Life On The Warped Tour

Dear Diary of Sorrows,

Yeah I like that song way too much I know! Any way, We finished our show in Indiana and are going to Hawaii! Yes! Sand surf and Kitten in a bikini! Y-e-s!!! But to get there we gotta ride in a plane and for some odd reason I feel like sanity is going to get left behind. Oh hey here comes Kitten. She looks sick!

"Hunny what's the matter?" I ask her.

"This plane is all out of coffee!!!" She says sounding like she was detoxing.

"What how the hell can you not have coffee!? I'll freak out if I don't get some caffeine!" I say panicked.

^time laps one hour later^

"Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee," We chime in unison rocking back and fourth our legs curled up to our chest. We are going through some serious with drawls here! Get the coffee rolling now! You phyco flight attendants!

"Hey guys thought you might like this," Ninja says.

"Gimme that!!!" We say in unison. I think we have gone rabid at lest Kitten has, there is foam coming out of her mouth!!

All better now that we have had caffeine put back into our blood. Now we can watch the movie in peace and I wont have a rabid girlfriend on my hands! Yay! Huh, what movie is this? Holey crap! That's one big frigging snake! I watch further into the movie and realize what movie this is. It's Snakes on a Plane Oh my God! that dog just got eaten whole!

"AAA! Make it stop!" I scream.

"Okay Gee!" I here Kitten's soothing voice. Her hand resting on my upper arm. Suddenly I feel a really sharp Paine in my arm where Kit's hand was just a second before. I look to see a needle hanging out of it.

"What the hell is that there for!?" I question panicked.

"It's just a sedative to make you calm down," Kit says from a distance.

I feel really funny! Like Ha ha funny. Is this supposed to happen? Wow look at the colors. How bright and sparkly they are! And how beautiful my Kitty looks now.

"Kitty Kitty Kitty Kat!" I say felling it slur off my toung.

"What's up Gee?" she asks her voice slowing down.

"Santa! Oh my God! Santa here!? I know him! I know him!" I say not knowing exactly why I say it.

"Gee are you okay?" Kitt asks voice getting slower and slower

"I'm easy peasy pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie motherfucker!!!" I say again not knowing why exactly why it was coming out of my mouth.

After a wile I am just babbling incoherently not knowing exactly what I am saying but Kitt looks at me with love in her eyes.

"I hate manwich!" I scream in her face.

"Okay Gee I was just asking if you wanted a sandwich Geez!" Brian says confused as Kitten explains what is going on.

"Kitten! Kitten! Look were flying!" I say tugging at her shirt that for some reason has my face on it and the words blood blood gallons of the stuff as well.

"Yeah Gee were flying!" She says in an adorable baby voice eyes lighting up. God she would be so good with our kids!

"I lerv you Kitten!" I say suddenly. She looks at me and says,

"I love you too Gerard," Yes she loves me and I lerv her! We should make children! Is that the sedative talking? I don't have any clue oh well.

"We should mate!" I say not really meaning to.

"Later but not right now I don't think you are up for it," She says humoring me.

"Baby you don't know what I can do when I'm wasted!" I say sounding drunk. God Gee just keep your mouth closed.

"Not now Gee we are going to be landing in about five minutes," She says smiling at me even though I am making a complete idiot of myself!

We land and I can't walk all that great so Kitten has me on one arm and Ninja and Frank have the other one since they are both so short. They pull me into a standing position and I grab Kitten and pull her into a drunkard's kiss even though I am not drunk and not hooked on this I really don't want to do this again. So next time I'll watch something on my iPod.