On the Outside Looking In

I sauntered into the guards lounge, throwing my satchel and papers down onto the table cluttered with notes and coffee cups as I did so. There was a chair that looked slightly yummy from here that had my name on it.

I flopped down and opened my paper up to read while the rest of the guys were filing in slightly later.

“Hey dude!” Zacky bellowed from across the room, walking straight to the coffee machine with Mikey.

“Sup, Syn.” Matt, or Shadz as he prefers to be called, said as he passed. I greeted Johnny, Frank, Mikey and Ray much the same.

“Had any new arrivals while I was at home?” I asked the guys that had been at the prison for the later night shift.

“No, it’s been dead, dude; I just sat here all night contemplating the existence of unicorns.
It’s been pretty much boring. No break out attempts, no minor or major crimes...It sucks.” Mikey replied.

“Ahh,” I answered, going back to my paper. Gerard’s face and case were on the front cover.

“MAN FOUND GUILTY OF ATTEMPTED MURDER OF GIRLFRIEND”

Dude, that guy just needed some love. “Hey guys, wasn’t that the new arrival we had last night?” I continued, knowing full well that it was; I wanted to see if they knew anything more.

“Yeah. That guy sounds, I don’t know; strange, in a way? His family are like Italian and Scottish heritage and he is kind of distant and quiet. That’s the impression I got from early morning breakfast. I don’t know, you met him yet?” Zacky said, sipping his coffee.

“Yeah, I only checked his pee though.”

“Oh really? Sure you didn’t go flirt with him like you do all the other prisoners?” Zacky and the rest of the guys chuckled.

“Bitch. I do NOT flirt with them.” But him I do. Oh how I wish I could just tell them. I kind of liked that Gerard guy, he was sweet. Pretty cute too.

Did I seriously just say he was cute?

I blocked that out of my mind; I couldn’t have a crush, could I?

You know, so what if I did? He probably wasn’t gay anyway; he’d had a girlfriend and stuff, so it wouldn’t amount to anything. Just some fun, I guess.

It was painful listening to him talking about his girlfriend-that-would-have-been-wife though. I pulled a face and the guys noticed.

“Hey Haner, what’s up?” Shadz asked inquisitively, more awake after the coffee.

“Nothing, just someone I like and I don’t know if they like me back.” I admitted.

“Who’s the lucky lady! Spill!” Zacky joined. ‘Lady’ I thought. They could never find out.

“You guys won’t know them, I met them online. She’s from Florida.” I lied. I couldn’t and wouldn’t have them find out.

“Oh okay, well, be safe.” They joked. Ha ha, very funny. I grimaced behind their backs as they turned and walked away.

I wanted to talk to Gerard, see if I could work out anything else; also for some different company. I was pissed at the guys this morning.

I folded my paper, and left the lounge.