My Father, My Brother

*Time Elapse - Gerard's POV*

"Honey, could you just..." Lindsey asked, looking apologetic. I smiled at her and leaned forward, handing her the hot drink on the coffee table. As she took it in her hand, I kissed her and rest my own warm hand on her swollen stomach.

"Not long now baby." She whispered, putting her hand on top of mine. I grinned excitedly up at her.

"Have we got everything we need for the nursery?" I asked, running a checklist in my mind. She laughed and shook her head at me.

"You've asked me that every day for the past week Gerard! Yes we have everything. The wooden sleigh crib, dresser drawers, toys, stuffed animals, clothes, changing table, stroller, diaper bag, diapers, pacifiers, bottles, baby monitors... Is that it?"

"I think so. We also have blankets, pillows, car seat and baby bath stuff. I think we've done well, right? We're gonna be good parents?"

"You sound unsure honey. You're going to be a fantastic father." I felt myself blush slightly and I sat a little closer to her, wrapping my arm around her. I tilted her chin up a little with my finger, Like I did with Frankie at his party, and kissed her.

"As you're going to be a wonderful mother. You think Ellie will be a good sister?" She smiled up at me.

"She'll be a great sister I'm sure. Our little one is going to have a very positive role model." I leaned down and kissed her belly, keeping my hands against it to feel my child kick my hand. I laughed with amazement when I felt it.

"So it's your birthday next week baby. What do you feel like doing?" She asked me, smiling at my reaction to the babies kick.

"I dunno. We could invite the guys out here, it's plenty big enough. Get my parents out. Maybe we could even let Ellie invite Kayleigh and Kieran out here."

"We could just fly down to Jersey, saves everyone else the travelling." She suggested, half shrugging. I stared at her incredilously.

"Not in your condition we can't!"

"It's still safe to fly Gee. I'll be fine."

"I don't know Lindsey... I don't want to risk any damages. To you or the baby."

"We'll be fine. Go give everyone a call and I'll book the flights. Could you just..." I stood and helped her stand up gently. She kissed my cheek in gratitude and made her way slowly to the laptop that was sitting at our kitchen table. I sighed watching after her, feeling the love swell within me. Once she was out of sight, I looked around for my cell phone, finding it on the easel in our studio. I decided to call Frank first, while Lindsey was out of ear shot. I'd only spoken to him four times since the party, and none of those times had been particularly comfortable.

"Hey Frank. How you doing?" I said keeping my tone light.

"Wow, hey Gee. I'm fine, what's up man? You looking forward to your birthday. The big three two?" I heard the laughter in his voice and relaxed.

"Thanks for reminding me about that. Yeah I am actually. Listen man, Lindsey suggested we fly back to New Jersey for the occasion. Maybe hire a place and make a thing of it. You up for it?"

"Hell yeah I'm up for it! You know me bro, always about the parties."

"Yeah, so I recall." Shit, I didn't mean to say that. I'm sure he was currently remembering the same thing I was. I let out a silent sigh of relief when I heard him laugh softly to himself.

"Yeah I'm glad you do. I'm definately game. Ellie will be there right?"

"Of course Ellie will be there! I wouldn't leave her in L.A on her own Frankie." He laughed along with me.

"Good. So when are you and the missus flying over? How's she doing by the way? The pregnancy going well?"

"We're planning on coming out early on the Wednesday. Ellie will need to take a few days off school, but I'm sure they'll understand. We'll use most of Wednesday and Thursday to set the place up, wherever Linds decides to book. We'll ask my mom and dad to help us with catering and stuff, and then we'll hopefully have the actual party on the Friday. Oh, and Lindsey is doing great, the baby is fine and all is well." I took a deep breath after saying all that and Frank laughed.

"I'm glad things are going good for you Gee..." He sounded distant all of a sudden. I looked over my shoulder to make sure Lindsey wasn't around yet. She wasn't.

"Is everything alright Frank? Do you regret what happened?"

"No... I don't. I'm glad it did. I feel as though I forced it on you though. I'm sorry."

"Did it sound like I was complaining?" The smile had returned to his voice as he answered.

"No, it didn't."

"Exactly. So stop whining and get your ass ready for my party."

"You got yourself a deal Way. Want me to give anyone a call to make your job easier?"

"Uhm... You could give Bob and Ray a call for me? While I call my Mom and Mikey?"

"Sure no problem. I'll see you next week Gee..."

