Besame

There are two moments that forever changed my life. The first one was when I met Brian Haner. I was a shy little girl with brown hair made in pigtails and it was the first day of pre-school. When it was time to play, I was at the corner by myself.

It was so long ago, but in my head, it felt almost like it was yesterday. I remembered how he approached me and introduced himself with a confidence I envied. He had a sweet smile and invited me to play with his toys.

Ever since then, he and I had been almost inseparable. He gave me the confidence that I needed to be more open with people. He meant a lot to me.

The second moment that changed my life forever was when I found who my father was. I was twelve years old, and my mother never liked to talk about him because she said it was in the past. She told me I had her, and that was all I needed. But, when I came back from Brian’s home one day, there was a black limo outside of my home, and it had flags on the antenna that I didn’t recognize.

I went inside of my home, and that’s when I met my father. He looked so sophisticated and… royal. He introduced himself as Miguel Antonio Del Monte. He was from a small country near Spain.

My father didn’t just come to allow me to meet him. He came to tell me not just that he was my father, but who I was, and what it meant to be his daughter.

“Adella, mija,” he said as he held my hands, “you are a princess. A real, life princess. I am the King of my country, and you are my only child which makes you royalty.”

I took my hands back and desperately looked at my mom for an answer. One would think that any ordinary girl would’ve loved to be a princess and at first I thought it was going to be great, but as my father told me what was going to happen when I turned sixteen, I started to hate being a princess.

“When you turn sixteen,” he said with his Spanish accent, “you will come home with me. You will become the princess and future Queen.”

“Miguel,” my mother stepped in, “she’s just a child. One thing at a time, please.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry. There isn’t a lot of time,” he smiled sadly.

“What do you mean?” I asked with a lump in my throat.

He sighed and held my hands once more. “I am dying, and I have no heirs but you, Adella. My parents have passed away, and I have no brothers or sisters. You are the last of the Del Monte, you have to take your responsibility in the future.”

Two big moments in my life that turned my world around, maybe one more than the other.

I was told to never tell anyone about who I was. There were bad people in the world who would try to use me to get money from my father. I couldn’t even tell Brian that in four years I was going to leave and be trained to become a Queen.

My father started one lesson before anything, and that was learning to speak Spanish. Every day, after school, a tutor would come and teach me. In a year I learned enough Spanish to have a smooth conversation with my father over the telephone. The more I got to know him the more I realized I was more like him than my mother, personality wise.

Keeping a secret from my best friend wasn’t easy. I always told him everything, and he did too. I just didn’t know how to approach the subject. “Hey Brian, guess what? I’m a princess, a real one. My father is the King of a small country near Spain and I’m in training to become a Queen because he’s dying and I’m the only heir to the throne. Oh… I’m leaving when I turn sixteen.” It wouldn’t go well if I just said that.

I started to take advantage of what I had. The little normalcy I wouldn’t have.

When I turned fifteen, I tried to make it through the day with a smile. Brian, and Jimmy, a friend I had met through Brian, took me to an amusement park. I tried to enjoy myself, but all I kept thinking about was that in a year, exactly, I would be packing my bags and I would be gone.

“What has you thinking so hard, Adella?” Brian asked when we took lunch at the amusement park and Jimmy was in the bathroom. His brown eyes held real concern for me. I thought I had masked my own worry, but he always seemed to read my mind.

I smiled. “I’m just wondering about life.”

He scoffed. “Life? We’re fifteen, Adella. We still got time, like ten years when we’re really old.”

I chuckled and looked down at my food. “Brian, what if I went away? What if something took me away? What if in a year everything would change?”

“Adella, you’re scaring me, are you trying to tell me you’re dying?” he gulped nervously.

I laughed. “No, silly, you know what, never mind.”

Before he could say anything else, Jimmy back and demanded that we’d get on the biggest, meanest ride. To avoid Brian’s questions, I agreed even though I was scared to do so.

I realized I was in love with my best friend. Real cliché, I know, but there was only one person in the world who just knew me. I didn’t have to tell him what I wanted for lunch. He knew what I liked and what I enjoyed. He spoke to me about his dreams, playing with Metallica on stage or Guns N’ Roses. When he asked what my dream was, I would answer

“Just live a normal life. I want to find a good job, a good man, and get married and have babies. Maybe bungee jump.”

He thought I was crazy that I wanted something so… normal, but he had no idea.

As my birthday got closer and closer, I feared that I would never have the guts to tell Brian. I feared he would hate me if I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to think that I was just leaving without a word.

When he was practicing with his guitar, I stopped him. I told him I had something important to tell him.

“You’re dying, aren’t you?” he said and his eyes filled up with tears. “Adella--”

“I’m not dying, Brian Haner,” I scolded him.

“Then what is it?” he blinked away the tears.

“I’m a princess. My father is the king of a small country in Europe and… when I turn sixteen, I’m leaving to be trained to become the Queen because my father is dying,” I said in a big rush, but he always understood me when I spoke too fast.

Like I expected, he scoffed and said I had a big imagination.

“It’s the truth,” I growled. “Why do you think I know Spanish? My dad hired a tutor to teach me.”

