My Father, My Brother

I finally gave up on getting to sleep and got myself slowly out of bed, trying my best not to disturb Frank who was lying behind me, breathing deeply. He didn't even stir as I lowered myself to the ground and landed on my bare feet silently. I quietly pulled on Frank's hoodie and crept out of the bunk room and into the kitchen area, filling the kettle up and waiting for it to boil while I prepared myself a coffee. I looked out of the bus window that was steamed up due to the boiling kettle. Once I had my coffee I went and sat on the couch beside the rat cage, watching my boys sleeping together peacefully. I glanced at the time on my cell phone that I had stashed in the hoodie pocket and cringed. It was only four thirty in the morning. Curling up on the sofa, I switched the T.V and sighed exasperatedly. I Don't Love You was playing on Kerrang. I couldn't even get away from them on here. I already guessed that Gerard had written this song with Frank in mind when he found out about the affair. I wanted to throw my coffee at the TV, but I didn't.

A little while later, I heard a groan and shuffling in the bunk rooms, and I knew who was about to appear. I was wrong, it was Frank. His eyes weren't even really open and he only had on boxers and pyjama pants as he made himself a coffee and came and laid on the floor in front of me. I had an amused smile on my face as I watched him cling to his mug like it was his life support.

"You're up early." I said quietly, still aware that it was barely morning yet. He looked up at me with tired eyes, lined by faint purple rings. I knew then that he'd heard the same thumps and groans coming from Gerard's bunk that I did last night.

"Couldn't sleep. Then when I did, I had nightmares. I didn't hear you get up, but I guessed you had similar troubles when I woke up and you'd gone." His voice was groggy and thick from sleep. I felt so sorry for him.

"Yeah it was a little... um... loud, last night." I was so hesitant about admitting why I couldn't fall asleep, but when I did, he just stared at the bus ceiling and nodded slowly, taking another careful sip of coffee.

"So why'd you disappear yesterday? You didn't look to happy to be around." He glanced up and me but I avoided his eye.

"Because I thought the whole thing was ridiculous. He's only been dating her a few months and he's already married her? It's a joke. Plus he only asked her to marry him the day we found out you were engaged. It's like he's only marrying for the sake of it, and that really annoyed me. You didn't seem much happier to be there than I did. I saw you leaning against the wall looking moody." He cracked a small smile, then yawned.

"I tried to talk to him before he got married. Tried telling him he was making a huge mistake. Of course he didn't listen and went right ahead and married her anyway."

"What did he say to that?" I asked, putting my empty coffee cup on the floor.

"That I was being hypocritical cause I was already married and that it was nothing to do with me. Then I made a mistake, and he walked right out and got married."

"You made a mistake? What did you do Frankie?" He shook his head slowly then made eye contact with me. I gave him a warning look. He sighed as though resigning.

"I told him to kiss me, then tell me he didn't want us to be together. He did both." I stared at him for a moment, taking in what he said, before exploding in quiet whispers.

"You told him to kiss you!? And he did!? Frankie you're married!"

"I know that! It was just my last shot." He swallowed and I knew he was getting emotional, so I dropped that subject.

"So how was the end of the wedding? I walked out as soon as everyone clapped."

"Yeah I noticed. Not a lot happened, mostly photos and people clapping Gerard on the back, hugging Lindsey. I left not long after you. I felt a bit... faint... Do you think he's happy?" He looked up at me from the floor. I though for a moment before answering. Wondering whether to side with Frank and lie, or just be honest. My morals won.

"He seems to be. They get on great and they're always loved up together and stuff." Frank nodded slowly again.

"I still think he's made a terrible mistake."

"You know, he can hear you." A sarcastic voice said quietly from the doorway. Both Frank and I looked up at him guiltily.

"How much did you hear?" Frank asked him, rolling over onto his stomach so he wasn't looking up at im upside down.

"Enough to find out my own daughter walked out of my wedding early." He said without looking at me. I gulped guiltily. He, like Frank, was shirtless, but there was no trace of boxers under his pyjama pants. I suddered to myself, and I'm almost certain Frank noticed cause he suddenly avoided Gerard's eye. Gerard made himself a coffee and sat beside me on the couch. I glanced at the time again. Five fifteen AM. The sun wouldn't be up for a few hours yet.

"Want one?" Gerard offered Frank a cigarette as he lit up. Frank accepted and sat up while Gerard held the lighter for him. They exhaled in syncronisation.

"So are either of you going to tell me why you boycotted the end of my wedding?" Gerard asked finally, looking at the burning end of his cigarette and blowing smoke at it.

"You already knew how I felt about it." Frank spoke up, saving me the job of being the one to answer such an awkward question.

"Why are you both so against this? Is it too much to ask to just move on and be happy?" Gerard asked quietly, looking Frank in the eye. I felt like I shouldn't have been here, although the question was aimed at both of us.

"We just think it's too fast Gerard." I finally spoke up quietly.

"Well I'm sorry, but anyone who has a problem with it is just going to have to deal with it."

"We're not saying we have a problem with it Gerard, we just think it's too soon. We want you to be sure this is what you really want."

"Well, you know what I don't want." Gerard mumbled, and I saw the hurt flash across Frank's face. I had to resist the urge to get up and sit with Frank and hug him, he suddenly looked so vulnerable and sad. He looked down and took a long drag on his cigarette, holding it for a few seconds before he slowly let it out. I could tell that Gerard had just really hit a nerve.

