God Made Friends So Everyone Wouldn't Kill Themselves
Chapter 16
It was weeks from when I first met Trevor and he never told me about his family. I first realized this when we were walking home from school on a Tuesday. I was telling him all these stories about when I was little and Andy was a baby. I told him everything; how I would brag about him, how no one liked me, and how I started to hate Andy. I told story after story, and Trevor just listened, nodding at approriate places and saying 'yeah' and other easy words. He was like my own little therapist. I felt bad because he was probably getting tired of hearing all about my childhood. And besides, it was time for him to tell me about his childhood.
"Hey, Trev?" I loved calling him that. I know it sounded stupid, but it saved me a syllable.
His eyes looked glazed over and tired. I bet he didn't get that much sleep the night before. "Yeah?" He realized that what I was going to say was important. "Sorry if I seem like I'm not listening. I'm just tired."
"Yeah, that's what I figured. Anyway, I realized that you haven't told me anything about your family. Could you?"
He had a far-away look in his eyes and sighed. "Well, alright. I know it wouldn't be fair to not tell you, since you told me about your family,"
He smiled at me, and I gave him a quick kiss. He was so nice.
"Okay. Well, my life story is kind of like yours. I was born as an only child. And I still am. I had really no one to play with, so I was really close to my dad. We would go up to this small little lake every Saturday and fish. He was really a good fisher. He got me my first rod when I was 4 years old, so I really got into it. One time, I caught this really big bass, almost 40 inches. It was really hard to reel in, considering I was only 5. That bass pulled really hard, and right when I was going to fall out of the boat, my dad grabbed me. He helped me reel the fish in, and when it was in the boat, flipping and flopping around, I felt bad for it. Like it belonged in that little lake for a purpose. I said to my dad, 'Daddy, can we put him back?" I saw the look in his eyes. He had been waiting for a fish this big, so he could go off and brag to all his fishing friends about the size of the fish. But he didn't kill it. He threw it back into the lake, just because I asked him to. I never really thought that much of it, but now, I know that he would have done anything for me, like he freed that fish because I asked him to.
And then, one day when I was 7, he promised me we would go kite flying. The day was really windy, but we didn't have any kites. He had to go to the store to buy one, and I stayed home. I remember right before he left I hugged him and asked him to get me a rainbow kite. He told me he would.
It was 2 hours later when my mom got the phone call. I was sitting there in the kitchen eating macaroni and cheese when she started to cry on the phone. I asked her why she was crying and who called. She came up to me and told me that daddy got into a car accident and that he wouldn't make it. I just didn't get. I thought to myself, 'Why did he go? We were supposed to go kite-flying,'.
We had to go to the hospital and the police station. I held my mom's hand the entire time. When we were at the police station, I heard a policeman talking to my mom about a drunk driver going off to the left side of the road. I didn't know what they meant.
Right before we were going to go they told us they found something in the trunk of the car, which was untouched because the car got hit from the front. A policewoman walked out of a room carrying a kite. It was a rainbow kite. I felt so sad then. I ran out the station and cried. I cried because my daddy was gone, and how he would never be able to fly kites with me."
There were a couple tears on his face, and I quickly wiped them off. I pulled him into a hug. "Oh, Trevor, I'm so sorry. I never knew. I always felt so bad for myself, but if what happened to you happened to me, I would never be able to live. You are so strong and brave, to live through that. That's what I like about you."
He broke the hug and looked at me fiercely. "I feel really good that I got that out. I have never said that to anyone."
"Same with me. You are the only one I have ever told about my brother dying," I told him.
I thought about how Trevor might have been as a kid. Probably cute, crazy, out going. Everything he is now. Except without a dad. I am so self-centered. I thought that my brother dying was horrible and I had the worst life a teenager could have. But there are so many kids out there, including Trevor, that have it much worse than me. I'm lucky. I'm lucky to still have my dad alive. And I'm lucky to have Trevor.
"Hey, Trev?" I loved calling him that. I know it sounded stupid, but it saved me a syllable.
His eyes looked glazed over and tired. I bet he didn't get that much sleep the night before. "Yeah?" He realized that what I was going to say was important. "Sorry if I seem like I'm not listening. I'm just tired."
"Yeah, that's what I figured. Anyway, I realized that you haven't told me anything about your family. Could you?"
He had a far-away look in his eyes and sighed. "Well, alright. I know it wouldn't be fair to not tell you, since you told me about your family,"
He smiled at me, and I gave him a quick kiss. He was so nice.
"Okay. Well, my life story is kind of like yours. I was born as an only child. And I still am. I had really no one to play with, so I was really close to my dad. We would go up to this small little lake every Saturday and fish. He was really a good fisher. He got me my first rod when I was 4 years old, so I really got into it. One time, I caught this really big bass, almost 40 inches. It was really hard to reel in, considering I was only 5. That bass pulled really hard, and right when I was going to fall out of the boat, my dad grabbed me. He helped me reel the fish in, and when it was in the boat, flipping and flopping around, I felt bad for it. Like it belonged in that little lake for a purpose. I said to my dad, 'Daddy, can we put him back?" I saw the look in his eyes. He had been waiting for a fish this big, so he could go off and brag to all his fishing friends about the size of the fish. But he didn't kill it. He threw it back into the lake, just because I asked him to. I never really thought that much of it, but now, I know that he would have done anything for me, like he freed that fish because I asked him to.
And then, one day when I was 7, he promised me we would go kite flying. The day was really windy, but we didn't have any kites. He had to go to the store to buy one, and I stayed home. I remember right before he left I hugged him and asked him to get me a rainbow kite. He told me he would.
It was 2 hours later when my mom got the phone call. I was sitting there in the kitchen eating macaroni and cheese when she started to cry on the phone. I asked her why she was crying and who called. She came up to me and told me that daddy got into a car accident and that he wouldn't make it. I just didn't get. I thought to myself, 'Why did he go? We were supposed to go kite-flying,'.
We had to go to the hospital and the police station. I held my mom's hand the entire time. When we were at the police station, I heard a policeman talking to my mom about a drunk driver going off to the left side of the road. I didn't know what they meant.
Right before we were going to go they told us they found something in the trunk of the car, which was untouched because the car got hit from the front. A policewoman walked out of a room carrying a kite. It was a rainbow kite. I felt so sad then. I ran out the station and cried. I cried because my daddy was gone, and how he would never be able to fly kites with me."
There were a couple tears on his face, and I quickly wiped them off. I pulled him into a hug. "Oh, Trevor, I'm so sorry. I never knew. I always felt so bad for myself, but if what happened to you happened to me, I would never be able to live. You are so strong and brave, to live through that. That's what I like about you."
He broke the hug and looked at me fiercely. "I feel really good that I got that out. I have never said that to anyone."
"Same with me. You are the only one I have ever told about my brother dying," I told him.
I thought about how Trevor might have been as a kid. Probably cute, crazy, out going. Everything he is now. Except without a dad. I am so self-centered. I thought that my brother dying was horrible and I had the worst life a teenager could have. But there are so many kids out there, including Trevor, that have it much worse than me. I'm lucky. I'm lucky to still have my dad alive. And I'm lucky to have Trevor.