"Yeah Frankie. I'll see you then." There was a moments silence before I hung up. I gave myself a minute before calling my mom and pretty much repeated the party plans. She was all for it and even offered to help with the catering before I had the chance to ask her. My mum was totally up for it too, she even offered to let us stay at their house in the rooms that used to belong to Mikey and I. A few minutes after hanging up on her, Frank called me back.

"Bob and Ray are totally psyched! This is gonna be awesome! What's happening about music and shit?"

"We could just bring a load of CD's and hire out a deck or something."

"Sounds awesome."

Lindsey came waddling back in a few minutes after that call ended and she wrapped her arms around my waist the best she could around her stomach.

"Our flights are booked. We fly at Eleven AM next Wednesday. You looking forward to seeing your family again?"

"I really am! Seeing the guys will be awesome too!"

"Hey guys it's okay the party can start cause I am home!" A sarcastic voice called from the front door just as I was about to kiss Lindsey. I sighed with a smile and looked up at the archway into the living room where Ellie was just coming in.

"Hi Sunshine how was school?" I asked her,helping Lindsey to sit down.

"School was fine. I might have been invited to stay at Amy's on friday. If I'm allowed of course. I'll even get the bus home cause I know you can't pick me up." She flashed me that perfectly angelic smile that got me every time.

"Who's Amy?"

"The friend I made at school. Among a couple of others."

"Okay, you can go. We're flying back out to New Jersey by the way!" I called after her as she made her way into the kitchen.

"We are!? We're going home!?" Her head peeked around the archway again, a huge grin on her face.

"Well we're staying with grandpa and grandma. It's for my birthday so you'll miss three days of school I'm afraid."

"Oh how will I survive?" She said dramatically as she walked away again. I hummed a small laugh after her but didn't say anything back.

*Ellie's POV*

I danced energetically around the kitchen. My own personal celebration. I loved going home. I missed my grandparents, I missed my dad, I missed my family of crazy band members and I missed my friends. I continued to dance as I swung my backpack onto the wooden kitchen table and sat at a chair to start my math homework. Never had I felt this happy doing math homework. Ever.

*Time Elapse - That Friday*

"Thank's so much for the invite Amy. It's been... well, too long since I had a night at a friends house." I smiled at her as we stepped into her average sized house.

"No need to thank me. The pleasure is mine." She offered me a drink and tossed me a Red Devil energy drink when I accepted. I cracked it open and took a sip.

"So you're missing some school next week?" She asked, looking a little disappointed.

"Yeah I'm afraid so. It's my dad's birthday so we're flying home for the occasion so we can be with the rest of our family and friends."

"If all you're friends and family are there. Why are you so far out here?" She asked, flicking her curly red hair over her shoulder.

"My dads an artist. He said there are more opportunities and studios out here to help him along."

"I see..." The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. It was nice being our of the house, and Amy's big family of two older brothers, an older sister and both parents made me feel welcome. Her mom was an excellent cook and prepared a home cooked meal for our dinner, which was totally nice of her. Her eldest brother loaned us a horror DVD for the evening, and we stayed up watching that. It wasn't even that scary, Frank had shown me much worse, but Amy obviously wasn't really having any of it. We shared her double bed, which was a little awkward as we weren't that close, but it was a fun night, and I took the bus home the following morning, making up obvious lies as to why I had to deny her mom's offer of a ride home.

Gerard wasn't in when I got home, and Lindsey was napping in their room, so I quietly made my way into the lounge and to the rattie cage where my old men were curled up in their hammock.

"Hey guys. How are you both doing?" I smiled, dropping my bag from my shoulder and onto the floor beside the cage. Puzzle looked up at me almost sadly, and let out a pitiful squeek before licking behind Luka's ear, nudging him with his nose. That's when I realised something was wrong. Luka's ear wasn't twitching like it usually did when Puzzle licked him like that. I frowned and opened the cage door. He still didn't move. I stopped for a moment and just watched him... He wasn't breathing...

"Luka... Luka!" I said almost hysterical, but not shouting. I reached in and stroked my finger slowly down his back. He was hard to touch, and cold. He didn't even feel real. Puzzle shuffled away sadly as I picked up his brother. He gave his nose a last lick as a sort of goodbye and squeeked as I moved Luka away, closing the cage and holding him in my arms. I sank down the wall, holding my rat close to my chest. I stared at him silently for a moment before finally breaking. His fur was soon wet with my tears as I held him close and cried.

