Undead

Chapter 19
I walk out of the kitchen, Danny’s bowl of popcorn in hand. Screams erupt for both the TV and Danny as I sit on the couch.
“Did you really just scream?” I ask him.
“DUDE IT WAS SCARY!” He yells taking the bowl from me.
“How could you not know it was coming?” I ask, curling my legs into me. I had been spending the day with Danny because everybody was out doing something. It was about 2 pm but inside it looked about midnight.
“I was too busy complaining about that damn tree to pay attention to the movie!” He yells, gesturing at our Christmas tree. “Christmas was two weeks ago, can we take it down already?!”
“After this movie” Christmas had been an uneventful day. Most of the stuff I got was either stuff that was already mine, stuff for Blake, or stuff for everybody in the apartment. The only AMAZING gift I got same from Mathew, of all people, it was a snow globe with a four leaf clover inside.
I look up at the screen and realizing how boring this movie is for me. “I’ve seen this movie a thousand times, I’m gunna go get the mail.”
“Fine, you whore” He says already sucked into the TV before I can shut the door. I get down to our mail room just as somebody is leaving it. I let him go by me because he seemed to be in a rush, watching him as he passes me with his hood covering his face. I think of how the sweatshirt looks strangely familiar. Shrugging, I walk into the mail room and unlock our box, as the little door swings open and package falls to the floor. I scoop it up and grab the rest of the mail, all of it late Christmas cards. I run back upstairs knowing if I took too long Danny would freak out and kill me.
“Fuck my life” I hear from the kitchen as I open the door.
“George?” I ask realizing the voice wasn’t Danny and George was perched on the counter, shirtless.
He looks up at me from his perch on the counter, “Help me.”
“With what?” I ask trying not to stare at his body.
“This” He says gesturing to his other side. I walk around to see a bandage on his left side. “Don’t worry it is just a tattoo. Pull off the gauze and put this on it” He orders me, handing me a tube of ointment.
Carefully I peel off the gauze and examine the tattoo, struggling to read the words because of the redness. Finally I make them out, “Paint me a pretty picture of lies and hate.” Then I notice a little butterfly floating near the words, clearly a new addition to his body.
“I got it because of what you said to me awhile ago.”
As I unscrew the tube I say, “I never thought somebody would get one of my quotes tattooed on them…”
“He is just that crazy and stupid” Danny shouts from the now sunny living room.
After I put the ointment on, replace the gauze, and help him put his shirt back on we go out into the living room to join Danny on the couch.
“Bitch did you get the mail?” Danny asks not even looking up from the TV.
I stand up and walk over to the counter where I had dropped the mail. I sorted through it 2 cards for Danny, One for George, and three for Jorel and me.
“Don’t forget this” George says picking up the package I had dropped earlier.
“Who is it for?” I ask handing Danny his cards.
“A Mrs. Willow Terrell” George read, I look up at him shocked. “There is no label or anything, just that in black marker.” I take the box from him and hand him the rest of the mail. I fall back onto the couch and open the box. Inside was a teddy bear charm for my bracelet. “Jordon.”
“What are you going to do with it?” Danny asks putting the money he got from the cards into his wallet.
“I’m not sure yet” I say putting it back into the box. “But how about we not tell Jorel?”
“Whatever” George says tossing me my cards.
I open them all, examine the names, and dump out the money. Afterwards I walk into my room to hide the box and to put the money in my wallet. Out in the living room I could hear the boys arguing over TV, I go back out and join them, squeezing myself in between them on the couch. I rest my head on George’s shoulder as Danny gets up to close the blinds.
“I’m tired” I state blankly.
“How can you be tired? I woke you up at noon!” Danny says.
“Dude she is 5 months pregnant. She is going to be tired, hungry, and bitchy constantly” George explains.
“Where did Jorel go?” I ask, wondering what happened to my boyfriend.
“I don’t know. He dropped me off and told me he’d be back later.”
