Paint It Black

Sunny's POV

Frank sat outside, on the front steps smoking and talking on his phone. I smiled at the sight, it made me think about the first time we started dating, and how much his smoking turned me on. I laughed at the thought; my hormones were getting out of hand.

I stepped from the foyer and went into the kitchen. Along with the hormones, my appetite was getting the best of me, and even caused harsh sickness when I didn't slow down.

Mom was at the counter, putting soaking dishes into the dishwasher. She smiled up at me when I sat at the counter.

"Hey, I was wondering about the nursery," mom spoke softly, "are you going to go through it or...?"

I shrugged, I never thought about it until she brought it up, "I don't know, probably. I should get it ready."

"Would you need help?"

"No...there's not much in there."

She nodded, "Do you need clothes or something? We could have Chris' daughter throw you a baby shower in a few months."

I shook my head, "No, I haven't plenty of clothes, thanks to Bill's mom."

"That's right," mom tweaked her lips, "Is it still painted the same?"

"Yeah...I hadn't been in there in over a year."

The touchy subject of the nursery killed me. I hated the thought of going in there and messing up it's peaceful atmosphere. The last time I was in there, I was crying, and I felt like I was ruining it by going in. It was Sage's room, and a part of me wanted me to keep it that way.

"Didn't you need a rocking chair?" she asked.

"Yeah, but we can get one later," I was trying to put the thing off, I didn't want to rush into this.

"Sunny, do you still think about the last baby? Sage?"

I chewed at my lip, "Yes and no. I think about him whenever I'm reminded of winter."

"Do you still feel guilty?" 

I shook my head, "Not anymore."

"The reason I'm bringing all this is up, is because I don't want you to think bad about this one."

"I don't feel bad...I thought I would, but I don't," I look down at my small, pudgy stomach.

She smiled, "What do you hope it is?"

I shrugged, "As long as it's healthy, it doesn't matter."
-

Frank and I walked around the mall, the same mall that caused that small riot because he was here. This time, though, there wasn't many people around, and he wasn't acting crazy. He held my hand, tight, and pulled me close to his side.

"What are we doing?" I asked him.

He hummed for a second, "Getting exercise and finding jeans."

I shook my head and kept close to him. He led the way to Macy's and to the mens section. I stood by, watching him rummage through jeans, his face tweaking at the different jeans.

I giggled at him, causing him to look over at me and smile back. My heart fluttered at him, again I was like a girl eying her crush. He found a pair and came over to me; I stood on the outside of the racks sector and hand my hands in my jean pockets.

"Do these look cool?" He asked showing me a pair of black jeans, "I'm gonna fuck them up when we get home though."

I smiled at him, again, "They're great."

Frank smiled back, took my hand, and led us to the register. He paid for his jeans and led us out towards the exit.  On our way out, we bumped right into, figuratively speaking, into Marilyn.

I think my smile faded faster than the speed of light. I tried my best to ignore her, but she spoke up.

"Wow, what a sight," her lips were turned down, "I didn't believe the rumors."

Frank squeezed my hand, "We're leaving, so--"

She cut him off, "Can I talk to you," she looked at me, "I just want to talk to you, Sunny."

I raised my brow, looked at Frank and then back at Marilyn. I sighed, "What about?"

She tweaked her lips, "It's important and private."

"Look, whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it."

She shook her head, "Please, just 5 minutes."

I looked up at Frank, "It'll be quick."

He nodded, kissed my cheek and let my hand go. I looked at Marilyn now, and followed her towards the side of the store. She stopped when we were out of view of Frank.

She sighed heavily, "I'm sorry about everything, Sunny, I really am."

I rolled my eyes, "Is that all--"

She cut me off, "No, just listen," she recomposed herself, "I'm apologizing, because I should. I need too. I was such a bitch to you, and I shouldn't have been. You were my best friend, you were the closest thing I had to a real family...you were the only person who actually gave a fuck about me."

I could see the pain and tears growing in her eyes, "Marilyn--"

She cut me off again, "If I hadn't been such an asshole, you and Frank would probably would be married by now, or something. If I hadn't been so stupid and selfish, you wouldn't have been outcasted."

The bad memories of high school ate at me, and I grimaced. I looked away, crossing my arms, "Yeah, I know."

"Ever since we stopped talking, my life went straight to hell," she gave a hard smile, fighting tears, "I had a kid...I got with a terrible man...I got a shitty job. I really hate my life," she gave one of those sad chuckles, that you only see on TV.

"For a while, I hated my life, too," I confessed softly, "I actually thought about suicide for a while."

She furrowed her brows at me, "Because of Frank?"

I nodded, "That, and lots of other things that happened. I was living with a dark cloud over my head."

"Why? You have the best life out of all of the kid's from high school."

I sighed, "Marilyn, just because you see great things from the outside, doesn't mean you know what's going on, on the inside."

She nodded, "I know what you mean."

"Now," I dropped my arms, "is that all you had to say?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to apologize."

"I accept it, and I forgive everything you've done and said to me."

She smiled, little droplets of tears rolling down her blushed cheeks, "Thank you, Sunny."

I nodded, and turned to leave. I didn't look back, instead I walked over to Frank and took his hand. He gave me a look, wondering.

"It was nothing," I told him swiftly.

"You sure?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

All that Marilyn said to me really lifted some weight off my shoulders. It was a weight that I hadn't known that was there until I saw her. I felt like it was all over; all the pain, the hate, the animosity, everything. We weren't enemies and we weren't friends. We were now strangers, and that was better than hating her.

I didn't express this to Frank, mainly because I didn't want him to worry about it. The thought Marilyn made him mad, and I didn't want anything like that to be on his mind. I just wanted everything to continue to be simple.