This Is How I Disappear

Johnny and I walked over into the living room, Ollie was sitting in the floor looking at a DVD, his little eyebrows were furrowed indicating the he was confused.

“Ollie, whats wrong?” I asked my son.

“I don't know what it says.” he said, I walked over to him and took the DVD from him.

“Oliver I need to talk to you.” I said after picking him up and walking over to sit next to Johnny on the couch.

“Otay.” he replied.

I took a deep breath before I spoke, “I need you to understand that Johnny isn't really you Dad.”

“He not?” I look down at him and he looked rather heartbroken.

“No sweetie.”

“But, on TV a daddy is someone that talks to you and plays with you. And you do all of those things and more wif Ollie.” he said looking to Johnny as he spoke.

“Yeah, I know but I am not your Father.” Johnny said.

“Then where is Ollie's daddy?” he asked, I made a mental note to talk to him about the talking in third person thing, a lot of the time it's cute, but right now it's a nuisance.

“Your daddy is gone.” I said, as a tear rolled down my face, I had prepared myself for Oliver blowing up and throwing a fit, but I never thought about him wanting to know where Zacky went.

“Why?” He asked looking at me this time, I don't know if I can do this.

“He died, sweetheart.” I said while trying to hide the tears that were flowing down my face now.

“How did he die, mama?” Ollie asked.

“Uh, I think that's enough info for now. All you need to know now is that I love you and your mom very much and just because you know now that I am not your father doesn't mean that anything has changed, okay?” Johnny said.

“So, you still wuv Ollie and Ollie's mama?”

“Yes.” Johnny said looking me dead in the eye, which caused me to blush.

“And your not gonna weave Ollie or Ollie's mama?”

“No, I am not gonna leave either of you.” Johnny said still looking at me, which caused my blush to deepen, I hate that he has this effect on me.

I got up and went into my room to get ready for the day. I took a quick shower and fixed my hair. I was putting my face on, metaphorically speaking, when I heard I knock on the bathroom door.

“It's open.” I said, the door opened and Johnny came in.

“Hey, are you alright?” Johnny asked hoping up on the bathroom counter.

“Yeah, I just wasn't expecting him to ask about Zacky.”

“Oh.” he said looking at his feet.

My mind went back to the day that I found Zacky was gone.

“Matt your gonna break him!” Val yelled.

“Yeah, get your fat ass off of me!” Johnny yelled at Matt who was currently sitting on Johnny's stomach.

I was sitting in the corner waiting on Brian to come back, when I had told them what happened Brian said he was going to go look for him.

Matt and Val went to get some food leaving me alone with Johnny.

“Hey.” Johnny said sitting down next to me.

“Hi.”

“Everything is gonna be fine.” Johnny said, but I can't shake the bad feeling that I have.

Just then Brian ran in, he looked tired.

“Brian, did you find him?” I asked.

“Yeah, he's gone, Delilah.” Brian said looking at his hands as he spoke.

And I fell apart right there, Brian got up and left saying he couldn't handle it, leaving me alone with Johnny once again.

“DELILAH!” Johnny yelled now standing in front of me shaking me.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you sure you're alright?”

“Yeah, I just had a flashback, I used to do that a lot to Zacky.” I said thinking back.

Johnny stood there looking at me with a weird expression on his face, it was like worried mixed with amused.

“What, why are you looking at me like that?” I asked.

“I'm just gonna keep that to myself.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Cause if I tell you, you'll smack me and I'm not stupid.” he said.

I walked over to him and smacked him upside the head before walking out of the bathroom.

“Ow.” I heard him say before following after me.