My Father, My Brother

Dinner that night was awkward. All the guys found out about the wedding plans and nobody knew what to say to them, or me. I hadn't spoken to Gerard or Frank since they both guiltily returned to the bus. Mikey had kept his word and taken them both to one side to talk to them, but I don't know what was said. I sat between Mikey and Ray, not wanting to be near my dads in case I blurted out something I would later regret saying. Bob had gone and gotten us all a takeaway and brought it back to the bus for us, so we were all sitting around the table eating it. I sat with the rats on my lap and kept passing them bits of the salad Ray had donated from his meal, since I got pizza and didn't want to give them fatty food, although I did slip them a few tiny pieces of the crust.

"So... Everyone all pumped up for tonight?" Bob grinned, and I admired his attempt at small talk, since nobody had spoken for ages.

"Hells yeah I am! Apparently loads of fans camped out overnight just to get to the front today. Man this crowd is going to be on fire!" Frank enthused.

"Really? On the sidewalk!?"

"Yeah! Apparently the cops had to put out a road block cause there was so many campers. We're definately gonna have to go out and meet some fans afterwards, we owe them man." Everyone agreed and the atmosphere relaxed a lot more while everyone started up with idle chatter, although I remained quiet since nobody was speaking directly to me. Until Frank finally made an attempt to talk to me.

"You watching the show tonight El?" He asked lightly, filling his mouth with food as soon as he'd spoken.

"Nah, I'll stay in the bus tonight, get a bit of my reading work done."

"You're not staying in the bus on your own! There could be any kind of idiot out here! You can hang backstage where you're safe." Gerard piped up protectively. The first time he'd spoken to me since this morning.

"But Gerard - "

"No buts. I can't keep an eye on you if you're here." I sighed and nodded, not trusting myself to argue back.

"Your rats can stay here too. We're not risking another incident like Mikey's wedding." I bit my lip to prevent myself getting bratty about it and settled with just nodding again, running my hands through Luka's curly black fur while he nibbled a bit of bread in my lap. Puzzle had curled up on the seat between my legs to have a post dinner nap, his little pink ear twitching occasionally while he dreamed.

"The loud music would scare them anyway." I muttered, almost to myself.

*Time Elapse*

"Let me hear you mother fuckers scream!" Gerard screamed into the microphone. A crowd of twelve thousand screamed impossibly loud and I sighed, closing my book and giving up on reading while it was so damn noisy. I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to stay in the bus. There was nobody out there. They were all in here screaming their proclaimations of love for my fathers and their friends. I walked to the side of the stage where I was still out of sight and smiled to myself. It was a while until the first set finished, I had a bit of time... I could just go to the bus, read a couple of chapters and come back before this set finished... I looked around carefully, knowing Lindsey and her guys were in the dressing rooms just down the hall, before creeping to the back door that led me to the car park. My hand had just touched the handle when a cold hand touched my shoulder. I gasped and spun around.

"Where do you think you're going young lady?" Jimmy asked, cocking his eyebrow at me. I looked away sheepishly and shrugged.

"Just wanted to... get some air." He smiled knowingly and led me to the dressing rooms, his hand on the top of my back between my shoulder blades. Lindsey smiled at me when we went in, her eyes flickered to the book under my arm and she winked at me. I leaned against the dressing table closest to her.

"Are you feeling any better tonight honey?" Lindsey asked me, touching my arm affectionately. I cringed a little, still very aware that she is also my teacher. I nodded slowly.

"A little, now that I've had a bit of time to take it in. I'll just have to accept it I guess." I stared at the engagement ring on her finger. I sighed, accepting that I wont always be the only girl in Gerard's life, and possibly no longer that important to him.

"Well don't worry sweetie, I wont be making you call me mom or anything." I actually sighed in relief, since that was one of my genuine fears.

"Are things still gonna be normal in school?" I asked her, wondering if I'd still need to call her Miss Ballato, or Mrs Way in the near future.

"Well you'll still have to call me what everyone else calls me around the other students, but if there's nobody around you can still call me Lindsey. No slacking off though in classes. I won't go easy on you just cause you'll be my step daughter." She winked at me playfully and I genuinely smiled at her, happy she at least had a sense of humor about the whole situation.

"You guys did great tonight by the way. The crowd really seemed to love it." I smiled at the band in the room.

"Thank you Ellie, we tried our best." Kitty grinned at me from one of the couches.

"Well it really paid off. Are you going out to meet the fans with my dads and the boys after the show?"

