Concrete Castle

After I got out of the shower, I went into my room again and locked myself in. Both Kennedy and Baylee were sitting on the couch, quietly watching a movie. Finally, calm. I sat down at my small desk, opening my textbooks.

But, I couldn't concentrate that well. I opened my phone for the time, and was met with a notification that I had several text from John.

One, how did he get my number and two, how the heck did I get his number?

I couldn't help but think that it had to do with the large portion of last night that I didn't remember. Without checking the messages, I put the phone back down. I might check them later, just to see what he said.

I growled at myself for even thinking about John and started to concentrate more on my textbook.

I didn't want to go to sleep, I'll only end up screaming again. The nightmares were always so horrible. And thus began a long night of coffee and keeping awake.

I don't know what made my dad snap like that, because before we were the perfect family. We even had a dog, a nice house, right across the street from Baylee's, I had straight A's, mom got to stay home because my father's job supported us all.

Like a television family, like the Beavers.

Then, my dad started staying later at work, he said it was just because the business he was CFO of was expanding and he had to go over legal stuff and manage more. That was the only indicator that anything was wrong, and it wasn't even big.

Then one night, I walk in and he attacks me, after stabbing my mom.

I just didn't get it.

After that, I was in a coma for a while and when I woke up, I had to testify against my father.

In the courtroom, sitting on the stand, I saw a whole new side to my father. He was no longer the kind, caring man that had taken care of me for the first eleven years of my life, he was this insane, twisted monster that sat behind the table across from me and smirked.

Like he had done nothing wrong, like he was happy.

I chill runs down my spine and I gasp, realizing that I had dozed off for about half an hour. I rubbed my face, trying to erase the image from my mind. But it didn't leave, it would never leave.

I got up quickly, going to make another pot of coffee, it was getting to be about five o'clock already, and I would need to be up for school in three hours. After putting the coffee on, I decided to go for a quick run.

Not only would it wake me up a little, it would also clear my mind.

I always liked running in the morning best, just when the sun was rising, because it was breathtaking when the sun peeked over the terrain. But, the run wasn't calming my nerves like I had hoped. I was on edge and alert.

I might be a little paranoid....

Giving up, I returned back to the apartment just as the coffee was done. “Dev?” Baylee's voice asked, groggy from sleep. “Why are you up so early?”

“I'm not sleeping.” I mumbled, mixing sugar into my coffee.

“That sounds more like a promise than a reason, Dev. Are you okay?” She asked cautiously.

“Yeah,” I put on a smile, “Don't worry about it, Bay.” I nodded, sipping my coffee.

“Devon...do you want to visit your mom's grave with me today?” She was hesitant to ask.

“No.” I shook my head. It wasn't that I never visited her, I went to her every week, sometimes multiple times, but I never went with someone else. They didn't need to see me break down like I always seemed to when I stopped by her grave.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head once again, “What's there to talk about, Baylee? She's gone, my dad killed her.”

“That's not all you're feeling, Devon. And you can't just keep it bottled up anymore. Don't you think seven years is long enough? Can't you just tell me something?”

“I'll tell you something: there was nothing I could do, and that sucks, okay?” My voice cracked the tiniest bit.

“But it wasn't your fault!”

“Tell that to my mom! Baylee, she's dead.” I stood up, leaving the coffee on the stand. “And I could have saved her.”

“Devon, you--”

“Baylee?” Kennedy's voice interrupted her words. She looked at me helplessly.

“And you what the last thing he said to me was, Baylee?” I asked her, eyes steady and voice struggling to remain even, “As he was being hauled away he told me that I deserved it.”

“Who said that?” Kennedy asked, looking around confused. I went back into my room and got dressed.

Maybe I did deserve it. I never thanked my parents for raising me right, for buying me the things I wanted, or even for being there. I never said 'I love you' or anything to show that I cared. I was the world's worst daughter because I caused my mother's death.

My father's insanity.

It was all my fault.

I waited almost impatiently in my room for class to start, feeling a headache coming. I couldn't tell if it was from lack of sleep or dangerously low blood sugar, so I went our and made myself some breakfast. Baylee wasn't out when I went to the kitchen, and when I checked outside, her car was gone.

I would probably end up walking to campus today. I sighed, running my hand through my hair. Maybe I shouldn't have been so mean, maybe I should have told her everything that was stirring inside me.

But I couldn't. There are just some things you can't talk about. To anyone.

But, she should know. It goes like this every year. I would be on the verge of an emotional breakdown and she would keep trying to get me to talk about it.

