Concrete Castle

“How did it go?” John asked, brushing aside my hair. “With your father?”

I gave a big sigh, wishing he hadn't started off with this topic. “I guess...as good as I could have expected. He kept talking me in circles and I was getting really upset so I left.”

“What...what did he say?” John asked hesitantly.

“Basically that he hated mom and me, and that's why he did it. He wished I had been born a boy.” I shrugged, trying to pretend that this didn't get to me. I mean, it's shouldn't, right?

My father was a monster. He didn't deserve to get me all worked up.

John wrapped an arm around me, whispering into my hair, “I'm sorry, Daisy.” I guess he could see through my facade. I shouldn't be surprised, he's been able to do that for a while now.

I turned in his arms to bury my face in his chest. He held onto me tighter as I wrapped my arms around him. It felt so good to be enclosed securely in his arms. “Thanks, John...” I trailed off, not really know what to say next.

“Garrett was talking to me earlier--” He looked a little pained, so I stopped that train of thought. “Hey...what's wrong, Johno?” I asked, holding his face.

“Nothing, Daisy.” He smiled at me, and he still looked off.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about it...” I almost felt hurt that he wasn't being honest with me. But, apparently, it's happened before. I really wanted to know what with.

“I know, Devon.” He stroked my hair, and kissed me quickly. “You want to hear something?”

“What?”

“I wrote you a song...”

“A song?” I asked, smiling. “For me?”

“Yeah, for you.” He chuckled at my hopeful face. “Because, and I mean this more than anything, Devon, I love you.”

Since he was being completely serious, my heart started to beat a little faster and butterflies erupted in my stomach. “Do I get to hear this song?”

“Yeah, does Baylee have her guitar here?” He asked nervously.

I quickly got off the couch and into Baylee's room to get her guitar. She barely played it and she only have it because she got it for her sixteenth birthday. I don't even think she actually knows how to play... “Here it is, Johnny.” I said, bouncing as I walked.

No one has ever done something like this for me. I situated myself on the couch cross-legged on the other side of the couch. I watched his profile as he cleared his throat and shifted into a more comfortable position to play the guitar. He looked nervous, and I thought it was rather adorable. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, shifting once more. “I named it Daisy.” John pointed out unnecessarily.

Then he started strumming, and then singing....

“I picked you up, and lifted your wilted your wilted from into the sun.” It was kind of fast, but it fit, in a strange way. Because, even though our relationship went slowly from enemies to semi-friends, it took off pretty quickly from there.

I'll admit, maybe it was a little bit too fast, but I didn't regret a single moment.

“I will wait for you, forever.” John sang, glancing at me. All I could to was try and calm my pounding heart. It was the sweetest thing I had heard. But probably because it was all for me. And me only.

And here I didn't think I could love John anymore than I already did.

“And I wish that there was some way that I could tell you.”

Tell me what?

Suspicion once again crept into my mind, all because of what Garrett had told me. Why would John lie to me, but then again, why would Garrett lie to me?

John's song was right, I was so confused.

It took me a moment to realize the song was finished, and John was staring at me. I snapped out of it, my mouth slipping into an easy smile. It wasn't hard to smile after hearing a song wrote specifically to you.

I slowly crawled the two feet to him and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Johno, that was beautiful.”

“I'm glad you like it, Devon.”

Devon...he called me Devon. He never does that.

“John...” I asked tentatively, “is anything wrong?”

Instead of answering, John turned his face to mine and the words died in my throat as he placed his lips to mine.

There was something strange about the way that he was kissing me. Like...it was permanent and, I don't know...final. It made my heart twist painfully. I tried pulling away, but John wouldn't let me. He held the back of my neck gently, but forcefully, and I couldn't move.

I followed his lead and wrapped my arms around his neck, twisting my fingers in his too long hair. I felt sad for some reason, there was just something about this moment.

Like...by this time tomorrow nothing would be the same.

I'm just overreacting about what Garrett told me. John may be mean sometimes, but I don't believe he is a liar.

He loves me.

Which he restated at he pulled away finally, “I love you, Devon. I love you so much.”

He sounded desperate, and I didn't have the heart to press the issue of him lying to me. I pushed it to the back of my mind as John started to speak again, “I really didn't realize it, but I love you now, and I have for a long time. I wish I could turn back the clock, and love you even longer.”

Wait...this sounded like a goodbye. Suddenly, I felt very scared.

“John?” I asked, voice starting to tremble, “John, what's going on?” He shook his head, closing his eyes as he wrapped me in his arms and held tight. Not sure what was going on, I wrapped my arms around him and held him just as tightly.

“Can I stay here tonight?” John almost pleaded, “And tomorrow, if you want, I will tell you everything.”

