Paint It Black

The days and weeks passed by in a blur; holidays came in, as did the phone calls and doctor's visits. I was much better now, I had Frank, I was stress free, and everything was okay.

It was November 22 that the guys' album came out. I went out and bought a physical copy of it, and sat in Butcher's car and listened to it.

The intro, with Dr. Death Defying, made me smile; the "Look Alive Sunshine!" line made my heart skip. I shook my head at it and continued listening. As Na Na Na came up, I had remembered watching them record it. 

Even if the past summer was hard, it was still an awesome one. This record made me feel a real connection to them. It's a weird feeling, but I couldn't deny I love those guys.

When the entire album had finished, I grabbed my phone and called Mikey. I knew he'd be the only one up, either playing games or drinking coffee. I really called to tell them that I loved the album, thus far.

"Good morning," I sang happily after Mikey picked up and yawned a hello.

"Sunny, what's up?"

"I just bought Danger Days...I fucking love it," I gushed.

He chuckled softly, "Thanks. What track do you like so far?"

"Its a toss up between Party Poison and Summertime."

"Oh, the love song, aye?" 

I nodded to myself, "Yep."

"I'm not surprised," he joked.

"I like Planetary, too, they'd make good dance songs."

"That's what we were shooting for."

"Well, you hit the target, Mike."
-

Butcher and I had spent Thanksgiving cooking an cleaning up. My mom and Chris had shown up, along with Butcher's family. It wasn't horrible, just very awkward, and time consuming.

Butcher's mom thought that he had knocked me up, and spent the entire visit trying to convince me to say that he had. It was the worst thing I had to endure, honestly. When they finally left, I felt so goddamn relieved, I swear, I fell asleep on my knees praying to the lord.

My mom had brought me a few things for the baby, and checked out the room. She was pleased, and thanked Butcher countless times for helping spruce it up. She always brought me a few of my childhood books for the room, a few Teddy bears, and jumpers for the baby. 

Frank wasn't able to come see me during the holiday, because of the traveling and barely got to see his mom and dad. He called though, and I was completely ecstatic just to hear his voice. I didn't fret as much as I thought I would, but I did cry a little.

It was the beginning of December when Frank came back. I jumped up and down when he showed up at my door. Of course, I was a little bigger, and he took notice; he pressed his hand against my belly and smiled.

"How is the kid?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

"Missing their daddy," I told him.

The smile on Frank's lips made my chest and heart flutter. The smile almost melted my heart; he looked truly happy, and it made me feel good. I really can't explain it much further.

We both went up to my room, he helped me get up those stairs, and laid down. That's the only thing I wanted to do with Frank; just lie and relax with him. 

He wrapped his arms around me, his fingers rolling around my stomach, and he occasionally kissed at the back of my neck. I smiled, widely, and shut my eyes, taking in his scent. He breathed in deeply, at my neck, and leaned his head atop of mine.

"I love you, Sunshine," he murmured in my ear.

The baby started to kick crazily, and Frank let out a short breath. I looked down at his tattooed fingers, still caressing my abdomen, "I love you too, Frankie."
-

Within a few days, it was time for my next check up. Frank was more excited than I was, mainly because he wanted to know the sex of the baby. I was okay with him knowing, but I didn't want to know. I just wanted this kid to be healthy.

At the clinic, Frank couldn't wait to get to the ultra sound room. He was way more excited than I anticipated.

"Why are you so excited?" I asked with a chuckle.

He smiled at me, that big, bright grin, "Our kid is almost here. We're so close."

I started down at my protruding belly; I had never thought of it that way. We were close, our child was almost here. It was weird, because I was in this same position two years ago, and I didn't even think of that then. I'm so close to holding this little boy or girl that is half of me and, possibly, half of Frank.

"I never thought of that," I told him.

"We're only 3 months away."

When Barbie arrived, she smiled at us and immediately grabbed the gel. As usual, she slipped some onto my swollen abdomen, and grabbed the small scanner. Frank sat on my left, while Barbie was on my right, and held my hand. She rolled the scanner across my belly, and the baby showed up on the monitor beside us.

"There the baby is," Barbie smiled at us, "the baby is healthy, and growing quite big."

Frank squeezed my hand, "Can you tell if it's a boy or girl yet?" he asked anxiously.

"Yep," Barbie nodded.

Frank looked over at me, "Can she tell me?" 

I nodded, Barbie continued to smile at me and leaned over to whisper to Frank. He leaned too, and smiled as she informed him the sex of our child. His eyes lit up, and he scrunched up his nose and smiled.

"Don't tell me," I warned him.

"I'm not," he said simply.

I shook my head at him; Barbie just chuckled and continued rolling the scanner over my belly and checking up on my baby.
-

Over the next few days, I stayed in doors. The overwhelming fear of falling and crashing always ate at me in December. I don't like December; it brings back bad memories.

I spent the majority of it with Frank and painting. I took a few pictures, mostly to put up in the baby's room. The shots were of Butcher, Frank, Jack, Bill, Sisky and one of myself. I wanted to put these photos up soon.

The best part of all this was that there was no arguing. Everything was peachy, everyone was happy. It seemed as if things were going my way.