Try Being In My Shoes

I sat hunched up on my window ledge once more with my knees hugged into my chest. I watched my feet as I bonced my shoes up and down lightly. I wonder what'd happen if I were to fall?

I sighed heavily feeling myself fall slightly out of balance, but it didn't do much. I soon regained it without even trying. After feeling the stench of bigarette fumes gliding in from under the door I had to open the window. I wonder what Gee gets out of them. Everyone always bangs on about how they're shit for your health and all that crap. Then why does he do it? I don't care anyway.

I thought back on the events of the day as I stared down at the beaten up ridges of my shoes. Ruby seemed really pissed off, but determined for us to be together. Why? If she was genuinly pissed off at the thought of me liking another girl wouldn't she hit me? Slap me in the face and tell me she never wanted to see me again? Why did she want that? God girls confuse me.

I watched as a small, thin leaf drifted lightly through the air and landed in my lap before falling off and gliding to the floor below. The hard concrete. I thought once again about what would happen if I fell from that height. It didn't damage the leaf. It was just another surface, like I was. I got up onto my feet, looking at the ground the whole time.

It was a wonder that I didn't fall off as I reached up and grasped the corner of the white wood. I was obviously too tall to fit in so I was more like balancing on the ledge as half of my body was exposed to the cold breeze.

I was good at keeping my balance, Mom used to warn me not to do this stuff but after a couple of cuts and bruises and not listening she soon lost interest and left me to my own devices. Right now no one was there to help me or even care. Mom was staying at Grandma's again and Gee was staying the night at Tessa's. I stared at the leaf which was brushing against the patio as the wind pushed it along.

I didn't know what to do. the girl of my dreams has come back from New York, but my girlfriend won't even let me talk to her. I had no clue. I wasn't thinking straight, the day had been overwhelming now I hardly even knew my own name. I turned round to face my room but kept my hands on the wood. Do I dump Ruby? Live happily ever after with Beth? Does Beth even want me? So many questions and no answers. Maybe there is an answer..

I pushed my feet over to the drain at the side of my window and pushed myself up onto the roof. I stood on the edge and looked back down at the concrete below me. The leaf was now out of site and all I could see was my back yard. What do I do in times like these. There's nothing to do. My head wasstill totally fucked and I rocked backwards and forward on my heels. What do I do?

Jump Frank.

Just jump...