Heartless Reaper

I knocked on the door nervously and blended in with my surroundings out of habit. Jacob answered with a blank feature and looked around.
He grumbled incoherently and made his way to shut the door, but I stepped out and stopped him.
“Jacob Black,” I said.
He looked at me and, like all the other times, his eyes were soft and gentle unlike before. He looked so confused and young, his face smooth and calm.
Jacob growled lightly and looked away, scowling, “What do you want, reaper?”
I narrowed my eyes, suddenly confused with his hot and cold emotions. “I wanted to talk.”
Jacob sighed and looked away, a painful expression on his face. I knew, however, that he wouldn’t mind at all if I came in.
I stepped inside and walked straight into the living room, plopping myself down on the small two-seated sofa. Jacob hesitantly closed the door and sat himself next to me, his body rigid.
“May I ask why these… Cullens, right?” I asked and watched him nod. “Why do they repulse you?”
He stared into my eyes, his wall down all of the sudden. It’s like every time he looked at me in the eyes, his face turns softer and happier.
“We have a history, the Cullens and I,” he started, his eyes sad.
I placed my hand lightly on his resting on his knee. He didn’t move away like I’d expected him to.
“Alice is one of them, isn’t she? Are all the Cullens vampires?” I asked.
Jacob nodded and sucked in a breath. He started telling me about the history of his tribe, the werewolves, and how the vampires came here to Forks. He talked about the treaty and specifically how Edward Cullen fell in love with Bella… But one day he left her and that’s where Jacob comes in to heal her, but also fall in love with her. He then talked about his experience of become a werewolf and how hard it was to push Bella away… But now they’re friends again.
“But that bloodsucker is back!” he hissed. “That means the rest of them will come back!”
I rubbed his hand calmly as he shook.
“You know they aren’t any threat,” I muttered gently.
He looked sharply at me, trembling as he glared, “They could hurt her just by slipping on accident! They’re bloodsuckers! One cut! One little cut and she could get sucked dry!”
“You could hurt her too by just slipping. Like now…. You could hurt me, shifter,” I pointed out.
Jacob immediately stopped shaking, as if trying to say he wasn’t dangerous at all. But I still saw the tremble in his hands.
“Hopefully you see my point, Jacob Black. I find Alice a very nice character… Plus vampires in particular, aren’t all bad. I’ve met nice ones over the centuries,” I said, a thoughtful tone in my voice.
Jacob looked shocked as he stared at me, looking down at my body then back to my eyes. “How old are you?”
I laughed, “You know at these times, I heard it was rude to ask about a woman’s age.”
“That’s a woman’s weight for someone of your young looks.”
I smiled, eyeing Jacob with amusement. “I rather tell my weight than age.”
Jacob rolled his eyes, a smile pulling at his lips as he looked at me. I felt intense happiness pushing at my body that I’ve made him smile.
He leaned forward, his eyes suddenly gazing deeply into mine. His hand slowly rose to touch my cheek.
“You have beautiful eyes,” he said softly, leaning closer.
I saw his lips coming closer to mine and I panicked.
Jumping to my feet, I ran to the wall and leaned against it hard. My breaths were gasping, as if I just escaped from being strangled. I clutched my chest, feeling a hollow throb inside.
I turned around to see Jacob hurt, his face shocked and wounded. Then it turned to steel, uncaring and angry.
He got up and ignored me as he picked up a phone.
I blended with the wall, not wanting to make him angrier.
“Charlie?” I heard of the other line of the phone.
“No, it’s me,” Jacob said, his voice empty of emotion.
“Jake!”
He called Bella?
“Just making sure you were still alive,” he muttered bitterly, his eyes roaming around the room.
Is he looking for me?
I stepped away from the wall and saw his eyes land on me.
“I’m fine. I told you that it wasn’t…”
“Yeah. I got it. ‘Bye,” Jacob said harshly, then slammed the phone down.
I squinted my eyes at him, wondering if anything I’ve said earlier went through that thick skull of his.
“What?” he asked angrily, staring at me hard.
“You’re so strange,” I muttered, stepping back in surrender and blending back with the wall.
Jacob huffed out and looked around the room, his eyes searching for me. I almost giggled, but held it in as I watched him.
“Alright, reaper, c’mon out,” he sighed, sitting on the couch.
I kept on blending in until I sat on the couch with Jacob and made him jump in alarm.
“Jacob Black, you would think someone like you would’ve known I was there,” I laughed, pointing at him.
He scoffed and turned away, folding his tanned arms.
I smiled, “C’mon Jacob Black. I’m just teasing you.”
Jacob nodded, looking back at me but not meeting my eyes.
“Hey,” I said, pulling his face to look at me directly in the eyes. “What’s going on with you, shifter? You’re acting so strange.”