"Luka.. Please baby, I love you." I whispered into his little ear. I knew it was too late. He was so cold. I lifted my chin up and stroked his furry little face. His eyes were closed and he just looked as though he passed away in his sleep. At least I knew he hadn't suffered. My boy was just old. I looked up as I felt a little tug on my hair. Puzzle had tugged it through the bars of the cage I was leaning against. The sadness in his little dark eyes just made me break down again. I didn't hear the shuffling footstept approach me until a hand touched my knee that was pulled right up to my chest. My head snapped up and I looked into Lindsey's dark, sympathetic eyes.

"Are you okay sweetie?" She asked, crouching down in front of me. I sobbed and held Luka out, showing her.

"Aw honey..." She whispered. Like me, she ran a finger lightly over his fur. "I'm so sorry." She pulled me close and let me cry on her shoulder.

"Don't be too upset Ellie. We'll have a cute little funeral for him out in the backyard. I'm sure we have a little box or something we could put him in." I nodded slowly, forcing myself to calm down and lift my head from her shoulder, where I'd soaked her shirt. She smiled when I apologized for it.

"You should never apologize for crying, or soaking my favourite maternity shirt." She winked at me and I smiled weakly. She stood up with a little difficulty and held her hand out to me, I took it and stood up, still holding Luka close to my chest with my free arm.

"Come on, we'll go find that box. I'm sure there's one in the studio. You want to go look?" I nodded and made my way inside, never letting go of my dead boy. After a while of digging through thick cardboard boxes, I heard Lindsey come in behind me.

"I have this for you. I figured you could wrap him in it, if you want." I looked up at her and frowned. She was holding a little blue blanket in her arms.

"I thought you bought that for the baby." I said thickly since I hadn't spoken since I started crying.

"I did, but we have plenty, and I'm sure this one blanket wouldn't be missed much."

"Thank you..." I said slowly, taking it from her and wrapping Luka in it until we looked warm and comfortable. "I found this box." I showed her the 'just right' sized box under my arm and she smiled, offering to hold it while I placed Luka in it carefully. She helped me seal it up with industrial tape.

"There. He's comfy and safe. We'll wait for Gerard to get home then we'll have him dig a little grave and bury him. That sound okay?" I nodded and she hugged me again while I sniffled pathetically on her shoulder.

"Thank you Lindsey. You don't need this in your condition." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. I'm pregnant not terminally ill. You're my stepdaughter, I'd still do anything for you." She smiled warmly at me and I was genuinely grateful she was around at that moment.

"Hey girls I'm home! What... what's going on?" Gerard asked looking worried as he came into the studio and saw me crying with Lindsey's hand on my shoulder. I pointed to the box and whimpered again.

"What's in that box Ellie?" He asked, taking off his leather jacket and tossing it on the nearest chair.

"Luka is." I said weakly, almost certain I looked as miserable as I felt.

"Aw sugar... Ellie I'm so sorry." He pulled me in and hugged me tight. Breaking me into fresh tears all over again.

"Come on baby, let's go give him an awesome send off." Gerard said, letting me go and going into the kitchen and grabbing the shed keys. I knew he went to get the shovel so Lindsey and I went out to choose the perfect spot, but I pocketed a black sharpie before we did. I chose a spot between two flower pots, putting him slightly closer to the left pot. Gerard came back with the shovel over his shoulder and began digging when I told him where I wanted him putting. Once he'd dug around two feet down, I carefully placed the box in the hole, and took the shovel off Gerard to bury him myself. Lindsey went to the flowerbed we had and picked up one of the decorative rocks we had there. It was quite heavy, but she insisted Gerard didn't have to help her. She placed it over the freshly shifted dirt.

"There you go Ellie sweetie. I think that's a nice little grave. Don't you?" I nodded slowly and knelt down, touching the rock lightly. I pulled the sharpie from my pocked and wrote Luka's name on the rock, also noting his birthday, and the date he died.

"Rest in peace little buddy. I'll look after Puzzle for you." I whispered to the rock before standing up. Lindsey put her arm around my shoulder and Gerard held my hand as we stood there silently for a moment. I said a silent prayer in my head for him, before I sighed and looked up at both adults.

"Come on, let's grab a coffee, I just bought the Starbucks brand." Gerard smiled sympathetically at me. I nodded and followed them both into the kitchen, where Gerard made good on his promise and prepared one delicious cup of coffee for me.