleslady looked at me dubiously. "I think you would be better suit--"
Logan gasped. "Her? No no no! They're for me. Who else?"
"Uh--" The saleslady slowly backed away.
"WHAT!! Somebody get me a bra!" he screamed!
"Nobody's helping me! What is wrong with you people?! Just because I have epic moobs doesn't mean you have to be racist! Security! These ugly ladies are being man boob racists!"
I grabbed a bra from a rack and shoved it over his head.
"Ahhh! I can't see!" He screamed, the cup covering his eyes. "The racists have mugged me! SECURITEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

Security came, carrying Logan above their heads, kicking and screaming about his boobs.
Crazy, Comfort, and Hayden were watching us from outside the store.
"Uh..what should we do about him?" Comfort asked.
Crazy rolled her eyes as if it should be obvious. "We save him."
I sighed. "Fine."
We charged the guards.
I tackled the first one to the floor while Crazy jumped on the other one.
"Ahhhh!" he yelled. "Get this freak off me!"
She was hanging onto his head for dear life while Comfort grabbed Logan's arms and Hayden his legs.
Crazy jumped off the guard...and landed on Hayden, who toppled over and fell on top of a subconscious Logan, and then Comfort got pulled down on top of Hayden. I dumped the guard in the fountain and sat on top of them.
"Really, Rainbow, really?" Hayden grunted.
My eyes widened. A whole bunch of cops were coming toward us, this time with tazers.
"Oh crap. RUN!"
I took off, sprinting through the fountain, down the elevator, knocking a bunch of people over, through the doors, and didn't stop running until I got to the closest house there was to get to, Bunny's. Cocoa opened the door.
"Stole something?"
I shook my head, panting.
"Beat someone up?"
I cocked my head, thinking. "I guess."
She shook her head. "I should have known."
I frowned. "Where's everyone else?"
"In case you forgot, not everyone is super ninja athletic like you."
"OH FRIGGIN CRAP."
"What did you do this time?"
"I just got four people tazed."