He pulled away, “Nothing is wrong.”
I stayed silent as he stood rigid on the edge of the couch.
“Want to stay the night here?” he whispered.
I scratched my arm nervously, remembering how I’ve always slept outside for the past month.
This couch sounds so good!
“If you don’t mind,” I mumbled back, embarrassed.
“I don’t, not at all,” he replied, getting up. “C’mon.”
I followed him to his small room where he picked up a blanket from his room and a pillow.
“You can take the bed,” he said.
I snatched the blanket and pillow from him, walking back out to the living room and the couch.
“I’m having the couch, shifter,” I stated, then settled down on it.
“Oh no you don’t!” Jacob growled playfully, chasing me and pushing me off the couch.
I grabbed onto Jacob’s leg in a childish way, screaming that the couch is mine. His body heat was burning me up.
“It’s mine! It’s mine!” Jacob started shouting. He repeated it over and over again until finally Billy Black entered the room looking alarmed and confused.
“What’s going on here?” he asked, his eyes tired.
I froze on Jacob’s leg and stared wide eyed at Billy.
“Uh… Sorry Dad, did we wake you?” Jacob asked.
“It’s fine. What are you two doing?” Billy asked, eyeing us with amusement and another emotion I couldn’t catch.
“Fighting over the couch,” said Jacob in a duh tone.
“Well you two youngsters have fun doing that, but my money is on Peri,” said Billy, winking at me.
Jacob groaned, “Going against me dad? Fine!”
We waited until Billy was out of the room to continue our fighting.
“I’m sleeping on the couch, shifter!” I screamed into his leg.
“No! Guests are supposed to be treated nicely! Take my bed!” Jacob barked.
It continued on until finally I flipped Jacob over onto his back and slammed myself against the couch, holding on to it with my dear life.
“Getoff!” Jacob shouted, pulling at my legs without success.
“Can’t I sleep?” I yawned, faking to be tired.
“Reaper!”
“Shifter!”
We both glared at each other and then final Jacob gave up, grumbling about how annoying I was and leaving into his room.
I nodded in triumph, but squealed when a huge figure crashed into me.
“I’m telling you it’s mine!” Jacob said loudly, pulling the blanket off me and wrapping it around him.
I laughed, he’s a determined one.
“Jacob Black, how many times do I need to tell you?” I said, “It’s mine!” I pulled the blanket half way off him and pulling it over me.
We both now were on the couch sharing the blanket.
I glared at him, “Get off, Jacob Black. This is mine and that’s final.”
“Nope, looks like we’ll have to share, reaper!”
“Can’t you call me Peri?” I asked softly.
How he said reaper made me sort of hurt for some reason. Unlike the others, I did mind if Jacob kept calling me reaper.
“Peri, we’re sharing,” Jacob huffed, snuggling on the couch.
“Fine,” I said, sticking my tongue out and rolling to my side.
But damn, that boy is uber-huge!
“Jacob Black! You’re taking up all the space!” I groaned, kicking at his legs.
“You’re the one who won’t take the bed!” he mumbled back, kicking back. “And why can’t you call me just Jacob or even Jake? Is it that hard, Peri?”
“Shush Jacob Black, please can you grow shorter?” I grumbled.
After several more kickings later, we were both asleep snoring.
I wasn’t fully asleep; I never am. I was still aware of my surroundings, still grasped sounds. But I was resting and my energy was growing. Jacob’s heat suddenly didn’t feel so hot to me because I knew I was now just as hot; maybe hotter.
The morning was coming and soon I opened my eyes to a new day. Billy entered the room looking at us on the couch together.
I closed my eyes shut immediately as Billy came closer.
“Ah Jacob, I’ve never seen you so happy after the change. You’ve imprinted, but I know you’re in denial,” Billy whispered.
I fake yawned to not startle Billy, “What’s imprinting?”
I was honestly curious to what that was.
Billy gasped, looking shocked that I was awake. I smiled and repeated my question.
He scooted closer to the left side of the couch where I laid, leaning forward in his wheelchair.
I smiled again, curiosity flaming in my eyes.
“Peri…” he said softly, “Imprinting is a special bond. Shifters like Jacob can have this bond with the girl that is perfect for them. The imprinter will imprint on their soulmate. Once he sees the girl, all the strings holding him to Earth shifts and soon it’s the girl holding him down. He would do anything for her, be anything. It doesn’t have to be a love relationship, but a brotherly kind or a best friend kind. But usually it ends up as a love bond because it’s so powerful. Imprinting is an intense and powerful bond that no one can resist. It’s love at first sight, but stronger and deeper.”
Billy said all this in a passionate voice, his husky voice strong.
I smiled enviously at Jacob, “So Jacob imprinted on Bella.”
It wasn’t a question, but a fact in my head.
