On the Outside Looking In

I walked out of the store into the dark, clutching the bag containing the beers that I had bought after walking out of the prison today. I hadn’t even seen Gerard. I was too pissed to even try and be sweet right now; I just needed to find a way to get rid of the sorrow I felt. I didn’t regret punching Zacky though; he fucking deserved it.

As I approached my house, I got out a beer and opened it up; I couldn’t wait, I needed a quick fix now. I unlocked the door with one hand, taking a sip with the other. As the cool alcohol touched my lips I knew that it would be my friend and help me get through this shitty time. I stumbled into my small apartment, plopping my bags down onto the work surface. I grabbed all of my beers, lining them all up along the table.

One after another I downed each beer, feeling all my problems and worries wash out of my system. When I ran out, I hobbled to the nearest bar. I probably left my door unlocked; did I even close the door? I can’t remember.

At the bar I asked for 3 shots of absinth. I knew I was alone, but all three would make me forget everything. I just wanted to get wasted on my own. I sat at a nearby table, seeing double as I took my seat. The three small glasses were in a triangle shape in front of me...or was it a square? Wait, squares have four corners not three, don’t they? I don’t know. I didn’t elucidate the dilemma.

I reached out sloppily for the first shot. Down.

My vision started blurring.

The second one was in my hand. Down.

My voice started slurring.

The third one was making its way towards my lips. Down. And so was I. I collapsed on the floor, still awake and still seeing, but out of it too much. This is where I wanted to be; so far away from the real world that I couldn’t think, couldn’t see, and could just pretend everything was alright. Some guy picked me up and I slouched down onto the table, hitting my head. I started laughing uncontrollably. I saw who the guy was; Zacky. He was still in uniform the silly bastard.

“Heyy Zee.” I said flirtatiously. He looked at me in confusion from across the table as I lifted my head and looked at him half smiling cheekily. I couldn’t see much of his face; his three eyes were moving around his face in a green swirl, confusing me. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to focus on one eye. It didn’t work and I just gave up. I slouched back down onto the table and Zacky dragged me off of the chair and out of the bar.

We got outside and I rolled over and flipped myself up off of the cold ground outside the bar.

“Why’d you take me away bitch? I wanted to forget that I was a lizard, you know? I wanted my fuckin' absinth. Like, fucking what? Pink is the new black? Did you know that? I didn’t. Shit what do you mean by that look? Why do you hate me so much? Oh My God! I have wasps in my brain, get them out Zacky please, I’ll love you forever?” I pleaded in my drunken haze. He shook his head and walked me home. Not that I’d stay there long. I was going out again, fuck that!

He dragged me back into my apartment and settled me down into a chair.

“Jesus Brian Haner Jr! How much have you drank? You were lucky you weren’t robbed!” Zacky stressed.

“When’d you become my wife?” I replied lazily, pushing my arm out in front of me as if someone was there.

“I didn’t. Okay I’m going to leave now, Stay put until tomorrow and I’ll get Matt or someone to check on you.” He worried too much.

“Sure sure manure.” I replied, flopping my arm down onto the chair again. I heard the door click closed and I waited for a few seconds before moving again.

I stumbled out and grabbed my keys on the way. I was going on a wild drive through LA! I swung around trying to show my excitement of the whole idea to the streetlamps. No one was around, I wouldn’t hurt anyone. I smiled to myself as I unlocked the door of my car slowly. Slipping into the driver’s side and putting the keys in the ignition, I felt a wave of excitement course through me. Zacky would be worrying about me. Ha ha, stupid bitch. I turned the keys and jumped as the car roared to life. I grabbed hold of the steering wheel and looked out into the horizon line. There were about three or four of them, so I picked the one that looked most realistic.

I started driving and I screamed.

“WAHHEEEYYYY!!” I drove along the road reaching 70 miles per hour.

The velocity kept rising and I smiled ecstatically as I drove out onto the lamp lit streets. I felt a hot sweat come over me and I wiped my forehead. I saw Zacky walking up ahead and I wound down the window.

“Hey honey, guess you didn’t tie the ropes tight enough!” I shouted, laughing loudly, before swerving off road and into a building. I sat in the seat with my head laying on the air bag, waiting. I heard footsteps running over to me and then felt Zacky’s hands pull me out of the car after the door being wrenched open.

He pulled me into a near alleyway and sat me down.

“Brian! What the fuck were you thinking?! You stupid son of a bitch, you could have hurt somebody! Why didn’t you stay home? I’m not on duty right now, but it’s my duty to arrest you. I’ll take you to the police station; at least you’ll be able to sober up. Stupid bitch!” He moaned at me. I smiled before leaning up into his face and kissing him hard on the lips.
His eyes widened in shock and then he followed my lead, kissing me right back. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, but it didn’t feel right.

I pulled away, realising that I’d just kissed the guy I punched a few hours ago. I wiped my mouth and let him drag me off to the station. My heart raced as I complied with Zacky’s plans. I was going down for drinking and driving. Shit I should’ve thought that through.