"Don't you two have a live interview today?" I asked weakly, in an attempt to change the subject. They both nodded.

"Can I watch it?" They both looked at each other with thoughtful expressions. Frank half shrugged.

"It can't hurt."

"Well okay, but only if you watch it with one of the guys. I'll make sure they agree to turn it off if it gets a little... inappropriate." I accepted Gerard's terms and conditions and he smiled at me. I smiled back shyly, still feeling a bit guilty about him having overheard mine and Frank's conversation.

*Time Elapse*

"Okay everyone we have a couple of very special guests today. Give it up for Gerard Way and Frank Iero, or My Chemical Romance!" The interviewer said, smiling at the camera. The audience screamed and clapped and the camera turned to Gerard and Frank, who were smiling and saving at the camera and the audience. Mikey and Ray sat with me on the couch and got comfy as the interview started.

"So guys how's the tour going so far? The fans all treatin' you guys well?" The interviewer asked once the audience had settled down. Gerard spoke first.

"Yeah man the tours going awesome! The audiences have been great and really supportive and everyone's still treating us like family." He passed the microphone to Frank.

"So the new album has gone really well for you guys huh?"

"Yeah the response has been really good. Everyone seems to love it. The album hasn't been out too long but the kids sing along with all the songs during our shows and it's really cool to see so many people getting into our music, even though we've changed it up a bit."

"Yeah I noticed that the new album isn't as, shall we say, dark as the last two. What made you change the style?" Frank handed the mic to Gerard.

"Well as we're growing as people, the band's growing up too so we're trying to show people how we're changing. Playing as The Black Parade gives us a chance to step back and play as these big rockstars before we come back as ourselves to play the older stuff and it's really fun to be playing two different bands. It's very fun, very tongue in cheek." Frank nodded with a small smile on his face. He looked into the camera and subtly winked.

"That was definately aimed at you Ellie." Ray smiled and nudged me lightly.

"You guys seem to have some really awesome fans, you seem to treat them really well too, like letting them hang backstage with you guys. You were seen walking into a venue with a teenage girl a while back, was she a fan who you guys knew personally? Or was she a relative even cause you guys seemed to be really looking after her." Everyone visably froze, including Frank and Gerard. I held my breath.

"Maybe we should turn it over now." Mikey said, reaching for the clicker. I grabbed it before he had a chance and clutched it to my chest.

"If I've been brought into this, I have to see it through!" I cried. Nobody spoke for a good five seconds and I could see them both working out stories in their head.

"We set up a competition for our fans via email a while back, to the kids who had signed up on our website. The winner got picked up in our bus and was given a ride to the venue, saw the show for free and got to hang backstage then we took them home again after in the bus. Ellie was our competition winner. If you're watching this Ellie, this is a shoutout!" Frank said, looking directly into the camera. Mikey, Ray and I were still frozen, hoping the interviewer would buy it. Also half in shock that they'd used my real name.

"Wow so you guys are really great with your fans. That was one lucky kid! I heard you guys are married now! As is Mikey. That's really big news! Do you guys plan on having kids? Judging by the way you treat your fans I'd bet you'd make amazing dads!" We all heaved sighs of relief, happy he'd bought it. I loosened my vice like grip on the clicker. Frank passed the mic back to Gerard.

"Yeah! We got married recently to amazing girls. It's a huge step yanno, to make that commitment to spending your life with someone. It's a huge deal for both of us." The mic went back to Frank.

"Yeah it's an amazing feeling to know there's always someone there. Yanno the band and just life in general has it's ups and downs but when you get married you're basically saying you'll get through all this shit together and it's a really great feeling to know there's always someone who's got your back." Frank added. It was like they were trying to out do each other.

"I bet this is gonna be a big disappointment to the 'Frerard' fans out there." The interviewer laughed. Every girl in the audience screamed. Frank and Gerard both laughed but you could tell they were a little uncomfortable.

"Whoever came up with 'Frerard' is the one to blame for any disappointment our hetero marriages cause. Frerard never was, never is, and never will be. Our stage kisses and stuff are only for the fans entertainment, we don't go off stage and make out or anything." Gerard smiled, scratching his cheek lightly. I knew hen was feeling a little nervous. The interviewer laughed and Gerard handed the mic back to Frank. I saw their hands touch for a second and Gerard pulled away like he'd just been shocked. Frank glanced at him momentarily.

"So you wouldn't date each other?" The interviewer teased. They both grinned.

"No we wouldn't." Gerard answered a little too quickly.

"I'd totally date Gerard." Frank shrugged with a grin. Another scream session from the audience. Gerard laughed and patted Frank's leg playfully. I liked seeing them like this.

"Well it all comes out now! So what's your plans for the future guys? Any kids planned or any other albums?"

"Well we definately plan to make another album eventually, once The Black Parade runs it's course, but I don't see any kids on the horizon just yet." Frank said, handing the mic back to Gerard.

"Yeah if it happens it happens. I certainly wouldn't complain about having a kid, being a dad would be awesome but it's a huge commitment so it would take a lot of thought before we become parents."

"Well I'm afraid that's all we have time for. Thanks so much for coming to talk to us guys."

"It's been our pleasure."

"Well we hope to see you guys on the show again and all the best for the future." We turned off the TV at that point and sat back to think about what we'd seen and heard. Everything that nobody wanted to talk about had been brought up in that interview, and it had set us all back a few paces.