Second Chances, Bad Habits

Drifting off to sleep on Ash’s shoulder, I felt his lips press against the top of my head.

“I love you so much Deli.” Something in Ash’s voice scared me, but I was too far gone to act on the emotion.

“And I don’t want you to ever forget that.” Was the last thing I heard Ash say, it seemed so far away. I was pretty sure he kissed me again, but I was falling faster into a deep sleep.

*******************

I woke up to my phone beeping, telling me I had a text message. Rolling over in bed, Ash wasn’t there. I sat bolt upright, and panicked a little. The words Ash had said last night flooded back. The sadness in his voice, the words he’d chosen, what he’d left.

Completely forgetting my phone, I ran to see if he was in the wardrobe. No.

Bathroom? No.

Kitchen, Living Room, Dining Room? No, no, no.

Where is he?......wait…..where’s everyone else? I’d just realised after running threw the entire house, the only room I hadn’t checked was the spare bedroom, and if no-one was in there, I was completely alone.

Slowly walking towards the guest room, I took a deep, placing my hand on the handle. Gently turning it, peered round the corner. But nothing, not one soul. The beds were made and everything, which means that they’d been gone for a while.

Dragging my feet, I slumped my way back to mine and Ash’s bedroom. Picking my phone up off the bedside table, I saw a the text from early, was from Ash.

To: Deli
From: Ashley
Hey could we meet up at subway? I have something I want to talk to you about. :/

…..Now the feeling of him leaving me was burning stronger than before. What was I going to do? Where was I going to go? Was he actually going to kick me out? Even if he did say it was over, without kicking me out, I’m not so sure I’d want to be anywhere near him.

To: Ash <3
From: Deli x
Sure just got up will be there soon.

I’d just put the phone back on the table when it beeped again, a simple ‘ok’. My panic started to rise, almost getting the better of me. Maybe it would just be better if I just left now, spare both of us the pain. But my body wasn’t letting me, instead I quickly got ready, not even putting any make-up on just in case. Pulling on my black skinnies, and my red check shirt, and some random jewellery. I grabbed my boots and headed for the door, snatching my phone on the way.

I dragged myself further and further towards the mall, where the guy I loved so much was waiting for me. Walking in through the entrance, and wading my way through the crowds, I saw Ash sat, nervously fiddling with a cup. Sitting down opposite him, my face was completely blank, nothing to betray what I was feeling inside.

“What did you want to talk about?” I asked, again no emotion to betray the torment inside. My words pulled Ash out of his trance, sadness filled his eyes, and even the his face. Whatever he was about to tell him, was going to be something upsetting for the both of us.

My fears grew, as Ash’s mouth gaped, no words leaving. Out of instinct, I held his hand, squeezing it, to try and comfort him. He closed his eyes, and breathed, before finally meeting my eyes again.

“I’m going on tour.” Relief hit me like a bomb, exploding at his words. I smiled the biggest grin possible, and pulled him into a hug on the little, benchlike, chair that we were sat on.

“That’s great!” I cried, happy tears flowing, although to Ash that would probably seem like an overreacted happiness, but to me, it was relief that I wasn’t losing him anytime soon.

“Deli, I leave next week.” Again, his words hit me, but this time with a less positive effect. He was leaving me, just not in the way I’d expected. I sat there, mouth open in shock. He was leaving.

“For how long?” I mumbled, worry emerging onto my face. The look on Ash’s face, scared me more than my original thoughts had. He was leaving, and he wasn’t going to be coming back anytime soon.