Crazy Beautiful

Once again, I hate Mondays...

But it's okay, since I have something to look forward to at school. Frank and I have been dating for a week, and we still haven't told the guys.

Its not that we don't want to; it's just that its never come up in any conversations. I mean what do you just all of the sudden say "Hey Frank and I are dating now just to let you know."

I get to school this morning and find Frank and Mikey by our usual spot on the steps of the school.

They smile as I approach and I sit next to Frank, giving him a good morning kiss.

After a few minutes Mikey coughs and we stop to look at him, and he gives us a questioning look.

We blush and say sorry. It's quiet for a few minutes.

"So, uh... When did this happen?" Mikey finally says.

"Last week." Frank says pulling me up into his lap.

"Oh, that's cool." he nods.

The rest of the day is uneventful and finally the last bell rings letting us out of school. We all decide to go to the Way household to do homework and hang out. Gerard, Ray and Bob are already there in the garage.

Frank sits in one of the big comfy chairs and I sit on the couch close to him. For the first hour we just talk and do homework. When we're all finished Mikey and Bob start to have a video game war, while Gerard, Ray, Frank and I start to talk about random things.

It is time for my medication so I go to the kitchen to get a drink of water, and then take my pills. I put the glass in the sink then go back to the garage.

I sit back down on the couch and after a few minutes I start to feel sleepy, and cold. I put my hoddie on and try to get comfortable on the couch.

"Someone's tired." Frank says. I nod and yawn, "C'mere" he motions for me to come sit in his lap.

I get up and climb into the chair with him; he wraps his arms around my small body and pulls me close trying to warm me up. He starts to rub my back softly as the conversation continues.

I'm falling into a light sleep, listening to his breathing and the noises around me. I'm coming in and out of the conversation, making comments when I feel it's necessary.

Frank starts to play with my ponytail, and then finally takes it out running his fingers through my hair. He occasionally kisses my temple or forehead.

"So uh... how long has this been going on?" Gerard says.

"A week." Frank says simply.

He nods approvingly, "That's cool."

He and Mikey are so alike. I wish I had a brother or sister that I could be close to. Someone I could share my inner most thoughts with. Of course I can talk to Frank, but I mean family problems. Stuff about Mother that he wouldn't understand.

I am almost asleep when I hear Frank whispering something in my ear.

"Zoey, are you hungry?" I shake my head no. I can feel him frown, "C'mon you gotta eat something. You didn't eat lunch, did you eat breakfast?" I nod. "See you haven't eaten since this morning, you need to eat something."

I'm not anorexic or anything like that, I just don't get very hungry very often. I think the medicine takes up most of my appetite. I do eat, and I do enjoy food. I know I'm not fat; I'm just not hungry a lot.

We order a pizza and it gets here fairly quickly. I have a small slice with a Cherry Coke.

The rest of the night is uneventful and I decide it is time to go home. Frank walks me out to my car.

"You know I'm not anorexic, if that's what you're thinking. I just don't get hungry that much, I think it's an side effect from my medicine."

He nods knowingly and pulls me into his arms for a goodbye hug. Then he pulls away a little and pulls my face to his kissing me. I say goodbye to him and he watches me go down the street.

I get home and Mother is watching TV while drinking wine. I say a quiet goodnight then retire to my room.

My birthday is in a week.

September has gone by so quickly, and in a week I will be 18.
Legal to do almost anything.

No one knows except for Mother. I haven't told anyone, no one's asked.

It is Monday and I am at lunch under the tree with Frank and Mikey.

"Yay! My birthday is coming up soon! Which means Halloween is coming soon!" Frank says excitedly.

His birthday is on Halloween, I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday, it's the most unique. You get to dress up and be someone you're not for one night.

"When's your birthday Zoey?" Frank asks.

"October 5." I say taking a sip of my water.

"October 5?... That's in a week!"

"I know."

"Why haven't you said anything?" Frank asks.

I shrug, "You never asked, and I don't think it's that big of a deal."

I hate my birthday. Daddy left on my birthday...

A little girl of 10 comes home from school, excited to see what her parents have done for her birthday this year.
She runs off of the bus and into her house calling out for anyone. Her mother comes in from the living room, her cheeks stained with tears.
'Mommy?' she questions.
'Happy Birthday Zoey!' she tries to say in a cheerful tone, but fails miserably.
Her father then comes down the stairs, suitcase in hand. This is not unusual for the child. Her father goes on business trips all the time.
She greets her father cheerfully then helps him get his bags out to the car. There seem to be a lot of them.

When they are done she asks him how long he is going to be gone.
To which he replies, 'I don't think Daddy will be coming back for a really long time.'
'What do you mean?'
He simply shakes his head and starts to get into the car. The little girl desperately tried to stop him but he just pushes her and she falls to the pavement. Her father speeds off and she watches as he drives down the street. Disappearing into forever.

"Everyone's birthday is important." Mikey says. "What do you want for your birthday?"

"I don't know. You don't have to get me anything. I don't really want anything."

"Well I'm definitely getting you something no matter what you say." Frank says.

Fast Forward A Week...

It's my birthday.

