Unfixable
Don't Worry I'll Catch You, But Who's Going To Catch Me?
I never realized how much hate I'd feel seeing him again. I never realized how hurt I'd been all along. I never thought there'd be so much I still wanted to say but also didn't want it to be said. I could never let him know how much I hated him or how much pain I'd felt because of him. I never wanted to be weak or vulnerable in his eyes. I never wanted to be either of those things in anyone's eyes. I think my plan worked because everybody always came to me for advice or help. I never went to anyone. Maybe that's my problem. I'm too guarded. But after everything I've been put through, it's hard not to be. If you didn't know me and you saw me for the first time, you'd think: Wow. She's so happy. Her life is great." But in reality I'm not and it's not. Both far from. I'm miserable. I'm angry, hurt, tortured even. But mostly ow, I'm just broken. And I'm not fixable.