“Everything about what, John?” I asked, trying to pull him away, but he wouldn't budge. “John, what's wrong, please tell me? You're freaking me out right now...”

John shook his head, “Tomorrow. I just want one more night with you.” He pulled away to look at me, and I was thrown back by the tears brimming his eyes. I couldn't say anything due to the shock, so I just shook my head and led him back to the bedroom.

And even though it was only getting around eight o'clock at night, we laid together. John didn't try to do anything, and I was too worried to start. He just pulled me to his chest and started stroking my hair, lulling me to sleep with its soothing rhythm.

-John-

I screwed up severely. Devon will never forgive me for this. Garrett was right, I didn't deserve Devon, and I shouldn't have even taken the stupid bet. Devon was the one girl I thought I would never fall in love with in a million years.

She was the exact opposite of the girls I usually went for.

I liked the vulnerable, needy, and easy types. Devon...well, she was definitely not vulnerable or needy, and I had never had more of a problem getting inside a girl's head than I did with Devon.

She would hate me by this time tomorrow. She'd also probably slap me a couple times.

All I could think about was how much I would hurt her when I told her. And it kept me up all night. I didn't sleep a wink.

I could feel her heart beating right in time with mine, and I just wished things could be different. I wish I didn't have to tell her, but Garrett was also right with that...she had a right to know. And I was the only one who could tell her.

Her gentle breath on my neck gave me tiny goosebumps and every once in a while, she would snuggle closer into my chest. I wanted to freeze myself in this moment, wished tomorrow would never happen.

The sun could just stay down, for all I cared.

I kissed her temple as, much to my despair, the sun started rising. As if her internal alarm clock was ringing, Devon started stirring away. “Morning, Johnny.” She mumbled, stretching out across the bed, swirling around all the sweet smells that was Devon.

“Morning, Angel.” I smiled.

“Angel?” She quirked one eyebrow, a smiling trying to break through, “that's a new one.”

“Well, it fits.” I knew that in the end this flattery will get me nowhere, but I just had to. This was the last chance this could happen.

The last time she would wake up in my arms, the last chance I had to be with her like this. She's going to hate me. Her heart will be broken once more, and it will only be my fault. I couldn't blame anyone else but myself.

“Me? An angel?” She asked, giving a laugh as she once again placed herself against my chest, starting my pulse up once again as her arms wound around my bare chest. “I can be very bad.” She said suggestively.

“Oh, really? I will believe that when I see it.” I laughed at her, placing my face in her neck. It was silent as Devon began to wake up fully, yawning against my hair. God, was anything more bittersweet than this moment right here?

“So, about last night...” She trailed off. Even last night, I could tell that she knew something was wrong with me, that she knew something. I know Garrett would never tell her the full story, because he said that was my job, but he definitely told her something.

Even then, she didn't act completely strange around me. A little hesitant, but not angry or anything. Maybe it was a sign, maybe she wouldn't hate me after all.

All that is is wishful thinking. She didn't want to believe I could do something like this because...really, what kind of person would do this to anyone?

A foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroach.

I took a deep breath, sitting up in bed, Devon copied my movement. “John?” Worry tinged her voice.

“I love you, Devon, okay? I'm such a fool for doing this to you.” Was all I said for the longest time. I closed my eyes tightly, holding my head in my hands.

I could feel Devon get off the bed, and then her voice hit my ears with a statement that broke my heart, “What did you lie about, John?” She asked. I did lie to her, everything I had done up until now.

I couldn't speak, my mind was replaying everything.

“Re-remember in California?” I started, to fill the silence, “How you told me about your nightmares?”

“Yeah...” Devon said slowly, calculating the situation and what was going to happen next. But I don't think she could ever guess.

“I meant what I said then, Devon. I want to protect you, and keep you safe.”

“You have, John.” She sat next to me, placing a comforting hand on my back. “I've been really happy with you, John.”

I heaved a sigh, pressing the palm of my hands further into my eyes, maybe I'd rupture my brain or something and die. “When I said it, it was a lie. Me telling you I love you up until last night had been a lie.” And then the lump in my throat stopped me, and Devon's warmth left my side.

“W-what are you saying, John?” She stuttered out after a moment of shocked silence.

“I never intended to hurt you, Devon. I didn't even see myself falling so deeply in love with you...but...”

“But what?” I could hear the anger build up in her voice, then I wondered if it was just to mask her real feelings. Probably not, Devon was usually pretty straightforward with her emotions.

“You were a bet.” I finally got out. “Ken and Baylee challenged me to take you out on dates...and I stupidly fell for it to stroke my own ego.”

A door slammed and Devon was no longer in the room.