Like We Used To

I buried my head in my hands and wiped my face quickly as tears cascaded down my cheeks. My chest was heaving with sobs as my bottom lip trembled, tears flowing over my eyes shamelessly. I desperately wiped my face, sniffling.

Why is everything always so wrong? Why does everything happen to me? Yeah, maybe I don't deserve Kyle.. But I just wish everything would be alright.

I buried my head in my pillow as I cried in my deathly quiet apartment. My cries seemed to echo around, bouncing off of every wooden wall.

I licked my lips and rose up, swallowing. I need to stay calm.. I let out a shaky breath and stumbled into the bathroom, leaning against the cold tile counter.

____

"He did what?" Heidi exclaimed, her mouth falling open. "He brought his fucking girlfriend to John's house? Is this boy asking for a knee to the dic-"

"It's fine.." I mumbled. "Just, chill, yeah?"

"How can I chill?" She yelled. "He's sitting in your mom's house, with his fucking whore of a girlfriend! How dare he!"

"Heid-" I trailed off, dropping my head as she stormed inside, the front door flying open. I sighed and mumbled something incoherent before walking after her.

I licked my lips nervously and ducked down behind the counter as Spencer walked by, greeting Kyle warmly. I froze as I heard the echoing sound of footsteps against the tile floor. I clenched my teeth shut and let out a relived breath as Kadie ran by, not noticing me.

All I have to do is stay hid from my mom until Marcie arrives. It seems like that's going to be alot easier than I thought.

I slumped my shoulders against the cabinet doors and stretched out my legs, feeling content as I sat still.

"Jinx what are you-"

"Ssh!" I jumped to my feet, covering my mom's mouth. "You gotta stay quiet, I don't-"

"Jinx!" Maddie grinned, wrapping her skinny arms around my bony waist. "It seems like I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Maddie.." I groaned shrugging her off. "I didn't want everyone to know I was here..."

"Too late," Spencer smirked, sliding onto the counter. "I just informed the whole house, Mindy's face was priceless.."

"I believe it's always like that," Autumn grumbled, "Her makeup is practically 2 inches think and her eyebrows, don't even get me-"

"Autumn!" My mom scolded, "It's rude to talk about our guests."

"When was Kyle classified as a guest?" Ryland questioned, "Before or after he fucked in Jinx's bed, with Jinx?"

"Your humor amuses me." I said sarcastically, crossing my arms.

"Your face humors me." He retorted, rolling his eyes.

"Your grades-" He cut me off.

"Don't even go there," He threatened.

"Or what?" I taunted.

He pressed his lips into a thin line and crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at me. His lips slowly rose into a smirk, before leaning closer to me.

"Older brother isn't here for nothing," He whispered. "Rumor has it, your girlfriend's pussy isn't as tight as you-" I cut him off.

"Ryland," I grumbled, shoving by him. "Why do you always do things like this?"

He threw his arms up, appalled. "No thank you? Is it so wrong that I enjoy looking out for my baby brother?"

"When it includes close and personal things like this," I replied, walking into the overly crowded living room.

"Heidi-" Kyle's pleading down was audible as I entered the room. I glanced over at the shamelessly and narrowed my eyes at the small, brunette haired girl.

"Don't you fucking say my name, you littler fucker!" Heidi hissed leaning in towards his face. "I respected you for having the goddamn balls to ask him out the second time, but no, Game over. The minute I hear you wanting him back, I'm going to rip your god forsaken balls out and feed them to a billy goat, a fucking goat."

"Heidi!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around her waist. "C'mon."

"No," She pushed me off. "I'm not finished, and your girlfriend? Don't even get me started on this little bitch. You probably cheated on Jinx, with her. I did have respect for her band, but now since she decides to be with you, well, I cleared out the goddamn band off my iPod. She's not even worth listening to, and yeah, maybe I'm being a bitch about this, but if you were in my position, Jinx's best friend, you would know how I feel, and guess what?"

An awkward silence swept over us and Kyle starred at her feebly. His hair was matted to his forehead and sweat was plastered to the side of his face. His bottom lip was sucked into his mouth as he stayed quiet.

"Oh, you're not gonna guess?" She laughed humorlessly. "I feel like slapping the shit out of someone-"

"Heidi!" I hissed cutting her off. I quickly grabbed her as she lunged towards Kyle. I dragged her into the kitchen and scowled down at her.

"Impressive speech," Ryland snickered.

"Pay up," Emma layed her hand out.

Ryland groaned and layed a crisp ten dollar bill in her hand. Emma smirked and folded the bill in her jean pocket.

"You guys bet on me?" Heidi asked in disbelief.

"Yeah.. are you gonna bitch slap us now?" Ryland question, tensing up.

"No!" She cracked a smile, "I wouldn't hurt you guys."

Ryland eyed her carefully as he quickly stepped around us and jogged up stairs, mumbling something incoherant.

I licked my lips and glanced at Heidi before looking over my shoulder at the all too familiar, skinny, to die for smile, bleach blond hair, skinny jean wearin, loud mouth obnoxious pervert, know it all Kyle Burns.

Too beat it all, he was starring back at me.

I quickly snapped my head away from him, rubbing my eyes quickly, desperately wanting to get rid of the longing look he held in his eyes.