Like We Used To

I sat quietly as my family and friends quickly gathered around the long dinner table that sat in the middle of my kitchen. My mom and sisters began passing out plates as my Dad and brothers carried the food in from off the grill.

I starred anxiously out the window, wanting nothing more than for Marcie and her band to pull up in my drive way so I could escape from Kyle and his girlfriend.

"Jinx are you going to eat?" My mom questioned, "You look ill."

I swallowed hard and managed to choke out, "I'm fine, mom."

"Are you sure? You haven't touched your-"

"I'm fine." I snapped, instantly regretting it.

"Don't you dare talk to your mother than way!" My Dad pointed his finger at me. "You still ain't too young to get beatings."

"I'm sorry.." I mumbled meekly. "Can I be excused?"

"Excused?" My Dad raised his eyebrows. "For what?"

"Can I just leave?" I questioned in a more forceful, demanding tone.

It got quiet as the question fell flat. I glanced up at the open mouth faces, they appeared anxious as they waited for my Dad's reaction.

I gripped the edge of the dinner table as I forcefully swallowed and blinked. I tried not to meet anybody's gaze, for fear of the reaction I would take on.

My Dad let out a long, deep breath as he stood, towering over my more lanky form. He gripped onto my arm and pulled me into the living room.

"I don't know why you're acting this why but I advice you to quite." He warned, shaking my shoulder softly. "You know I don't like treating my kids this way."

"Then why do it?"

"Because you're constantly pushing me, It seems like you just don't care about hardly anything anymore," He paused. "Your mom is constantly worrying about your well being."

"She shouldn't worry," I mumbled. "I'm twenty-four, I know what I'm doing with my life."

"Do you?" He grunted, "Do you really?"

"Dad!" I threw my hands up. "I know your idea of my future isn't an English literature teacher, but this is what I want, It isn't my fault that I don't want to take over that stupid fucking company of yours."

He abruptly backhanded me across the face as the words continued to flow from my mouth much like poison. I froze as my eyelids closed. I inhaled a deep shaky breath as I looked up at him, in disbelief.

I can't believe he hit me. He was the last person I ever expected to him me. First of all, I never expected anyone to hit me..

But my Dad.. that snapped something inside of me right then. I swallowed and slumped my shoulders, shuffling my feet.

A car honk in the distance broke us from the stillness that seemed to settle over the tension in the room. I quickly walked towards the door, not giving him a second glance.

"Jinx!" My mom cried out after me.

I stood still and starred straight at the door, licking my dry cracked lips. I didn't want to speak a single word. I was too afraid of the emotions my voice would give away.

"Don't leave." She pleaded pushing her chair back.

I flickered my eyes around the room, at all of the faces. My brothers eyes were huge as they starred at me as if they couldn't believe what just occurred.

I swallowed hard as someone began knocking on the door. I glanced out the screen door too see Marcie standing there, her face lit up in a bright smile.

"Are you coming?" She questioned, twirling her straight brunette hair. She hesitantly pushed the screen door open a and stepped in, shuffling towards me.

I automatically wrapped my arm around her waist before leaning into her. "It'll be a minute, I've gotta handle a few things and we can be on our way."

She nodded and quickly kissed my cheek before turning and pushing the door open. Her lips left a sticky substance on my cheek as I wiped it off, biting my lip.

What do I say to my mom?

'Oh, I'm sorry, I'll stay and just let Dad knock me around a few more times? I mean, he hit me, never has he done that before. I've talked back, shouted, stomped upstairs, been a drama queen but he slaps me for saying fuck?

Or alteast that's why I think he did it..

"Jinx." My mom scolded, "Don't let her leave, tell her to grab a chair."

Marcie stopped and glanced at me, smiling sheepishly. "I don't want to intrude Mrs.-" She got cut off.

"No no, Call me Clara, Don't worry your pretty head off," My mom dismissed the thought. "It would be a pleasure to have you join us."

"Were leaving though." I interjected, grabbing my jacket and phone off the counter. "Tim's gonna meet us in in a town not far from here."

"You can't leave yet." My mom's voice cracked, "I need to talk to you."

Marcie laced our hands together and stepped closer, "Jinx we don't have to leave just yet, The guys don't have to leave just yet."

"But we'll be late and-" She cut me off.

"We were leaving too early as it was, If we left now we would have three or four sets to go through before they play."

Damn her.

"Then it's settled, go get your friends outside and tell them to come on in." My mom smiled in glee before walking into the living room.

I gulped and looked at the already almost full table. Forever The Sickest Kids, John, Ross, Shane, Heidi and my family sat there, starring at me expectantly.

Fuck.

This is gonna be the worst, awkward dinner of my life.