"Yeah we'll go. Will someone be here to watch you? Gerard said you can't go out with them or something." Jimmy said, looking confused.

"Yeah the media isn't allowed to know about Gerard adopting me. For my own protection apparently, but I'll be fine in here." The band glanced at each other and I suddenly felt a little awkward, but after a few seconds a very hyper Frank came bounding in, grinning.

"Man the crowd is on fire tonight! We have half an hour break before going back on so Ellie, can you do me a massive favour?" I nodded at him just as the rest of the guys came in high fiving and Gerard went to kiss Lindsey on the lips. I saw a very slight frown form on Frank's face but it was gone almost as quick as it came.

"I want you to run out to the concession stand, and give this to the guy behind the drinks stall. You don't need to queue just give him it. He'll give you what we want and then I want you to come straight. Back. Here. Understand?" I nodded again as he gave me a little white ticket. I shoved it safely in my pocket while Frank hung a backstage pass around my neck so I could get back in. I ran out and snuck out into the arena and casually joined the crowd, pleased I'd managed to avoid being noticed yet again. I did as I was told and gave the guy the ticket, and he gave me a bag with ten bottles in. I returned back to the dressing room within ten minutes. All that was in the bag was bottles of water for everyone. Frank tossed one to me and I caught it one handed and sat on the threadbare couch the dressing rooms provided, beside a very sweaty Bob. They all drank most of their water, leaving about a quarter for after the show and left them in a row on one of the tables while they all got ready to get back out there. We all went back stage to watch them on and Gerard peaked around the side of the stage, looking into the arena.

"The crowd's coming back in guys, you all ready?" He grinned at Frank, Mikey, Ray and Bob. They all reflected his excited look and they all high fived before heading on to set up their instruments again. As soon as they walked on, Bob leading the way, the crowd screamed. I smiled to myself, feeling the vibe off of the audience and decided to watch the rest of the show from the side of the stage where I couldn't be seen. I sang along with Gerard, tapping my foot in time while I leaned against the wall. Lindsey came up behind me and put her arm around my shoulders, singing along as well. I tensed up a little, still adjusting to acting casual around my teacher, but I relaxed soon enough.

I watched the guys jumping around, especially Frank who just couldn't keep still while he was on stage. They were dripping with sweat. I knew their marching band costumes would be soaked. I grimmaced at the thought of how they would smell if I didn't make them shower tonight, which they wouldn't unless I made them. When Gerard was about to sing 'Cancer', one of the songs from the new album The Black Parade, the guys all came off stage and it went dark. Gerard stood with me until the stage had filled with smoke from the machines, then he and Ray went back on, a single spotlight behind him so the crowd only saw his silhouette. Ray stood in the darkness so he couldn't be seen while he provided Gerard with the music while he began the song. I leaned out slightly, just enough to see the thousands of lighters and cell phone lights swaying too and fro in time with the music. It was an emotional sight, to match an emotional song. Lindsey pulled me back gently, just in case I was spotted, although that was near impossible in the darkness of the stage, since Ray couldn't be seen and he was only a few metres away from Gerard who stood in the centre.

Frank sang along quietly behind me, his arms wrapped losely around my shoulders. I rested my hands on his arms and leaned back against him, only caring a little about the fact that he was so wet it was making my shirt damp.

"Okay guys, we're up." Bob said as Ray played the final few chords for Cancer. They went back out on stage and took their places for the next song, the crowd screaming again. I shook my head and went to sit down, my favourite part of the show now over. I wondered how many kids would love to be in my position. Adopted by Gerard and Frank, taught by Lyn-Z Ballato, getting a free backstage pass to every show and being allowed to take some tours with them. I spent a few minutes appreciating how lucky I was. I thought back to my fourteenth birthday a few months back, when Gerard wrote in my card 'To the best, and most beautiful daughter/little sister a guy could ever ask for.' I often forgot that Gerard was only sixteen years older than me, as I did see him as more of a dad than an older brother, though he had his moments. I got lost in my thoughts until the end of the set a little while later. Franks bounding backstage brought me back to the present.

"Smelly Ellieeeee!" He cried with a huge grin on his face.

"Did you see that!? We absolutely rocked it tonight! It went great. Definately the best show we've done in a while!" Mikey cried enthusiastically, following Frank over to me. The rest of the guys followed suit, patting each other on the back, high fiving and hugging. I stood up to hug and congratulate them all on an awesome show. Gerard threw his arm around my shoulders after I'd gone and collected their bottles of water for them. They all finished off the bottles and tossed them into the garbage can in the corner of the room.

