Paint It Black

Sunny's POV

I had come up with possible names for my baby. I was worried about this, because speaking too early always jinxed me. I didn't want to celebrate too early; like my mom had once said: "Don't count your eggs before they hatch."

I didn't want to tell anyone, but Frank, so I kept them to myself. They were names that I truly went through, in my mind, over an over again.

If it's a girl, I wanted to name her Tuesday Andy; sort of an ode to the Wednesday Addams, and her middle name coming from Butcher's real name: Andrew. It's a little weird, but I liked it.

If it's a boy, I wanted to name him after my dad, and after Frank. More or so it'd be Frank Joseph or Anthony Joseph; something along those lines. I thought it was cute, and I could ask Frank for some help with it later.
-

"What do you want to do?" Butcher had asked after we finished eating. He and I were bored and wanted to do something fun.

"Remember when we laid on the bus roof during that one tour in the Spring? And all we did was talk? Let's go that." I suggested.

Butcher smiled, "I'm in, but it's really cold outside."

"We can do it in the living room...on the floor."

He nodded, "I'll grab the pillows and blankets."

Butcher and I laid on the floor, laying quietly and looking up at the ceiling. We started talking about cartoons, then movies, and then conspiracies. It was pretty funny hearing him get riled up about UFOs.

Finally, we got to topics about significant others. He started out talking about this girl he liked, but dumped because she didn't believe in aliens. It was pretty stupid then.

He went on about girls he had met on tour, and then he asked me how I met Frank. I thought about it wearily. I remembered, but it was almost unreal.

"My friend...Normal, as I use to call her, won or bought tickets to see My Chemical Romance, I can't remember," I licked my lips and continued staring at the ceiling, "We went to the show, all the way in Champagne, then, while we were leaving, a security guard gave us backstage passes."

"Why?" he turned his head and I didn't look at him.

"Mikey told him to."

"He liked your friend?"

I nodded, "Yes...they messed around for almost two months after."

"How does Frank play in all this?"

I sighed, "He was always with Mikey, and would come with him whenever he'd come see my friend. He and I just...clicked, I guess. We dated for a few months and broke up, then we dated for about a month before we broke up again, and I met you," I turned my head, meeting his eyes.

"He's the one you were crying about in the art store." He put it all together, "Wow," he looked back at the ceiling.

I chuckled softly and looked back up with him. Butcher began to hum softly, thinking of something to say; even though nothing had been awkward.

"Are you going to marry him?" Butcher asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know."

"Do you think the Kid is Tyler's?"

I sighed heavily, "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"At times, but I have hope that it isn't." I murmured.

We were silent again, neither one of us made a sound. We both stared at the ceiling, and I put my hands around my bump, and rubbed gently. I closed my eyes and fear washed over me.

"Was Frank the only guy you dated?" he asked a minute later.

"Yeah." I answered, relaxing.

"How do you know you're suppose to be with him?" the question was quiet and unsure.

I looked at Butcher and tweaked my lips, "I don't know...no other guy has made me feel as good as he does."

Butcher wanted to say more, but stopped himself. It frustrated me, but I just continued staring up at the ceiling. I sighed deeply, taking in short breaths as the baby started to kick.
-

When I went to see the doctor, over the next following weeks, he advised me to relax more. He said the stress I was withholding was hurting my baby. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my baby.

I couldn't break the stress though, it was like I lived in stress. I worried about Frank, about Tyler, about the baby -it was all getting to me. I honestly wanted to relax, but I didn't know how to. I tried taking warm baths, going for walks, and painting, but nothing eased me.

"Maybe you should see your therapist again," Butcher suggested.

I shook my head, "No way."

"If you just talked, it would relax you."

"Why can't I just talk to you?" I gave him a sideways glance.

"Fine," he tapped the steering wheel, "talk to me."

"Well, she usually asks me questions," I told him.

He nodded, tweaking his lips, then he started to hum, "What are you most worried about?"

"This baby belonging to Tyler," I exasperated slowly.

"Why? What's so bad about him?" Butcher generally didn't know much about Tyler.

"He's not for me. I don't love him like I use to. I use to be able to talk to him about everything, but...since Frank came back, it all changed."

"Maybe you should talk to him," he gave me a serious glare, "tell him how you feel. Be honest with him, tell him every single thing."

What could be worse than talking to him? Butcher was right, if I wanted to feel any better, then I'd need to tell Tyler what I was feeling. I needed to tell him why I was angry, I just needed to let it all out.

When I finally called him, I was alone in my room. I stared at my mirror; his note was gone, and was replaced. I wondered how he would feel if he knew that the note, that gave me such good mornings, were gone.

"Sunny?" he voice cut my thoughts, "What's wrong?"

I sighed, turning away from the mirror, "I just need to talk to you, all right?"

"What about?" he was curious, and I knew he'd be playing with his knee, if he were sitting.

"About everything. I need to tell you how I feel, why I'm so angry."

He scoffed, "I know why you're angry. You want this kid to be Frank's."

I balled my left fist, "Yes...and I want to tell you that I don't..." I trailed gently, "I don't want to be mad or upset with you anymore."

"Okay."

"I love Frank, Ty, I really do. He was my first love, my first real kiss, my first everything. It has to be understandable about how much I care about him, and why I put him before every other guy." I swallowed heavily after.

"Just like Emme is to me," he answered slowly.

"Exactly. Frank means the world to me, I don't want any other guy, and I don't need any other guy. He's all I ever wanted."

He sighed softly, "Yeah."

"I care about you, too, Tyler, I truly do. You helped me out the darkest points in my life, and in a way, if it weren't for Frank, I wouldn't even know you," I chuckled softly, "You mean a whole lot to me. Us fighting is...idiotic."

"I know, and I understand, Sunny."

"If this kid is yours..." I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and sighed, "I want to make our relationship solid; make it stable for our child. And if it isn't yours, I would still want us to be cool. I want to be able to talk about you in a positive way."

"Me too, Sunny," he sighed softly, "thanks for...everything."

"Don't thank me, just...try and be my friend, okay?"

"I'll try my hardest."