Paint It Black

Sunny's POV

I didn't cry, like I thought I would, I guess the emotion went away after I left the building. I was still hurting, though, and I wanted to go home. I knew I couldn't quit, I had 3 more days left, and I couldn't let Frank get the best of me. 

When I got back to my mom's I went straight up to the guest room and laid down. My head hurt, as well as my feelings, and I just wanted to fall asleep. Having dreams weren't a big deal anymore. I don't care to dream.

I pulled the comforter over my body, staring at the ceiling, watching the sun go down. I grabbed my phone and decided to call Butcher; I hadn't talked to him since yesterday morning.

"Sunshine," he answered quickly, "how are you?"

"Terrible," I told him huskily, "I feel mentally exhausted."

"Guy trouble?"

"Yeah, but I rather not get into it."

He hummed, "Yeah, I can tell."

I shifted in bed, "I...I was thinking, maybe when I get home, we can turn the nursery into my own dark room." the idea just sprung up on me, like that second.

"Are you sure?" Butcher sounded worried.

"Yeah, I don't need it anyway, and plus, I haven't been in there forever."

"Sunny, what's wrong? What happened?" 

"I'm tired of feeling heavy and sad about everything, I need something new and refreshing."

"I'm not touching that nursery," he stated, "not until you give me a good, valid, and sane reason why we should turn it into a dark room."

I sighed, "Fine, I'll just keep using yours."

"Fine with me," he countered.

"Butcher, why are you being difficult?"

"Because you are acting weird; and not the good kind of weird where we go hide in the racks at Wal-Mart."

I smiled to myself, "I miss you, dude."

He huffed, "You are all over the place, Sunny, I think you need a nap."

"Ok...ok, B, I'll take a nap for you."

He chuckled, "I love you, kiddo."

"Love you, B."
--

When I woke up, it was 4 am, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I got out of bed, grabbed my iPod, and went and sat on the window seat. The sun was barely coming up, sending a sliver of pink and orange across the golf course.

"I should paint," I said aloud.

I moved from the seat, plugging the earbuds into my ears, and put on Adam's Song by Blink-182, just to feel even more depressed.

I crept down to the basement, making sure not to wake mom and Chris. I flicked on the light and jogged down the stairs. A stencil painting was waiting for me, a little portrait of Jack and Sally; I got the idea after listening to the Danny Elfman soundtrack.

I began to paint in Sally's skin, blackening her stitches. Isn't it so cliche to say you want to have a relationship like Jack and Sally's? They don't get together until the end, and until then, the poor girl just watches him from afar, attending to an old, bitter scientist with a shit life. Maybe I'm over-analyzing this stuff...maybe I'm being cynical. I just want to find my place in life.

After over thinking and painting, I went back upstairs to change and get ready for another shitty day here. I dressed down: A Panic! At the Disco t-shirt, black boyfriend jeans, and converse. I did my hair up, deciding to dye it back to black when I got back to Chicago. I wanted a change, and it'd be good as soon as I was out of here.
--

I met Mikey outside, waving to him, and his eyes nearly popped out his head. I raised my brow at him.

"What? Is there something wrong with my face?" I asked worriedly as he just stared.

"No," he smiled, "you look like my old Sunshine."

I chuckled, "Downer day."

"I'm so use to you all dressed up, but here you are, looking like you're about to hit up a concert."

"Thanks, I guess, Mikey."

"You look cute, Sunny, don't get me wrong."

"What? Did I look like shit before?" I joked.

He huffed, "Of course not, you look more relaxed, though."

"I feel cozy," I told him, "I'll meet you inside, yeah?"

"Okay," he pecked my forehead.

I went inside, walking down the long narrow hall. I didn't feel at all sad, I felt a little drained, but also a lot better. I think it was the painting and the thought of 2 more days here.

"Whoa," Ray mumbled as I walked in, "this is the Sunny I know."

I rolled my eyes, "You guys act like I got surgery or something."