He looked straight into my eyes and then his mouth fell open.

“You’re fucking serious?” he gasped.

I nodded.

“You’re turning sixteen in six months, Adella… you’re… leaving in six months?” he asked softly and I nodded again. He placed his guitar down and stared off looking at something else.

He stayed silent for several minutes and then he suddenly broke into a smile.

“I’ve been best friends with a princess,” he said in his old self.

I smiled in relief. “I’m sorry I kept it a secret. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone.”

“I’m not anyone, Adella, but I forgive you. I can understand why,” he hugged me and I hugged him back tightly.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I’m incapable of hating you,” he sighed.

I hugged him more tightly. “You’re the best, Haner. What would I do without you?”

“Be locked up in your room reading Shakespeare or something,” he joked, but it was probably true. I laughed and then we went back to what we were doing. He played his guitar, but I noticed he was slightly distracted because he missed notes he used to breeze through.

After I told Brian who and what I was, he was a bit more distant. I thought it would bring us closer together because I would be leaving, but when I called to see if he wanted to hang out, he would make some sort of a excuse. I didn’t think any of it at first, but after the second time, I knew something was wrong.

At school, he was there for me, but I could already tell the difference. He didn’t tell anyone, but Jimmy had noticed how Brian was being with me and he asked me if Brian and I had gotten into a fight. I told Jimmy that it was nothing to worry about that we weren’t fighting.

May came around too fast. It meant it was almost the end of the school year and just one month away from my birthday. Brian and I had gotten into some kind of cold war. He wouldn’t admit that there was something wrong. He would always shrug it off whenever I brought it up.

My mom and I were already making plans to move. The house was on sale, and we had boxes in the basement ready to be taken out to be filled with our things. My father said we only needed little clothes, but I wanted to take with me things that would remind me that I once had a normal life. I wanted to take my pictures, and other things.

Then, my birthday was only a week away. School was over and we were on summer vacation. I had said my goodbyes to everyone who didn’t know who I really was. Jimmy knew I was moving away, but he didn’t know for what reasons. He didn’t question it. He just said he was going to fucking miss me.

I was alone in my room crying two night before I was going to leave. I knew things were never going to be the same. I knew I was never going to have true friends like Jimmy and Brian. I wouldn’t even get to choose whom I married because it had to be a Duke and… Brian Haner wasn’t a Duke or any kind of royalty.

I heard my mom and dad talking on the phone one night. My mom argued that I shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage, but I couldn’t be Queen without being married. Some kind of stupid, ancient law.

“Adella,” someone said.

I gasped and jumped a bit from my bed. I looked over to my window and saw Brian with a sheepish smile. I wiped away my tears and went to the window. I opened it and allowed him in. He looked nervous and sad. It was exactly how I felt too.

“What’s wrong?” I asked and wiped away the rest of my tears.

“You’re leaving, that’s what’s wrong,” he said with clenched teeth and then relaxed. “You are my best friend… no, you’re more than that. I can’t even explain it.”

“Like a sister?” I almost flinched when I said the word ‘sister’.

He shook his head. “No, I don’t see you as a sister, trust me.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. He sighed and licked his lips.

“I’m not good with sharing my feelings, you know that. I tend to back it up with sarcasm and jokes.”

“I blame your dad,” I joked and he chuckled.

He came closer. “I do too. Look, Adella, you’re… fuck…” he stepped back. “I thought this would be easy, but I’m…”

“Why have you been so distant, Brian?” I asked and took his hand and he looked in my eyes. “Please tell me because I don’t want to leave thinking you hate me.”

“Didn’t I tell you I’m incapable of hating you? I… I’ve been distant because when you told me what you were I felt so… unworthy,” he laughed without humor. “I felt like I’m just gonna hold you back. You’re a fucking princess, a future Queen and I’m just… I’m just Brian Haner from Huntington Beach. When I found out you were leaving, it made me realize… that I think of you as more than a friend.”

“You’re right. You’re not good sharing your feelings.” I told him because I felt a little lost.

He groaned in frustration. “I’m trying to tell you I like more than a friend. I love you, Adella, and not just friendship love like girlfriend, boyfriend love!”

I stared at him in shock. “You do?”

“Yes,” he said, “for a long time, I think. I just never realized it.”

“I’m leaving in two days and you’re telling me this now?”

“I’m not perfect, Adella.”

I kissed him. I kissed him on the lips and though his reaction was slow, he kissed back. It was my first kiss. I knew I wasn’t his first, but I didn’t mind. He was my first and he knew it. He slowed down my fast, rushed kiss and I enjoyed it even more.

He tugged on my lower lip softly, and I let him in. He was careful because he knew it was new to me, but the feeling of the righteousness wasn’t new. I always knew it would be explosive with him. We took a break. I needed to breathe.

I smiled like a fool in love.

“Promise me you won’t forget about little ol’ me?” Brian whispered and I chuckled a bit.

“Never. Want to know something I learned in Spanish?” I smirked deviously.

He returned the smirk. “What?”

“Besame,” I said with a sultry tone.

“What does it mean?” he asked but he was already leaning in and our lips met.