My Final Goodbye

I gazed at the sunset falling around me, my arms wrapped loosely around my legs holding them close to my chest. A small smile adorned my soft shadowed features as night time slowly surrounded me. The old rusting bench i sat on was lightly illuminated by the moon as it rose ever dauntingly above my head.
"Kass... Kassandra." I heard some one quietly calling my name. It was faint, not from distance but from volume.
"Yes, Sam?" I said back, just as softy, a growing smile on my face.
"It's late, getting close to nine, I think. We should probably start headingback towards the apartment, yeah?" I took in what he was saying, sighing softly, taking one last glace towards the full moon and bright stars. Grabbing Sam's outstretched hand, I slowly got to my feet from the bench. Retwining our fingers into a more comfortable position, I smiled up at the 6'5 giant standing next to me.
"Thank you for bringing me here tonight, Samuel. I really aprreciate this." I stood on my tiptoes, getting just enough leverage to get my short stature up to kiss his soft pale cheek. "This park has a beautiful view of the sunset, and moon-rise. I enjoyed watching both, very much."
The light-haired, green-eyed beauty smiled back at me, turning his head and lowering it slightly, pressing his lips against mine in a soft, feather light kiss. "Only the best, for my best." Samuel said softly.
"Cheesy, but ever so romantic." I commented, lowering my self back down onto flat feet, tugging his hand behind me, in the general direction of our apartment.
~
The girls blue-grey eyes watered as she looked over the neatly scripted notes, painful memories being brought up and rehashed, as she reread the fading papers. The graying papers were smuged with water marks from tears, smudging out the ink in some spots. The smudges didn't matter though, as she had memoriesed most of the notes word for word.
~
My eyes teared up as he broke the terrible news. A shocked, and strangled cry sounding as if from a distance, but in reality was escaping my own throat. "How long?" I questioned a bitter tone rising in my voice. "How long have you known?"
"A little over a month." Samuel said softly, his usually telling eyes bleak and emotionless. "I didn't want to tell you and ruin your birthweek, when I first found out. Then I kept putting it off because I didn't want to hurt you. I love you Kass, I didn't want you to worry."
"You didn't want me to worry?" I cried. "He didn't want me to worry, you hear that? Yeah, me too." I paused for a moment, wiping away the now streaming tears. "Yeah I agree, the worrying excuse is bullshit Samuel. I want to worry even more now, because you're just going to get worse!"
"Kassandra, stop please, listen to me..." His soft voice rose cracking slightly. "I love you, I've always loved you, and I will always love you. Trust me, please, you finding out this way was not what I wanted. I want you to forget wat the doctors say and forget that I've made you angry. I want you to make the most of what we have left, okay, Kass?"
I sobbed quietly, latching myself onto Samuel. "I don't want to lose you, Sam." My voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
"I know, babygirl, I know." Sam wrapped his arms tightly around me, soothingly rubbing my spine.
~
She sifted through the notes, getting ready to place them back into the bluging blue envelope. Her usually neatly smoothed black hair was disheveled and thrown into a messy bun atop her heard. The light flawless make-up she usually had perfected had been ran down her cheeks, making ugly black lines down her face.
She set the notes on the desk, standing up and straightening our her thigh-length black dress, yawning quietly to herself. She made her way to the small kichenette in her apartment. Opening all the cupboards nothing screamed dinner at her. There was a box of old poptarts, and a couple cans of soup laying around. The same went for when she looked in the refridgerator, finding nothing but a probably moldy yogurt and water. Shaking her head sadly she laughed bitterly.
Making her way out of the kitchen, she went towards the little adjacent livingroom, her eye catching the mussed-up appearence she was upholding, in the little wall mirror. Everything from the messy hair to the wrinkled black and white embrioded dress.
In the livingroom, she sat herself down on the couch, barely making a dip in the coushioning. She stared off into space for a few minutes, enjoying the somewhat peaceful silence. Finally,shaking her head and breaking her stare she glaced down, looking for the tv remote, only to come face to face with a blue envelope, signed with a single capital k and a heart.
Her eyes glazed over as the envelope stared back at her, her breathing becomeing labored and intensified. Pushing herself off of the couch, she sat on the floor infront of the coffee table, holding the envelope in her hand. Carefully she teared it open, setting the envelope off the the side, and unfolding the messy pages of papers. The papers were slighty folded in other spots other than where they had been folded to be placed into the envelope giving them a slightly older feel. She blinked back tears, terrified of reading these last pages, knowing it would finally be the end. Giving up her resolve, she starts the letter, smiling at the familiar, messy scrawl.
Kass,
Oh, lovely Kass. Kassandra, Kassie. Babygirl. I suppose if youre reading this I have finally gone, put out of my misery. Don't worry, babygirl. I'm better now. It doesn't hurt any more okay? So, don't fret over me, we'll meet again one day. I really hope you're okay and not crying. It's okay to miss me, but I'm not gone, I'll aways be watching over you. You were my angel now I am yours. Don't ever forget me... If you do I'll come back and haunt your ass-
She paused for a moment as chuckling at Sam's attempt to make her laugh even though he couldn't enjoy the moment too.
I know losing me is exceptionally hard, but you have to move on, and find somebody else to love. If I was the only one out there for you, I wouldn't have sccumbed to this stupid cancer. It would have been treated and we would have lived happily ever after. So, in other words, move on, because theres another fish in the sea with your name tattooed all over his heart. I can feel my time grow shorter as i write you. I can feel myself grow weaker and weaker as the days go on. I thought to write this in advance, so it was still legible. I guess this is my final goodbye. I sincerley love you. Be good, and stay happy.
Love you,
Samuel.
She sobbed a quiet invoulantary sob, knowing it really was his final goodbye, their last I love you. Her tears dripped down, slowly off of her nose, blotting onto the paper, and smearing the ink. Kassandra wiped at the tears, setting the papers down on the table, and resting her head next to them, closing her eyes to just hear the silence growing through out the apartment. The dull silence slowly lulled her into a light sleep, possibly one of the most peaceful rests she has ever had, knowing that someone was out there definately watching over her.