"Well, you look like how I met you, kid," Gee chimed in next, "we got coffee if you want some."

"Oh, thank God," I rushed over to the little snack area and grabbed a styrofoam cup and filled it with coffee.

"What song are you guys doing today?"

"Vampire Money, then Bulletproof Heart." Ray strummed his guitar, playing a cord from Bulletproof.

"Cool," I sipped at my coffee.

I watched them for a while, taking a shot here and there. After a while, Frank and Mikey came in. I didn't bother looking at Frank, he probably thought I was still mad, when in fact I wasn't. The pills let me get over it, which I cannot thank those stupid white capsules enough. 

We didn't talk, they mostly recorded and clashed in new ideas. I sat beside them, shooting a little film of the new ideas, then pictures. Some were useless, while others were fun and cute. During lunch, I stayed in the studio, while they all went out. I had to upload the photos, and just my luck, the only one still in the room was Frank. I put my iPod on, avoiding any kind of contact he was going to give me. 
It was working so far, until my phone started to ring. I prayed it wasn't Tyler, or my mom.

I looked at the screen and smiled, it was Jack.

"Ah, Jackie!" I screeched happily, leaning against the couch, "How are you bro?"

"My ear," he cursed at me, "what are you screeching for?" he paused for a moment, "Did you just call me bro?"

I giggled, "Yes, because I missed you, dude," I closed my laptop, "where are you?"

"New York with Sisky," I smiled wider.

"Let me talk to him!" I could feel eyes burning at the side of my face.

"Sunny, what is up?" Sisky yelped.

"The sky, my friend," I felt so happy then and there, I don't know why, "what's up with you?"

"Preparing my abs for tour, you coming along?"

"Of course, California is such a drag." I bit at my thumb nail, "I can't wait to hit the road."

"Me either," he chuckled happily, "when are you coming home?"

I exasperated slowly, "Saturday, most definitely."

"Party?"
I giggled, "Yes! A big party with Bilvy, Carden and Chizzy!"

"Now I'm all excited," he grumbled, "I can't wait to see you."

"Aw, I miss you too, Siska." I cooed at him; the eyes burning harder.

"I gotta go, but text me later, okay?"

I nodded, "Will do."

"Can I talk now?" Jack got back on the phone, "Butcher said you're coming home early?"

"Yes, sir, I am." I crossed my right arm across my chest.

"I thought you were getting out for summer?"

I rolled my eyes, "I hate Summer in LA," I told him, "and I also decided I wanted to go to Michigan after I get home."

"After the massive party you guys will have?"

"Yep," I chuckled happily, "all my debts are paid, I don't have to see my mother until Thanksgiving."

"Ouch, kid," Jack retorted, "what'd she do now?"

"Nothing," I sighed, I caught eyes with Frank for a second, but I looked to the floor quickly, "I don't like being here."

"Well, we'll be waiting for you on Saturday."

"Thanks, Jackie," he groaned.

"Stop calling me Jackie."

"Oh, fine... Jack," I rolled my eyes, "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Love ya, J."

"Love you, Sunny."

I hung up my phone, smiling, feeling excited to go home. I knew after all the mess here, that in Chicago were my real friends waiting for me to come home. They loved me, they cared, they didn't put me down, or make me feel weird about being 'crazy'.

"Someone's happy," I looked up to see Mikey, holding a In-N-Out chocolate shake in his hand.

"Thanks, Mike," he handed it to me.

"What are you so happy about?"

"I'm going home soon. I get to see my friends," my voice was airy and slow.

"That Jack and Butcher guy?" 

I nodded, "Yeah," I took a sip of the shake, "we're going on the road in August...I can't wait."

Mikey eyed me, "You're really happy, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"I like when you smile like that," he started, sitting across from me, in the computer chair, "you look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland."

I shook my head, giggling. I caught eyes with Frank again, he looked upset. I looked away, thinking happily.

Chuck Palahniuk had once said the best revenge is Happiness, no one likes seeing someone having a good fucking life.