Mother was home before I left for school, but she didn't say anything. Maybe she will later today.

I'm glad it's Friday, I don't want to have to wake up early tomorrow. I'm really tired.

I get to school and Mikey is holding a bunch of balloons. They have different pictures associated with birthdays on them.

I smile and give him a hug after he gives them to me. Frank says that I get my present later.

The rest of the day goes by quickly and soon the bell has rings and we're at the Way's.

I, of course, am blindfolded and am being carried into the house by Frank. He finally sets me down and takes the blind fold off.

It takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust but when they do I gasp in surprise.

There is a big chocolate birthday cake with candles and everyone is standing around it with party hats on.

They start to sing happy birth day and Ray puts a birthday hat on my head. I smile as they finish and blow out the candles.

I wish for Mother to say that she loves me, and tell me happy birthday the next time I see her.

I thank them all for the cake and we each have a piece with vanilla ice cream. When we're done they sit me down on the couch and they each give me a gift.

Gerard got me a Misfits hat; Ray got me some new cds. Bob bought me a Misfits jacket. Mikey got me an Anthrax shirt; he's just recently converted me into an Anthrax fan. Frank says that I get my gift later.

I can't help but feel overwhelmed by all of this kindness, and I start to cry.

"What's wrong?" Bob asks as I start to cry.

"I haven't gotten presents or anything for my birthday since I was 10." I say quietly.

"Well don't think about that right now. It's your birthday, be happy." Ray says.

I nod and we hang out for another hour. Then Frank says that its time for my present from him. We say goodbye to everyone and we get in his car.

I keep asking him where we're going and he keeps saying you'll see when we get there.

We finally arrive and it's the same field he took me to on the day we skipped school.

The sun is almost down and it looks even more beautiful than during the day. Frank helps me out of the car and brings a blanket with him.

We go up on top of the hill, there's a really good view of the moon from there. He sets the blanket down and we sit on it, watching the rest of the sunset.

Frank puts his arms around me and we just sit in a peaceful silence. Now that the sun has set the stars are starting to show up and the moon is moving higher into the sky.

It is the most beautiful site I've ever seen.

"What's the best dream you've ever had?" Frank suddenly asks.

"I can't remember..."

"You can't remember one dream you've had that was good, or even okay?"

I shake my head," I don't dream anymore because of my nightmare medicine. And I can't remember any of the old dreams I've had. I don't think any of them have ever been good."

I wish I could dream. I'd love to dream, it's hard for me to even day dream. Dreams can take you away; they give you an answer to a problem. Help you remember something eventful in your life.

"What's the best dream you've ever had?" I ask.

"I think I was flying. Or just like jumping really high. The feeling was just really weird, in a good way. And I just felt really happy... Oh I think its time for your birthday present." Frank says.

He rummages through his pockets and finally finds what he's looking for. He hands me a little box with a ribbon around it.

It's a silver bracelet with different carvings and designs in it. It looks very antique. I love it.

"Frank... Its beautiful, thank you." I say quietly.

"Your welcome. It's not much, but I just wanted to get you something nice."

"Why?"

"Because, I really really like you."

"Why? You shouldn't. I'm not anything special. I haven't done anything for you."

"You're different, from all the other girls. You're unique, you're genuinely nice. You're gorgeous. Everything about you is special. Why can't you just accept the fact that I really like you?"

"I'm sorry... I'm new to this... And I don't know how to deal with it." I say looking away.

He puts a finger under my chin, and lifts my face so I'm looking directly into his eyes. He leans forward bringing our faces closer until our lips collide and we kiss softly but passionately.

After a few minutes, I feel him run his tongue along my bottom lip. I don't know what that means, so I just continue to kiss him normally. I've never kissed anyone before Frank, I'm wondering if I'm even doing it right.

Frank pulls away," I'm a horrible kisser aren't I." I say quietly.

"No, you're just a little inexperienced. When a guy runs his tongue along your lip, that means he's asking if he can french you."

"Oh..." I say nervously. "I don't know how..."

"It's okay. Jus follow my lead."

I nod and we start to kiss again. This time when I feel his tongue on my lips I open my mouth and he slides his tongue in. Its a little awkward at first, but then I get the hang of it and start to kiss him back.

The kiss turns into what most people would call a "make-out session". After we finish, we smile into each others faces and he kisses me lightly several times.

"Happy Birthday Zoey." he whispers, moving a strand of hair away from my face.

I smile and say thank you by kissing him softly again.

"It's getting late; I should probably get you home." Frank says.

I nod and we grab the blanket and go back to the car. On the drive home I lean my head on his shoulder and doze off into a light sleep, listening to the soft buzz of the radio.

Frank wakes me up when we get to the Way's because I left my car there. I kiss him goodbye and goodnight before driving off into the night.

When I get home Mother is in the kitchen making a snack for herself. I stop to say hello to her, and she just mumbles as usual.

I tell her goodnight then go up to my room. I do the usual, and get ready for bed.

As I crawl under the covers, I think about my day and the wonderful evening I spent with Frank.

Then I cry myself to sleep. Wishing I had used my Birth Day wish on something more realistic.