Dear God

Graduation has come and gone and I am 18 today. This wasn’t the way I had planned my life to go. I didn’t plan to be pregnant and not have the father around. I can’t lie anymore I have to tell him. Zacky my mom and Brian are right Matt has the right to know that I am carrying his child. As I straightened the final strand of my chestnut brown hair I thought about what I was going to say to him. How do you tell the guy who broke your heart that you are carrying his kid? The reason I personally don’t want to tell Matt is because he is about to embark on his dream of being in a famous band and playing music why should I ruin that for him with a child. I grabbed my phone black cardigan and my keys and headed to my car. I drove over to Matt’s house and sat in the drive way for a few minutes looking at my phone. Just do it my head screamed at me. As I got out of my car the front door opened and there they were Val and Matt happy as usual. "I’ll be here later ready to go." Val said sweetly and walked past me glaring at me. "Hey Tanita what’s up?" Matt said awkwardly. "Hey" I said sending a text message to my friend Josie I am going to tell him but I am going to Long Beach after it and live somewhat of my dreams. "Tanita you ok girl" Matt asked with a reassuring smile. "Emm yeah I was just wondering can we go for a walk?" I said pulling my sunglasses on. "Sure" Matt smiled.

We walked from Matt’s house to the park in silence. Matt broke the silence by giving me a cup of coffee. "So why did you ask to me to go on this walk? I thought we weren’t friends anymore." “Were not friends I just have something important to tell you" I tried choking back the tears. "Is everything ok Neeties?" Matt asked placing an arm around my shoulder pulling me close. I just shrugged him off and looked at with cold eyes. "No Matt and don't go mad please after I tell you?" I said coolly, he just nodded. "I am not going on tour with you's tomorrow I am going to move away far from here, its full of bad memories" I sighed. "What! Why are you not? Its cause Val’s going isn’t it?" I could hear the anger in his voice. "Matt that’s not the reason and you know it." I tried to calm him. "Then what’s the reason tell me!!" he demanded. I stayed quiet as I tried to get the words out but I walked away Matt followed me back to his house so I could get my car. Matt grabbed me from behind and pressed me against my car door "Tell me why?" he demanded again. "I am pregnant!" I snapped. Matt suddenly let go and stood back. "Your you Your carrying my Baby?" he stammered and it was my turn to nod. "Your joking right?" he laughed lightly, I shook my head and got in to my car. "I hope your dreams true Matt and look after Brian." "Wait you’re just going to tell me then leave how is that fair." I looked Matt in the eye he looked lost frightened and confused. "I want your dreams to come true so I am leaving tonight, if you have anything to say then say it." I closed the door and started the ignition and drove off.

Later on after the big dinner with my family I grabbed my bags and put them in the boot of my car. "Take care of yourself baby and ring me when you get there also I want to come visit every weekend when you’re not studying ok." my mom pulled into a big hug. "I will mom" I hugged her back. I went over to the guys every one of them had come to say goodbye bar Matt. I shrugged the heart ache off and hugged my best friend’s goodbye. "I love you all and remember I will always be your number one fan" I smiled as Brian helped me into the car. I pulled away from my life in Huntington to start a new one with my child in Long Beach, I will be all she needs and she will always know i will love her also do anything for her.

Matt POV

I watched her drive off I watched Tanita drive off as she just told me she was carrying my baby. I can’t believe it I couldn’t think straight. I was brought back to reality when I heard my phone ring it was Zacky. I couldn’t bear to answer the phone so I just turned my phone off. I went inside I didn’t know what to do. I can’t be a dad not yet and when Brian finds out he is going to kill me. "There are other options" the voice in my head was shouting at me. Tanita would rather I live my dream then let us live faith together and what bout Val how could i do this to her it’s all unfair. I lay down on my bed and dozed off from all the thinking, I was woken up by my mom calling I looked at the clock, "Shit" I cursed to myself. She will be leaving in ten minutes I have to convince Tanita to stay and let us raise our family together. As I ran to the door and opened it Val was walking towards me. Oh not now him in no mood for her. "Where are you going handsome." she purred. "I have to go over to Brian’s and sort details about tour out.” I rushed out and jumped into my car. "What are doing Val?" I questioned as she got into my car. "Going with you I don’t trust Tanita alone with you.” I huffed and pulled out quickly from my drive way and headed to the Haners. As I got there I realised I was too late she was already gone. They were gone Tanita and my unborn child were gone. FUCK