If Wishes Were Horses, More Beggars Would Ride Them

I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting in front of the navy blue door, but I knew I had listened to Death Cab for Cutie’s Transatlanticism on my ipod two times at least.

Suddenly, a familiar voice pierced through my headphones, “OHMYGOODNESS! Is that my baby half-sister ROSE TUCKER!?”

I jumped up and ran to hug my half-sister, Violet. And it wasn’t until I was safely inside the confines of her surprisingly tight bear hug that I started to cry.

“Rose baby, what’s wrong?” Violet asks as I bury my face in her jacket, “I mean, I haven’t seen you in years and now you show up unannounced and crying? Is this about William and Mona? Are you in some kind of trouble?”

I pull myself off of Vi’s shoulders and sniffle a little bit, “I’m so sorry Vi, it’s just that my dad kicked me out and I have no money and I can’t go to school now and-“

That’s when Violet cut me off and grabbed hold of my shoulders, “Wait, William kicked you out? Now I know you’re in trouble. What is it? Oh my goodness, are you pregnant? Are you into drugs?Are-“

“Vi, its nothing like that. I- I…became an artist, and now my dad, …William, is refusing to help me pay for school.” I said, almost worried about how Violet would react. I hadn’t seen my half sister in years, and I wasn’t sure what route she had taken with her life. She could agree with my dad that being an artist was a fruitless career choice and I should have just taken that damn scholarship. All of these thoughts were running through my head as she pulled me in again to another bear hug.

Quietly, Violet mumbled, “That asshole.” Then to my relief she turned to me and said, “Let’s go inside Rose. You can sleep on my couch until you get your life together. What kind of family would I be if I left you with no place to go. Besides, Miles probably wants his dinner.”

“Miles?” I ask Vi, “you have a kid?”

Vi starts laughing and grabs the keys out of her purse in order to open the door.
“No,” she explains, “Miles is my dog. He might act like he’s my kid, but Milo and I are still a ways away from that.”

Violet opens the door and a very happy terrier comes running towards my sister. The little dog jumps towards my sister’s arms so she bends down to pick him up. The apartment is furnished just like I imagined Violet’s apartment would be. Vintage knick-knacks and tons of books are scattered about, all the walls are painted very beautiful neutral colors, but most importantly it feels like a real home.

“Wait a minute,” I stop her, “Who’s Milo? And why are you two still a ways from having kids?”
Violet sets the wiggling dog down and motions for me to put my stuff down near the comfy looking blue couch and take a seat.

“Well Ms. I-Haven’t-Been-Around-In-About-Five-Years, Milo is my boyfriend. He’s amazing and wonderful, I think you’d really like him. He’s a musician, and his band is starting to get really well-known, so they tour a lot. I kind of hate it, but it makes him happy. Actually, I got Miles when Milo was away on tour. Originally his name was Milo too, but Human Milo had an issue with a dog being named after him- even though I swear to this day it was meant as a loving gesture.” Violet continues to tell me more about her life and what’s happened to her over the past five or so years. I’m kind of amazed how well her life turned out, and listening to all of her stories makes me wish I had tried to keep in touch. She was always just across town, but William had me so afraid to contact her that I hadn’t really tried to reach out to her at all after she moved out of the house. Apparently, after moving out at 19, she finished nursing school at the top of her class, got a job at a local hospital, and has been working there in the ER for a good while now. I’m glad to hear she’s happy, it seems like her life is pretty much perfect. I hope one day things work out the same way for me.

“So what about you Rose? What have you been up to in the past five years? I mean, the last time I actually spoke to you, you were thirteen and just starting to think for yourself,” Violet asks me, and for a second I’m not sure how to respond. I go the safe route, telling her about all of my high school accomplishments, the story that people usually want to hear. Violet knows me better than that though, I mean-she does share half of my genetic make up. She asks me for the real story, the real story being how I ended up in front of her door with no place else to go.

So right there, on that incredibly soft blue couch I tell my sister everything. I tell her about finding art, and realizing that I love it way more then I could ever love being a doctor. I told her about how I hated being the homecoming queen, and how I had learned to resent my father’s controlling behavior. I told her that the sight of blood makes me queasy, and how I break into insuppressible laughter whenever someone gets hurt in front of me. I tell her everything that ever happened to me in the last few years. Violet was a great listener, and before I knew what had happened it was a little after nine o’clock and we had already gone through six cups of tea between the two of us.

“Hey Vi, thanks for listening,” I tell her, honestly grateful that someone else was privy to everything I had been keeping inside for so long. Violet looks at me with kind, pale blue eyes, and places a loving hand on my shoulder.

“Rose, I’m glad you came here.”