"Let's go get dried off and changed guys and we'll go meet some of the kids. We'll go out on our way back to the bus. Ellie, get your band shirt on and your backstage pass. You're our lucky competition winner for the night." Gerard smiled at me. I forced a smile back and went to fetch my 'costume' as we liked to call it. I sometimes wished Gerard would introduce me as his daughter, just so I didn't have to lie to so many people who'd be so jealous of me either way. I came back with my new Black Parade Tee on over my white vest and the backstage pass around my neck. Gerard gave me his big sunnies to help hide my face, while Frank tied and pinned my hair up, and put a beanie over it to help hide me from the cameras. I checked myself over in the mirror to see if I could be recognisable, which I wasn't, then we all headed out. I wasn't to strike up conversations with the fans, just wave and smile if I was acknowledged, say 'hi' or something if someone spoke to me. I obviously wasn't allowed to tell them my real name either.

Hundreds of screaming teenagers greeted us as we stepped outside. I was put roughly in the middle of both bands as MSI led the way out.

"Gerard! Gerard I love you! Please! Let me have your babies!" I looked away and laughed out loud and I know for a fact almost everyone else wanted to. The lengths some fans would go to get attention never failed to shock me a little. Everyone posed for photographs and signed tons of autographs while I stood with the security guard that escorted them back to the busses.

"Hey kid! Who are you?" One of the fans asked me. She was around my age, maybe a year or so older.

"My name's Katie Fenwick." I replied, lying through my teeth.

"You get to hang with the band!?" She asked, the jealousy evident. I felt almost sorry for her, feeling a little guilty that I had such luck.

"Yeah I won a competition to meet them." I grinned, forcing myself to look almost beside myself with excitement.

"You're so lucky!"

"I know right!? I couldn't believe it. I almost fainted when I met them!"

"I don't blame you! Isn't Frank just the hottest!?" Ew, cringe.

"Uh, yeah! Totally!" Saved by Lindsey, she came and rested her hand on my shoulder, guiding me further towards the bus, stopping so she could sign a few autographs and pose for a few pictures with fans. It took about an hour for us to finally get to the bus, and I could tell by Gerard's face that he felt bad about the fans who didn't get a chance to get a picture or an autograph. I jumped on the bus first, getting myself out of the public eye while they stayed a couple more minutes to say their goodbyes and thank everyone for coming to talk to them.

Once everyone was back on board, showered, and ready for bed, Ray made everyone hot chocolate to settle down with and get over the post-show euphoria. Everyone was still a little shell shocked. I curled up on the couch that went around the dining table with Puzzle and Luka beside me, running over me and the couch. Mikey sat with me, occasionally tickling one of the rats if they went close to him.

"I can't get over how fucking amazing that show was!" Frank enthused, getting a light slap around the head from Gerard for swearing in front of me.

"Gee she's fourteen, she's old enough to hear it now, as long as she doesn't repeat it." He raised his eyebrows at me and I grinned back at him. I lightly pushed Puzzle away from me as he nibbled the locket around my neck. It was the locket Gerard had bought me for my eighth birthday when I was back at the orphanage. He was persistant so I picked him up and sat him on my shoulder, where he nibbled happily at my ear lobe.

"Come on then little loser, bed time." Frank smiled at me, getting up off his spot where he was laying on the floor to put his empty mug in the sink. I picked both my boys up and got them fed, watered and settled in their cage before I followed Frank into the bunk room that I shared with Gerard and Mikey. (Although more often than not Frank came in too due to Bob's snoring.) I jumped up into my bunk above Gerard's and wriggled down under the covers. Frank tucked me in and kissed my forehead.

"Did you have a good night tonight honey?" He asked, leaning on his elbow on my bed.

"Yeah you guys did great! But dad... Why is nobody allowed to know who I am?" Frank sighed and messed with a strand of his hair.

"We've told you this El. If people knew who you were, the press would never leave you alone when you go out. You wouldn't know who was your real friend, and who was using you to get to us. It's just safer for you this way." I nodded understandingly and lay down, snuggling up against my pillow.

"Sweet dreams Ellie baby. We'll all be going to bed soon, once we've all got our hearing back." He grinned, and I smiled back at him, then yawned. He stroked my hair softly and gave my head one last kiss before bidding me goodnight and leaving the room, keeping my door open very slightly. I smiled to myself before drifting off into a nice, peaceful sleep.