“Fuck my life” I say as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
Suddenly I wake up, now in my bed with somebody next to me. I lean over to see who it was, Jorel. Silently I smile then look at the clock, 1:57am and now I am wide awake. I climb out of bed and walk to the kitchen for a glass of juice. As I drink it I listen to the sounds around me, my boys snoring while they slept and the city noises around me. Next I do my motherly thing and check on all of them, George was about to fall off the couch so I pushed him back on, Danny was perfectly fine, and Jorel was awake waiting for me.
“Baby?” Jorel asks his voice shaking.
Quickly I get over to the bed and sit next to him. I see tears streaming down his face. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I-I- I thought you left” He tells me, his voice shaking with his shoulders.
I pull him close to me, “Why would I ever leave you?”
“Because you don’t love me.”
“Jorel, don’t say that.”
He pulls away from me and stands up to look at me, ignoring my hurt expression, “You don’t love me. You don’t care about me. You want George.”
“Jorel stop it” I beg as I start to cry.
“No you want George. You don’t want me. I fucking give up. No matter what I do I’m not good enough for you. And I’m the famous one!”
“Jorel” I finally force out. “I love you! Not George!”
He walks towards the door and stops to look at me, “No you love me for the moment, the second I leave you love George.”
“Jorel, please stay.”
He turns and looks at me, “Why should I?”
I look up at him, tears falling freely down my face, “Because I need you.”
“You have George” He says then storms out of the room, and out the front door slamming it behind him.
I lay on my stomach and shove my face into the pillow. I stop breathing and try to suffocate myself. I almost passed out when I feel a pair of heavy hands roughly pulling me up.
“Don’t you fucking dare” Mathew says pulling me into his lap. “Charlotte would die, then I would die.”
I laugh softly as I stare at the ceiling. “Oh Matty, it wouldn’t be that bad just to die.”
“Willow stop it” He says pushes my hair out of my face.
I start to cry again, “I can’t. He left me. Just like everybody else does.”
He looks around before meeting my eyes again, “I can’t really bring you to Charlotte like this… So who do you want to spend the night with you? George?”
“No” I say instantly remembering the reason Jorel left. “Jorel or Jordon. If Jorel won’t come back get me Jordon.”
“Willow…”
“If anybody but one of those two shows up in my bed I will scream on the top of my lungs.”
“Well who do you want in here while I go make calls?”
“Who are my options?”
“George, Danny, Dylan, and Aron.”
“Can I just stay by myself?”
“No.”
“Uh Danny.”
“Can you just go in there then? I don’t feel like getting his ass out of bed.”
“Are you going to get me Jorel or Jordon?”
He kisses the top of my head, shocking the hell out of me, “I’m going to try my hardest, you little bitch. Now go snuggle up next to Danny boy.”
I climb out of his lap and out of the bed. I turn and look at him before I walk out the door to see him watching my concerned. “Thank you Mathew.”
“Don’t. Now go cuddle with Danny.”
I walk into Blake’s room and lay down on the air mattress next to Danny. He shifts and turns towards me, “Why are you in my bed?”
“Because you love me” I say taking advantage of his confusing and snuggling closer to him.
“You smell like vanilla” He says as he smells my hair.
I laugh at he continues sniffing my hair, “Hey freak, go back to sleep.”
As if he was waiting for me to tell him, Danny falls right to sleep. I lay there snuggled in his arms, wishing he was Jorel. I miss my baby. I don’t get what I did wrong…
“Willow” I hear Mathew say softly. “Somebody is here for you.”
As carefully as possible I slide out of Danny’s arms and follow Mathew into the bedroom. I walk in to see Jorel sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.
Mathew squeezes my shoulder, “He really didn’t want you around Jordon. I have to go back before Charlotte wakes up. Try not to fight.”
I watch him as he walks down the hall, then shut the door and walk over to sit next to Jorel. “Why did you come back?” I ask finally.
He takes a deep breath and looks at me, “Because I love you.”
