Status: active.
How Tempting They Make It
One year and eleven months.
Nico and I had some pretty strange conversations. To us, they weren't odd. But I found myself delighted how we could lay lazily on my leather couch and discuss cats.
He told me he once had a cat named Hazel, and she was so small. But she beat up every other feline on their street. Was it weird to envy a cat? I was never a violent person, but to have the ability to control your surroundings, to prove yourself strong, even if you were seven pounds... Maybe people would start listening.
I was beginning to like Nico as a friend, and I was satisfied with that. Hannah didn't want to hear it; she thought I was weak for giving up on the bet.
But it became harder and harder to accept what I was actually doing. He was just, so sweet. While the sunlight poured into my living room, and while he played with my hair, while he ran his fingers through the strands like a hairbrush, and while he spoke so quietly and softly and fondly of this cat he once owned... I just couldn't do it to him.
"She was a great cat. She developed some sort of blood cancer, not leukemia. They didn't even know what it was," and when he finished, we were still beneath the light. His steady breathing lifted me up and down, gently. I rolled over and melted into him. His eyes were closed, but he was smiling.
"What keeps cats so strong?" I placed my chin down on his chest, but he didn't budge. I waited, and waited but he never said anything. I slid the left side of my face near his heart, expecting to hear loud thuds, like mine, but the sound was faint. Maybe he was falling asleep.
"Well," Nico boomed and I nearly jumped a foot when his hands reached out and wrapped around my arms. He started laughing, and I shook with each sound he choked out. "I think they don't get too attached to things, or people. It's easier to move on when you're not too connected to something."
"Are you attached to me?"
I didn't mean to suddenly ask, or pry. I had been restraining myself, but curiosity fled through my bones. When would be another good time to ask him?
He sat up and pulled me with him and then we just looked at each other. He didn't have to tell me if he was or not. I knew, and I could see it in his eyes.
He told me he once had a cat named Hazel, and she was so small. But she beat up every other feline on their street. Was it weird to envy a cat? I was never a violent person, but to have the ability to control your surroundings, to prove yourself strong, even if you were seven pounds... Maybe people would start listening.
I was beginning to like Nico as a friend, and I was satisfied with that. Hannah didn't want to hear it; she thought I was weak for giving up on the bet.
But it became harder and harder to accept what I was actually doing. He was just, so sweet. While the sunlight poured into my living room, and while he played with my hair, while he ran his fingers through the strands like a hairbrush, and while he spoke so quietly and softly and fondly of this cat he once owned... I just couldn't do it to him.
"She was a great cat. She developed some sort of blood cancer, not leukemia. They didn't even know what it was," and when he finished, we were still beneath the light. His steady breathing lifted me up and down, gently. I rolled over and melted into him. His eyes were closed, but he was smiling.
"What keeps cats so strong?" I placed my chin down on his chest, but he didn't budge. I waited, and waited but he never said anything. I slid the left side of my face near his heart, expecting to hear loud thuds, like mine, but the sound was faint. Maybe he was falling asleep.
"Well," Nico boomed and I nearly jumped a foot when his hands reached out and wrapped around my arms. He started laughing, and I shook with each sound he choked out. "I think they don't get too attached to things, or people. It's easier to move on when you're not too connected to something."
"Are you attached to me?"
I didn't mean to suddenly ask, or pry. I had been restraining myself, but curiosity fled through my bones. When would be another good time to ask him?
He sat up and pulled me with him and then we just looked at each other. He didn't have to tell me if he was or not. I knew, and I could see it in his eyes.
♠ ♠ ♠
i hate this chapter, jesus christ.