Dear God

I left Kat's house early the next mrning. I took to the highway, I just wanted to get home to them. My phone rang and I put it on speaker. "Hello" I sang. "Tanita you need to get to the hospital." Matt's voice was hard as if he was trying not to cry. "Whats happened??" I questioned demanding to know. "Courtney didnt feel well last night so I took her to the hospital and they are running tests on her. Come home Tanita we need you here!" Matt pleaded. "I am on my way home as we speak. Ill be there in an hour." I said holding back the tears. "Please say my baby girl is alright." I prayed driving down the highway back to Huntington.

I pulled up to the hospital an hour later and ran in to find my daughter. "Hell how may I help you?" the nurse asked at the station. "I am looking for my daughter her father brought her in last night. Her name is Courtney Sanders." I told the petite nurse. "Yes she is in room 204. Its just down the hall to your left and it is the last room your husband should be there." the nurse told me as I took off. I ran to Courtneys room and meet the guys and the girls. "Where is Matt?" I questioned and Brian led me into the room. "Matt is she ok?" I sniffed. "I dont know the doctor will be here soon." Matt said holding me to his chest. Matt cradle me in his arms for what felt like a few minutes but was hours. "Ahem sorry to interuppt my name is Dr. Mona Billard I am looking after your daughter can I have a chat with you two in my office please." Dr. Billard asked heading to the door. Matt and I followed her out of the room and down to her office.

As we entered her office she asked us to sit down. "Ms and Mr Sanders Courtney's test results have come back and I am afraid it is some bad news. Courtney has lukemia." I didnt know what to do it was like time had stopped. " We need a bone marrow transplant if we can possibly test you both to see if you are a match, the sooner the better." Dr. Billard asked Matt and I. We both nodded and went out of her office. Matt wrapped me into his arms and held me. "Everything is going to be ok I promise baby." he let go of me and we walked back to Courtneys room. When I arrived there Val threw her arms around Matt giving me a smirk. "Is she ok Matt?" Val purred to him. Matt looked at me and shook his head at that point Brian wrapped me in his arms. "Whats wrong little sister." Brian cooed as I began to cry. "She has .... she has Lukemia." I said threw tears. Everyone offered their sorrys but I just wanted to sit beside my baby girl. Throughout the night I sat at her bedside never wanting her to wake up alone. Matt stayed with me for awhile but thought it was best he pack an over night bag for me. He kissed my forehead and left, I took my little girls hand and whispered. "Momma is here baby and she promises not to leave again I love you baby girl. Then I couldnt stop the tears I kissed the back of her hand and watched m five year old sleep going threw memories of all that she has been through already.