“Then why did you leave?”
“Because I love you too much.”
“But…” I stop as he turns in the bed so he was completely facing me.
“Willow I am sorry but I can’t take living in the house with these guys and you. I don’t mind Danny because he is harmless but George needs to find a place. Knowing you fucked him makes it hard for me. Willow I love you and I hate seeing those looks you two sometimes share. I hate the secret conversations you two have. And I actually hate that he calls you Butterfly.”
I lean towards him to stop him with a kiss, “Jorel, you have no idea how much I wish it was you I got with in the beginning. I love you so fucking much. I wish it was your baby I was carrying. I wish I could take everything back and start over with you. I wish I had followed my heart and gone with you the day I entered your guys’ circle. I am sorry. I fucked up. You can leave me. I won’t hate you.”
He pulls me into his lap as I start to cry. “Baby, look how perfectly you fit with me” he says pulling me closer. I did fit perfectly into his lap and into his chest. “All of this just proves how much we love each other. Willow Elizabeth Decker, I love you.”
I smile through me tears as I look up at him, “Jorel Michael Decker, I love you too.”
“How many months have we been together?”
“About 3 months.”
“Good” He says then kisses my forehead.
“Why?”
“You’ll see, Beautiful. Don’t you worry. I am not going anywhere” He says laying me down and laying next to me. He snuggles into my side, knowing it hurt to lay on my side. He intertwines his fingers with mine.
I look up at him, “Never let go baby. Okay?”
“I promise, baby girl. I will never ever let go.”
I look at him as he watches me, “What are you thinking right now?”
“How lucky I am to have a beautiful girl like you. What are you thinking?”
“How amazing my boyfriend is.”
He smiles at me, “I’ll have to meet him some day.”
“Yeah, he is pretty sexy” I say grinning.
He laughs softly, “Go to bed, baby girl.”
Worry washed over my face, “Will you still be here in the morning?”
“Of course baby.”
Reluctantly I close my eyes as I feel him move in the bed, never take his hand out of mine. “I love you” I whisper.
“I love you too” he whispers back before we are both taken by sleep.

I wake up to people arguing, I roll over to find the other side of the bed empty. Instantly I panic, “Jorel?!”
I hear somebody run down the hall and see Jorel run into the room, “What’s wrong, baby?”
“Nothing. I just…”
“Thought I left?” He asks, I nod as he sits on the bed. He kisses my cheek, “I told you I am not leaving.”
“But I am” A voice says from the doorway. I look up to see George standing there.
“Where are you going?” I asked, scared that my baby was going to lose its daddy.
“I’m not sure yet. I might get an apartment around here or I might just go back to LA” He says shrugging.
“Oh okay” I say clearly shocking both of them.
“You’re just going to let me leave like that?” George says, sounding so heartbroken it made me want to cry.
“If that’s what you want to do, go ahead. I’m sick of stopping people from leaving me” I tell him honestly, knowing he knew why I said it.
“Fine. I’ll pack up my stuff and be out of here in an hour. Bye” He says, fighting the urge to cry as he walks out the bedroom door.
“Bye George” I call after him then look at Jorel. “Surprised?”
“Not going to lie, yes” He says trying not to smile.
“That took a lot. Not because I want him, but because he was my best friend.”
“I know, baby. I know. Don’t forget he is my best friend too” He says as he kisses me. “Watch a movie with me?”
“Can you get me something to eat and drink?” I ask him, using my sweet voice. “Please, baby.”
“Of course. What do you want?”
“A peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk, please.”
He stands up then looks at me, “Crust cut off then cut diagonally right?”
I smile as he walks out of the room, “You know me so well!”
Jorel comes back with my sandwich and drink, “Here you go, Princess.”
I take the plate from him, and thank him with a kiss, “I am not a princess.”
“You’re right. You are my queen” He kisses me again then steals a bite of my sandwich. “What do you want to watch?”