I was jealous. I wished to imprint and feel the love… Wishing such a thing could happen to me.
Billy was about to say something, but Jacob woke up with a start, mumbling incoherently. I smiled at Jacob.
“Sorry that we woke you,” I said, kicking his legs softly.
“’S fine, that was the most sleep I had for a while,” Jacob muttered, stretching his large arms over his head.
“But that was barely any sleep; we stayed up late!” I argued, surprised that Jacob barely gets any rest. Concern filled my features and I frowned.
The young man shrugged, yawning and leaning heavily on me. He started grinning and pressed his body harder against me.
“Jacob Black, stop trying to squish a poor little girl like me,” I laughed.
“Poor little girl my tail,” Jacob growled playfully, leaning over me harder, his body practically on top of mine.
“You’re hot!” he suddenly said.
“Um… Thanks?” I said, confused.
“No, I mean your body is really burning hot!” Jacob exclaimed, his body weight still trying to squish me.
“I’m just full of energy, Jacob Black,” I said, pushing against him with my strength.
I won the battle with him being squished underneath me.
“She wins, son. You lost to a girl,” Billy teased, a spark in his eyes as he watched us play.
“I did not lose to a girl… She’s a demon, I swear,” Jacob whispered loudly, his eyes wide with fake fear. He pulled the blanket up to his nose.
I kicked Jacob’s shoulder as hard as I can without causing any real pain. I smiled contently when Jacob’s face flinched and he kicked back.
“You’re a violent demon,” Jacob mumbled.
I rolled my eyes and smiled.
“Well,” Jacob said, standing up and giving all the couch room to me, “I’m going to go head out to get a quick shower.” Jacob went back to me, ruffling my hair and then patting his dad’s shoulder. He left to the bathroom.
Billy sighed with a smile, “He’s acting like his age this morning instead of that grumpy man.”
“How old is he?” I asked.
“Only 16; so much has happened to him over the months,” Billy muttered.
Wow. He looks so much older than 16!
“He looks so old and acts so old… It sometimes scares me how the shifting has changed him,” sighed Billy, looking sadly at me.
“But he’s so young,” I said softly.
Billy nodded, “Yes… How old are you, Peri?”
I blushed, my face probably suddenly a shade darker from blushing, “Very old, Billy; older than everyone here.”
“Even the cold ones?”
“Even the non-aging vampires,” I mumbled, blushing in embarrassment at how old I am.
Billy nodded, “You look so young though; like a teenager,” he said, wheeling himself closer to me and observing my face.
“Because I like being 18, not old enough to drink just yet, but old enough to be considered an adult and be on my own,” I answered his unasked question.
“So you’re in the body of an 18 year old?”
I smiled, “Supposedly I am.”
“How old are you really?” I won’t laugh or judge,” said Billy.
I shook my head, “It’s not that… Okay, well maybe it is. I’m as old as the Earth, Billy, I’m even older. I’m as old as death. I was one of the first reapers and I have seen much. I’m very wise Billy, but I choose to forget a lot of things. I envy humans, how they have so much control in their hands… How some are pure evil while others are full of love,” I said, my voice layered with my past.
I looked down at my lap, sighing, “I can’t feel love. I can’t feel a lot of things. I only copy emotions. Usually we reapers can only feel pain and anger. That’s what we’re usually full of, Billy. I can sense emotions that I don’t have, but I can never experience them. I have no heart, Billy.”
“No heart? Oh Peri, you have a heart,” Billy whispered.
I stood up, took Billy’s hand, and placed it over the spot where a heart should be. “Do you feel anything?” I murmured, wishing that he could say yes.
“No.”
I pulled away and sat back down, holding my head in my hands.
“I’m a reaper, Billy. I can’t love without a heart, but I like to pretend.”
“Then…” Billy started.
Jacob came in with his hair dripping wet wearing just some shorts. A shirt was held in his hand and he looked painfully at me.
If I wasn’t in a painful mood, I would admire his well-muscled chest again like I did in the beginning.
“You can’t love?” Jacob said, his tone accusing me.
I looked away, “How much have you heard?”
“Everything. I’m a werewolf remember? I hear everything,” he said.
I stood up, holding my head high. “What is it to you, shifter? I can’t love. I can’t feel a lot of things! I’m a reaper, Jacob Black! You need to stop accusing me for things I can’t control! You shouldn’t even care!” I roared.
I ran out of the house, no tears threatening my eyes as I would have liked. I ran into the beach, finding a log and sitting on it.
“So what?” I growled, clawing harshly at my chest where my heart should be.
Pain filled me. I hate not feeling everything. I mock feelings; I’m a copycat. I at least try; I’m not going to be one of those heartless reapers. I have a heart, even if it doesn’t exist.
I sobbed silently.
Jacob Black, why are you so damn confusing?