This Is How I Disappear

I walked away from my best friend, I was only vaguely aware of where I was going. I should have been going to class but I found myself walking toward the door. Everyone in the halls were looking at me as I walked by, I guess we caught their attention with the screaming. As I was walking all I could think is I have to get away. I have to get away from all these people looking at me thinking that I was this poor broken little girl. As I got closer to the door I realized that the was a boy standing by the door, he wore a worried expression. I pushed past him and everyone else and I was finally free from all the looks and I felt the need to run. So that’s what I did. I ran. When I finally stopped I was standing I front of my house. Most people would say home but not me. My house hasn’t been a home since Noah died. I unlock the door and go inside. My house is big and empty. My mother is still not home, she tends to be gone for weeks at time. I wish she would just stay gone forever. And as to where or who my father is I don’t know. I walk over to the kitchen glancing at the clock on my way, it was 3:15. God, no wonder I was hungry I ran for hours. I find the number for this local pizza joint and call in a cheese pizza and ask them to deliver it to my house, seeing as how I was to tired to walk. I go crash on the couch and begin to let all my pent up emotions spill out. I here the door bell ring. Shit I wipe my eyes and look in the mirror at my red eyes and hope who ever it is won’t notice I was crying.

“come on in, the door is unlocked.” I yell from the couch and hope that it is the delivery man.

“you shouldn’t do that. I could have been a killer.” it was the boy from school that I saw by the door. What was his name? Shit, I should know this. I stare at him trying to remember his name. he has short black hair, his lip pierced twice, and a couple of tattoos and one of those bull nose ring things. He is gorgeous. And he is in a band. This stuff I know but he name is lost in my mind.

“What are you staring at?” he asked kind of annoyed.

“nothing” I say looking at the ground embarrassed by my thoughts.

I paid him for the pizza, and I thought he had left so I began crying again. I heard someone cough behind me and turned around to the boy looking at me, wearing the same worried expression as before.

“are you okay?” he asked me.

“yes I am. Uh. Shit What is your name?” I asked not caring about trying to remember.

“ Zacky, we go to school together.”

“I know that.”

“ I didn’t know, usually girls like you don’t see people like me.”

What the fuck did he just say.

“what do you mean girls like me?” I asked to upset and pissed to try and hide it.

“you know cheerleader, perfect life, perfect body.” he said very obviously checking me out.

“ trust me Zacky, there is absolutely nothing perfect about my life.” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

Zacky wiped it away with his hand.

“well, no that you have said it you have to come sit down” he said dragging me to the couch. “and talk to me about it.”

“wait, don’t you have to go back to work.”

“confession, I am not a deliver boy, I was walking by and I paid the actual deliver boy.” he said looking kind of embarrassed.

“why would you do that?’

“ I had to see that you were okay. “ he said with the sweetest smile I have ever seen.

“Can you help me as I’m starting to burn!’ oh shit, I guess I zoned out again, I tend to do this more when Zacky is gone. God I hate it when he is on tour, it bothers me being in this house all by myself. It reminds me of when I was younger and my mom wasn’t home that emptiness that I felt the emptiness that my best friend and now fiancée saved me from all those years ago. Coming back to reality I realized that is Zacky’s band is on the fuse top twenty countdown.