“I don’t care. You pick” I tell him, biting into my sandwich. I hear the front door slam and I know George is gone. “Baby, where is Danny?”
“Still sleep. Then he is going out with Dylan and Augusta” Jorel answers as he puts a movie and in and climbs on the bed to sit next to me. He grabs the remote then looks at me, “Willow I really am sorry for last night. I just had a dream that me and George were dying and you saved him not me. It seemed too much like reality. I thought you loved him, not me…”
A tear escapes his eyes, I wipe it with my thumb and turn his head so I could look into his eyes, “There is only one man I will ever love more than you. And that is my son.”
“What about Jordon? Mathew said you wanted him last night…”
I look down at my plate, “I wanted to see him to prove I love you. He’s one of the other two guys I have said I love you to and meant it. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t love him anymore only you.”
“Who is the other guy?”
“Huh?”
“You said you’ve said I love you and meant it to two guys. Jordon is one, who is the other?”
“This kid that dealt with me when I was a freshmen. I lost everything for him. I loved him and I believe he really did love me. I was the only one he ever cared about. When he was upset I was the one he’d run to. I miss him and still do to this day.”
Jorel grabs my hand and squeezes it, knowing I wanted to cry. “Do you know where he is now?”
“Dead. He committed suicide the day before his 18th birthday.”
“Baby, I am so sorry. I wish I was there to help you through that.”
“It’s fine” I lie. “I dealt with it the best I could at 15.”
“You were only 15?”
I nod, “At 15 I lost my best friend and my first true love.”
He pulls me close to him. “Willow, I’m sorry. I know what it feels like. I’ve lost so many friends to drugs.”
“And now you’ve lost two more because of me.”
“Not true. Jordon was a jackass. George was a pansy.”
I look up at him, “But they’ve been your friends from the beginning.”
“And you’ll be my queen ‘til the end baby girl.”
I hear Danny open Blake’s door, “Jorel, why do you love me?”
“I don’t know. You cant describe love, it is a feeling that nobody can describe” He tells me. “But I wish I could so you could see that I truly do love you.”
I kiss his cheek, “I know you love me. You just proved it.”
“How?” he asks confused, but happy.
“If you can describe your love for somebody then it doesn’t take much thinking. If you truly love me it would take you years to find the right words to say to me.”
“And trust me, baby, it would take me years” He admits. “Which is saying something since I am so good with words.”
“Just not spelling them” I remind him, thinking of Danny asking him how to spell equipment on Christmas Eve.
He smiles and kisses me, tasting like peanut butter. “I don’t only love you, Willow Elizabeth Decker. I am in love with you.”
“I am in love with you, Jorel Michael Decker” I say smiling. For once I didn’t force myself to say it. I was truly in love with this man laying next to me. I hoped to spend forever with him. He will be a perfect father…

“JOREL!” I scream, tears streaming down my face.
The apartment remains silent. I forgot Jorel and Danny went out for a job interview then a drink. I reach for my phone and dial Charlotte’s number, she answers instantly, “What’s wrong?”
“Pain” is all I can say, trying not to scream.
“I’m coming down right now” She says, I hear her tell her Mathew she’d be right back as she shuts the door behind her.
I lay my head back, “Call Jorel.”
“I will when I get there” She hangs up as she unlocks the front door. “Willow?”
“In here” I shout from my bedroom. She runs in and sits on the bed next to me. “It hurts!”
She pushes my bangs away from my forehead “Breathe.” She says taking deep breaths herself.
I look at her and copy her breathing until my heart stops racing and the pain slowly decrease. I close my eyes as I breathe then open them to see Charlotte texting.
“Just telling Jorel” She informs me, closing her phone and putting it on the bed. “I bet he’ll be through that door in ten minutes.”
I smile, “He doesn’t need to. I’m just a crazy 5 month pregnant girl.”
“That hasn’t slept in two days and every time you eat you have to force yourself not to puke.”
“How did you know?” I ask her, knowing I hadn’t told her that.
