I'm Not Anywhere Close to Perfect

"What if they let him out?" I whispered to Beth. We were both sitting in her office. We just got back and I feel like I'm going to go into hysterics.

"You know the boys and I won't let anything happen to you, especially Leland." Beth said.

"Yeah, but--" I said stopping not being to say anything because I didn't know what to say. I sighed and just put my hands over my face and set my elbows on her desk table. "He always finds me. I never moved out of state before but I snuck out a lot and he found me. I ran away once and he found me. He always does." I said into my hands.

"We'll put a restraining order against him."

"Do you think that will stop him? He won't stop." I said looking at her.

"We'll figure this all out. You can stay with us tonight if that will make you feel better."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not getting all of you in it."

"You are apart of our family now, Aubree." Beth said putting her hand on my arm. "You can stay with us."

"I'll be alright." I said quietly. "I'm going to go now, if that's fine. I just need to go to bed early."

"That's fine, honey. Call me on my office phone when you get home so we all know your safe."

"Okay." I nodded. I walked out of her office and grabbed my purse that was on my desk and started shutting down my computer.

"You leaving?" Leland said behind me, making me jump ten feet in the air.

"Oh my God. You scared the shit out of me." I said putting a hand over my chest.

"Sorry." He laughed. "Are you?" I nodded. "You don't want to stay with Lyssa and I?"

"No. I just don't feel well." I sighed.

"Okay. Well, I'll walk you to your car." He said following me out.

"Alright." I laughed. I got in my car and Leland held my door open. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." He smiled. "Do I get a kiss?" He asked making my heart leap. I giggled and felt myself turn a shade of red. I nodded and he bend down and pecked my lips quickly.

"Bye." I laughed.

"Wait." He said before kissing me again. I smiled into the kiss put my arms around his neck. I could tell Leland wanted me to open up so I did.

"Damn!" I heard Duane Lee yell making me jump back from Leland.

"Duane Lee." Leland rolled his eyes. "I'll call you tonight." He said before shutting my door and going over to Duane Lee who was in front of my car and pushed him. Duane Lee was cracking up and I rolled my eyes before pulling out of the parking lot.

I drove to my apartment in silence. I know this may sound stupid but I don't know how Leland does it. He can literally make me laugh and smile at my lowest points. He's always there for me too. He's never acted like he didn't care. He hasn't told me that he had feelings for me yet so maybe he doesn't feel the same way. Then why would he kiss me if he didn't feel the way I felt? Ugh. I don't know.

I parked my car and locked my car doors and hurried to my apartment trying to avoid getting noticed by those guys that live around here. Unfortunately I have to walk right past one of their places going to mine and just my luck his door was open.

I was at my door when I heard a, "Hey!" I ignored it. "Hello?" I opened the door before having a can thrown at me. Luckily it missed or else I would've freaked out. I looked back at two guys who were laughing. I rolled my eyes and slammed my door behind me and locking the door.

I went to my bathroom to start getting ready for bed when I heard my doorbell ringing. I knew it was the boys outside trying to piss me off. I groaned and rolled my eyes. I tried to ignore it and go to sleep but it's kind of hard when a repetitive noise keeps going off.

I gave up trying to sleep when my phone started vibrating. I wanted to scream. I rolled over to my bed side table and didn't check the caller ID before answering.

"Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Hey. Did I call too late?" I heard Leland's voice fill my ears.

"It's fine." I said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I was just watching T.V." I lied.

"Oh. Is that noise from your T.V?"

"What noise? The ringing? That's my annoying neighbors being jackasses."

"Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, Leland." I laughed a little. "They're just being immature. I'll tell you if I need your help."

"Good" He laughed too. I heard banging on the door and I wanted to scream. It sounded like they were really hitting hard on the door.

"What the fuck." I yelled.

"What's wrong?"

"They're banging on the door really hard. It's weird."

"Are they trying to break in?"

"I don't think so. I mean, why would they?" I asked. I walked to the front door and looked out the peephole to see someone else trying to look through it. I stepped back quickly. Okay. I'm officially freaked out now.

"I'm coming over, Aubree." Leland said breaking through my thoughts.

"Why?"

"You're obviously not safe there. I'll be there in like five minutes.

"Fine." I gave up. Knowing Leland he wouldn't turn around. I sighed and walked back to my room and laid down on my bed waiting for him to come over. I was so tired I didn't even care I was in my pajamas with Leland about to come over.

I felt my phone start vibrating in my hand. It was a text from Leland telling me he was here so I walked over to the door and looked out the peephole and saw Leland turned around looking at those guys. I laughed and opened the door. I don't know why I found it funny. I just did.

"Hey." I said.

"Hi." Leland said turning around. I opened the door wider for him to walk through. He did and I just sort of stood there awkwardly.

"So, what are we going to do now?" I asked laughing a little wishing I changed. I was only in my shorts and a small ca-mi.

"Well what were you doing before I came over?"

"Uh, sleeping." I laughed.

"Oh, um. Well want me to leave?" He asked. Hm, I could have fun with this?

"Well if you want to leave you can, but I don't want you to."

"Then I won't." He smiled. I smiled back and laughed a little.

"Can we go to my room then? I want to lay down." I said. He nodded and we both walked to my room and laid down on my bed. I got under the covers but Leland didn't. "You don't want covers?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm good." He said. I nodded and turned on the T.V. to fill the silence. Leland shifted a little so he was a little closer to me, I'm not an idiot, he did it on purpose so I smiled.

"Do you want to snuggle?" I asked not wanting to wait for him. Plus, you'll probably never hear a grown man ask if he wants to snuggle. Just saying. He laughed and shrugged before snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I put my arm over his waist and laid my head on his chest. I sighed and yawned. I felt myself start drifting off because we were watching a movie that I've seen a million times so I wasn't interested at all.

"Aubree can I ask you something?" Leland spoke up waking me up.

"Sure." I said half asleep.

"Do you avoid your feelings?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just get this vibe from you that you hide your feelings all the time."

"When have I ever hid feelings from you, Leland?" I asked looking at him.

"With your dad and I know if I asked you something else personal you would probably wouldn't answer it either. I'm just curious that's all."

"Oh." I said quietly. "I guess I'd rather hide things from people than open up and get hurt, you know?"

"Yeah. Just seeing you today and how you were made me want to hurt who ever made you cry like that."

"Why?" I laughed.

"Because you mean a lot to me, Aubree." He said looking at me with the most genuine look on his face.

"You mean a lot to me too." I smiled at him. He smiled back at me in return.

"So, what are we going to do about Duane Lee? He's like a high school girl, he can't keep a secret for his life." Leland said making me laugh.

"Oh God." I shook my head. "What do you want to do about it?"

"Well, I don't care if everyone knows because I'm still going to act the same around you."

"That's fine. I'll do the same."

"Good." He smiled. I shook my head and laid back down. He started running his hand through my hair and that almost immediately put me to sleep along with listening to his heart beat and breathing.

I have no idea what you'd call Leland and I. But, he cares about me and I like him a hell of a lot so. Hopefully he's not just playing me or else work would not be a joy anymore.