This wasn't a therapy session, and I was doing just fine on my own.

I could do this.

My classes went by in a blur, a sleep hazed blur. By the time I got to the campus library to study a little before my last class, I had the worst headache and I could barely keep my eyes open. I took a detour to the cafeteria and got a large cup of coffee, dumping in the sugar.

“Hey, Dev.” I heard Eric, one of my old buddies call.

“Hey, Halvo.” I waved, putting on a smile, “I didn't even know you started here.”

“Yeah, John kind of convinced me so we could be roomies.” He rolled his eyes, “I can't get rid of him.”

How come it seemed that no matter how hard I tried, all my friends were also friends with John?

“Really? You too?” I asked, “God, he's like a parasite.”

But, I was kind of happy for the mental distraction. “He's a good guy.” Eric shrugged, “I don't see why you hate him so much.”

“Ugh, I've gone over this with you a million times.” I groaned.

“Yeah, but it's fun to hear you you rag on John.” He smiled, “He just gets you so worked up, it's entertaining.”

“And, as much as I would just love to go over this with you again, I have a few things to get started on before my next class.”

“Aww, my little girl's growing up. Look at you, being all responsible.” He pinched my cheek then looked at his watch. “Yeah, I actually have to get going to. Humanities with Sherman.” He rolled his eyes. “The guy talks about as fast as a snail runs.”

“Look at you.” I copied his actions by pinching his cheek, “hating on your teachers. You haven't changed at all from high school, Halvo.” I laughed, waving him goodbye.

Not really up for walking all the way to the library again, I took a seat at one of the many small tables in the area, opening my English book. The thing weighed about as much as a small sailboat.

As I opened up to the last few pages of the reading, I could feel my eyelids start to droop, pouring coffee down my throat. If I kept this up, I'll probably grow immune to the affects of coffee. Oh god, please don't let that happen.

The place was noisy, enough to keep me from concentrating, and I ended up staring at the same line in the book for five minutes. A loud thump caused me to jump three feet from my chair, looking up at Baylee.

She cursed a little bit, “Sorry, Dev, I didn't mean to scare you.” She greeted, sitting down, the bag she had dropped heavily to the floor beside her. “I did buy you a muffin, though, poppy seed. Your favorite.”

My mouth watered slightly, and she placed it in front of me. “I'm sorry for snapping at you like I did, Bay, I'm just a little cranky.”

“It's okay, Dev. I should know by now that you like to deal with things on your own...even though I wished you wouldn't. And, I'm here for you.”

I smiled at her, “Okay, Bay, I'll keep that in mind.”

I glanced around the cafeteria again, eyes connecting with the large clock hanging on the wall. “Oh crap, I've got to go, Bay. Thanks for the muffin!” I nodded, stuffing my books back in my bag and rushing away with my half eaten muffin and half empty coffee cup.

-John-

“I'm telling you, Kenny, it's just not going to happen.” I groaned, leaning back in my chair.

“Are you admitting that there is, in fact, a woman who won't fall for your charm?” Kennedy smiled.

“No, I'm saying she's impossible and I can't stand her!” I argued, running my fingers through her hair.

Kennedy gave me a look, something flashing in his eyes, “I bet...if you just leave her alone for a bit, she'll calm down.”

“What do you know that I don't, Kenny?” I asked, glaring at him.

He shrugged, “She was screaming in her sleep last night when Baylee and I went back to their apartment after dinner. She fell asleep on her floor, or at least she ended up there. And this morning they were arguing about something. So...just cool it for a bit.”

“What do you mean...like night terrors?”

“Something like that John, all I know is that it freaked her out enough to make her stay away all night.”

“Alright, man, I might take your advice, but for now, I've got to get to class.” I smirked, getting up.

“I'm warning you, John, if you want to win this thing, and if I want to win this thing, you need to leave her alone for now.” Kennedy called after me.

“Sure, sure.” I waved, heading towards my class.

I was a few minutes late, and I scanned the seats, Devon wasn't here yet. Which was strange for her, she never was late to class. I remember her being so stuck up about her grades that she would always suck up to the teachers and do the extra credit.

Maybe Kenny was right, and something was up.

She burst in right as the teacher started speaking, interrupting the lecture. I stifled a snicker as she put her head down and took a seat in the front. Then I noticed the dark circles and bags under her eyes, the way she was sitting in her chair.

It looked like she hadn't slept all night long. And I didn't need Ken's words to make me see that something was definitely wrong with her.