Second Chances, Bad Habits

“Mr. Purdy?” an emergency room specialist poked his head in the waiting room with an unreadable look on his gray, tired face.

“That’s me.” standing up I walked towards him, my stomach twisted in worry with every step.

“Can I speak with you in privet please?” my stomach dropped. In privet? That can not be good. Dear god what has happened to Deli and our children?

“Of course.”

The specialist pulled me out into an almost empty hallway, the look on his face was worse than before. He took a deep breath before speaking.

“Mr. Purdy,”

“Please call me Ash.” nodding he waved his hand tried to get back on topic.

“Ash, this is the worst part of my job,” Oh god no! Please don’t let him tell me that both Deli and our unborn children are no longer living. “I’m sorry to inform you of this but your girlfriend Deli was carrying twins and with the impact of the fall and the way she landed, the one on the right, the little girl, isn’t going to be alive when it comes time to deliver them.”

Covering my mouth with my hand I shut my eyes tightly letting the tears freely fall down my face. A little girl? No. No. NO! This can’t fucking be happening! She was supposed to live along with her other sibling and they were supposed to grow up happily not die in the womb.

“I’m so sorry son. The only good news I can tell you right now is that Deli is slowly recuperating and you’re son, the child on the left, is doing well given the circumstances.”

A son? A boy who won’t have a sister to annoy and grow up with? Thanking the doctor I slowly walked back to everyone in the waiting room that was waiting with bated breath to know what the doctor had told me. Tears were still running down my cheeks for my unknown and lost daughter. Earlier I had wanted two little girls and now I get none. My heart was heavy as I sat back down.

“Ashley?” Jake placed his hand on my shoulder looking me straight in the eye. “What happened? What did the doctor tell you?”

Everyone was on the edge of their seat waiting to hear what it was I had to say.

“He to-told me that Deli is going to be okay and so is our son,” a murmur of happiness broke out among everyone because they knew Deli and my son were okay. “but the second baby, our daughter, didn’t make it because of the fall.” crying harder I let my head drop into my hands. Everyone around me went silent.

“Ash, I’m so sorry.” Andy knelt down in front of me wrapping his arms around me.

“I-I” sobbing not know what else to do I hugged Andy tightly letting my tears soak into his shirt.

****

Fifteen minutes after the specialist came by the first time he walked past again. Stopping he walked in with a bittersweet smile.

“Mr. Purdy-I mean Ashley, would you like to see Deli? She’s starting to wake.” looking up at him I nodded.

“Please I need to see her.”

As a group Jake, Harry, Mason, Austin, Andy, Jinxx, CC, Jake and I followed the doctor down the long never ending hallway until we reached Deli’s. The doctor stopped me just before I walked in the room.

“Ashley, what I need you to do is break the news to Deli as gently as possible, her heart is weak right now,” nodding I sighed, I never in my whole life thought I’d have to do something like this.

“Can do sir.”

“Now, as for the rest of you. Once you hear Deli has woken up wait a few moments before going in. After waiting a few of you at a time can join Ashley and Deli. The goal is to not overwhelm her.” everyone mumbled an okay as they began to figure out who would go in when amongst themselves.

Slowing I turned the door knob and walked inside. Deli was hooked up to a couple machines one that was keeping her heart rate, another was monitoring her breathing, and a morphine drip hung above her head. Laying in bed Deli began to start hyperventilating, rushing over to her I placed my hands firmly on both sides of her face. She’s starting to come back, I wonder if she remembers anything at all.

“Deli, baby, calm down you’re fine, breathe……baby look at me..” slowly her eyes opened. “Breathe…” keeping my eyes focused on her I demonstrated how to breath normally so that she could do the same, after a few seconds it clicked for her and she began to breath at a slower pace.

“What happened?” her beautiful green eyes watered, in the background the doctor from before stepped in he nodded urging me to go on and tell her.

“Babe, you fell off of the stage, do you remember?” shit. She doesn’t remember. Swallowing hard I tried to keep myself together as I got ready to tell her everything.

“Where is everyone?” why is she worrying about everyone else!? What she needs to be worried about herself.

“Deli, do you remember?” asking her again I wanted to keep her focused on the topic at hand.

“I fell, and then I saw you, and that’s it.” chewing my bottom lip I felt my eyes water again. I don’t want to have to tell her this. Can I opt out and have the doctor standing behind me do it? “Ash?”

“Deli, you…the fall…the baby’s gone.”

“No….noo……NOOOOOO! NOOO!!!” pulling out of my arms Deli started sobbing. The heart monitor began to beep faster than it probably should have. In hopes of calming her down I tried to pull her into my chest but she just fought against my arms.

The guys ran into the room at the sound of Deli’s cries. Max and Aiden where the first in running over to Deli and I they were doing the same I as I was trying to get their arms around Deli to calm her down. When we couldn’t get her to stop Andy and Mason joined us trying in trying to get hr to lay back down on the bed. But it was just about pointless because she just continued to scream no and thrash about.

“Move aside, we’re going to have to sedate, she’s going into cardiac arrest.” the doctor who had been in the room shoved me aside and began to inject a needle into the IV in Deli’ arm. Within a minute Deli’s body fell limp. The room fell silent now that she was in a med induced sleep.

“What just fucking happened?” Andy’s eyes were wide with worry looking down at Deli.

“I just told her about the baby being gone and she freaked.” Max and I began to move her back into bed so she was laying in the middle of the thin mattress.

“Poor thing.” I noticed the tears in Max’s eyes when he pulled the sheet back over her lower body.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do guys…” falling into the chair next to Deli’s bed I took her hand in my and held it to my cheek.

“The only thing I think you can do is try to pick up and move on excepting that once the twins come you’re only going to have one child.” Jinxx stood next to me fixing Deli’s hair which and become tangled and matted during her freak out.

“I guess that about it then.” sighing I placed Deli’s hand back next on the bed.

***

Everyone was heading back to the hotel for the night and some how they had persuaded me to go back with them and at least clean up and get something to eat before staying the night with Deli in the hospital. Andy was laying on the bed when I finally walked in the room that I was supposed to be sharing with him and Deli tonight.

“You okay man?” sitting up Andy watched me carefully as I picked through my bag trying to find a clean pair of sweatpants and boxers.

“No. I’m not.” placing my clean clothes on the bed I sat down next to them.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Andy was my best friend, he always has been and probably always will we talk about everything but right now I just don’t’ want to talk about it.

“Not really. Maybe later. I need to get this shit off me so I can go back to the hospital.” pointing down at my dried war paint I sighed to myself.

“Okay. But Ash?” standing up I glanced over at Andy who had now gone back to lounging on the bed.

“Yeah?”

“If you need to talk about anything I’m always going to be here okay?” smiling thankful for his words I nodded.

“I know you are. Thank you Andy.”