My Father, My Brother

The couch suddenly felt very hard beneath me. The air was thick with tension but clearly Gerard couldn't feel it. I curled up on the couch in an attempt to make myself more comfortable as I awaited Frank's return. I'd been restless all day at school, even Kayleigh, my best friend, noticed there was something wrong, but I hadn't said anything. I mean, come on... you don't want word getting around that one of your parents is cheating on the other, do you?

Gerard was curled up on the other end of the couch with a cup of hot coffee when Frank made his way in and settled in the recliner in the corner of the room. I was sitting awkwardly between them. I could barely breathe from the tension and Frank's uncomfortable shifting in his chair wasn't helping matters. Suddenly, he cleared his throat and my heart stopped.

"Gerard?" He muttered quietly. I didn't want to be here anymore. I stood up and went into the kitchen, closing the door behind me. I pressed my ear to the door and listened carefully. If Frank didn't come clean now, I'd kill him!

"Wonder what's gotten into her."

"I think I know..." I could almost see Gerard lifting an eye brow with interest.

"Oh? What would that be?" He sounded like he already knew, and was interested to hear Frankie come clean.

"You know Gerard... We've been fighting a lot recently, and she's not a kid anymore, she knows something is going on..."

"What is going on? All you do recently is go off to your mom's and we barely see you anymore. She's growing up Frankie, she needs us both."

"I know... I know... But... I'm not going to my moms..."

"Good, so you'll stay at home from now on?"

"No... Gerard I need to tell you something. It's going to hurt you so bad."

"...Frankie?"

"Gerard... I've been seeing someone else... A woman. Ellie saw me getting out of her car last night and I agreed to come clean because the guilt is killing me."

I suddenly felt a tickle on my lip and reached up to find that I'd been biting my lip so hard it had started bleeding. I sucked on my bottom lip and went back to listening.

"You let our child catch you having an affair!?" Way to prioritize dad.

"Gerard I'm so sorry... I never wanted to hurt her. Or you, but Jamia and I are in love and I..."

"Jamia?... Frank... After everything we went through as kids... everything we saw each other through and everything we over came... How could you do this?"

"I'm so sorry..."

"I want you out of my house. Take your dogs and leave."

"Can I say goodbye to Ellie?"

"You better make it quick."

I back hurriedly away from the door, backing myself against the wall and fighting back tears. He was leaving... My dads were separating. I should have stayed quiet. I didn't want this... The door creaked open and Frank peered round. His eyes were swimming with hurt and guilt.

"I'm going away for a while Ellie... I just wanted to say goodbye..." I nodded but didn't dare say anything. His body jerked as if he was about to walk in, but then he turned and walked away, leaving the kitchen door open. Nobody moved and the house was silent for about half an hour until his trunk came banging down the stairs as he dragged it carelessly. Nobody said a word as the door opened, then closed and a car was heard outside... Hers.

I slowly and shakily stood up and stepped into the hallway making my way to the living room. Gerard was stood at the window, his arm above his head as he leaned against the window pane. I just saw the car drive away outside and he rested his head against his arm.

"She's beautiful..." He said softly. He sounded so broken and small. I wanted to run to him, hug him and remind him that he still had me... I couldn't bring myself to move another step. He sighed and turned around to face me. His face was stained with tear tracks that had dried up.

"You're beautiful dad... We don't need him." I muttered quietly.

"I did... You have no idea what Frank and I went through together... Maybe one day you'll know, but for now..." He patted his lap and held his arms out to me. Together we snuggled up on the couch and just cried. I clung to him around his neck and he held me close as we cried together. The house was so silent beneath our tears and it felt almost haunting. I don't remember anything after that, we both fell asleep crying, but we woke up a little while later with him laid behind me and his arms around me, with me laying in front of him. I sniffled a little, stuffy from crying and falling straight asleep. He woke up just a few minutes after me.

"Come on sweetie. We'll go for ice cream and forget that we ever needed the love rat that is Frank Anthony Iero.