“Willow I can read your mind. Always have been able to since we met. I know these things!”
We hear the front door open and listen as Jorel walks down the hall, “Baby you okay?” he asks as he walks into the room.
I smile up over at him, and take a deep breath, “I am now.”
“What he got some magical powers that I don’t?” Charlotte asks jokingly.
Jorel sits on the other side of me and pulls me close, “Yes.”
“Dude, one of these days we are having a magical battle!” Charlotte says, getting up to leave. “You okay now? I should go explain to Mathew why I kind of ran out of the apartment while making lunch.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Go” I say motioning her out the door. I watch her as she walks out, and listen as the door shuts behind her.
Jorel kisses my forehead, “Are you really okay?”
I look up at him, “Fuck no. My body hurts so badly it isn’t even funny.”
“I am sorry baby. I wish I could take all the pain away.”
I lay my head on his shoulder, “4 more months, baby. Four more months…”
“Hey baby?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you…um…” He hesitates, almost embarrassed. “Will you have a kid with me after?”
I look up at him, grinning, “Of course I will. I just never thought you’d want that.”
“I mean. I’d wait as long as you wanted to, since you are the one pushing a watermelon through your vagina.”
I laugh at his wording, “Yeah but I don’t want to wait too too long.”
“Like 3 years?”
“If that is what you think we should do.”
“Baby, everything is up to you.”
I turn my head on his shoulder and look up at him, “What do you want to name him?”
“I don’t know. If it is a boy I like the name Joel.”
I slap his shoulder, “That’s because it is one letter off from your name!”
“Soo…”
“What about a girl’s name?”
He thinks for a moment, “Gabriella Lilly.”
“Pretty. So we will have Blake James and Gabriella Lilly or Joel Something.”
“Can that really be his middle name?”
“No.”
“Damn. That would’ve been cool!”
I roll my eyes at him, then gasp in pain and accidently slam my head back into his shoulder. I feel him grip my hand and tell me to breathe. “Jorel!”
I hear him whisper in my ear, “I’m right here. Breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out” I breathe with him until the pain starts to relax.
I start to cry as I realize how much pain I am, “Jorel, it hurts.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
I look up at him, tears soaking my face, “What if there is something wrong with the baby?”
He wipes away my tears then holds my face in his hands, “There is nothing wrong with Blake. Nothing.”
“But what if…”
“No. Don’t you dare start saying What If’s, Willow. Everything will be okay. Trust me.”
“I do” I lay back down as the pain finally goes away. I feel the bed move as Jorel lays down next to me and wraps his arm around my waist.
“Don’t worry, beautiful.”
I turn my head to look at him, “How did the job interview go?”
“I got the job” He tells me smiling.
“How about Danny?”
“He got in too.”
“Speaking of Danny where is he?”
For a second Jorel is shocked then remembers, “At the bar with Dylan.”
“When do you start?”
“Tomorrow Night at 6” he says, eyes sad knowing he’d have to leave me alone. “Danny works during the days.”
“Baby, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. What time will you be getting home?”
“Around midnight. Don’t you dare wait up” He says kissing my nose. “But do you want me to work days or nights? My boss said Danny and I are allowed to switch schedules.”
“Nights. I rather have you here when I am awake.”
“Okay” he searches my eyes for a moment. “But I get three weeks off when Blake is born.”
“Three?” I ask. “Usually it is only two!”
“Yeah I know. But they gave me an extra week for being JDog. They wanted to give me longer but you know how I don’t like using my fame to get me stuff.”
Now it was my turn to kiss his nose, “I know, cutie.”
He laughs at me as I yawn, “Go to bed sleepy head.”
“Will you be here when I wake up?” I ask, my eyes already half way closed.
“As long as you wake up before 6 pm tomorrow.”
I laugh as I drift off to sleep. In the distance I can hear Jorel singing me to sleep, wrapping his arm tighter around my waist. I love him, so much. I want to spend forever with him. Fuck everybody else.