Status: Updates are gonna be slow for a while, sorry :/
Second Chances, Bad Habits
Crawling on my Knees
Dragging my feet I slowly climbed aboard my empty tour bus. I felt the tears building up behind my eyes as I got closer and closer to my bunk. My whole body felt heavier than ever, and it hurt to just move my foot forward to move.
How could I have not known any of what the guys just told me? Am I really that stupid?
Fuck. Shit. Tits. Balls.
Ashley you need to get a hold of yourself. Jake said that if Deli and I are careful that Oscar and Amy won’t come earlier. But that doesn’t mean he was right. The stress of tour could be just enough to send Deli into labor. The constant picking up and going, not eating, and poor personal hygiene that touring brings can’t be good for her health or the twins. God what am I doing to her?
Crawling into my bunk I covered my face with a pillow. The tears that had been hiding behind my eyes began to fall, they soaked through the pillowcase making the whole pillow damp. My breathing was now coming and going quickly, I wanted to scream but I know that if I did someone would hear. And I sure as hell don’t want someone to see me like this.
Swallowing down my screams and sobs I buried my head farther into my pillow. What do I do if Deli goes into labor and Oscar and Amy come early? I know they won’t come fully developed, something would be wrong with their lungs, heart, liver, brain. Anything could be wrong with them. My throat began to burn. I don’t know if I could handle that stress. If I couldn’t handle that than there would be no way in hell that Deli would be able to either.
And if we don’t get home in time for her to have Oscar and Amy then we would have to stay wherever they were born until they were strong enough to come home. That is if they ever do become strong enough to come home. I’ve heard stories of families losing their children because of birth complications. I don’t know if I could handle that. I don’t think that Deli and I’s relationship could handle that strain.
“Ash?” a soft, familiar voice spoke to me softly. Pulling myself together I lifted my head off the pillow slightly.
“Baby what’s wrong?” Deli gave me a worried look as she pushed my hair from my face.
“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” rubbing my eyes I hoped that Deli would buy my lie. She doesn’t need my stress right now.
Deli pushed me over so that she could sit beside me. Placing her hands on my face she forced me to look her in the eye. Guilt rose in my throat but I managed to keep the guilty look from my eye.
“Ashley, don’t lie to me. I know something’s up.” I let out a small sigh. How could she tell?
“It’s nothing. I swear.”
“Bullshit Ashley.” again I let out another sigh. What do I say? I can’t tell her what’s wrong because I don’t want to worry her.
“Deli, relax I’m just a little stressed right now. Please calm down.” Deli huffed and rolled her eyes. Great don’t tell me she’s mad now.
How could I have not known any of what the guys just told me? Am I really that stupid?
Fuck. Shit. Tits. Balls.
Ashley you need to get a hold of yourself. Jake said that if Deli and I are careful that Oscar and Amy won’t come earlier. But that doesn’t mean he was right. The stress of tour could be just enough to send Deli into labor. The constant picking up and going, not eating, and poor personal hygiene that touring brings can’t be good for her health or the twins. God what am I doing to her?
Crawling into my bunk I covered my face with a pillow. The tears that had been hiding behind my eyes began to fall, they soaked through the pillowcase making the whole pillow damp. My breathing was now coming and going quickly, I wanted to scream but I know that if I did someone would hear. And I sure as hell don’t want someone to see me like this.
Swallowing down my screams and sobs I buried my head farther into my pillow. What do I do if Deli goes into labor and Oscar and Amy come early? I know they won’t come fully developed, something would be wrong with their lungs, heart, liver, brain. Anything could be wrong with them. My throat began to burn. I don’t know if I could handle that stress. If I couldn’t handle that than there would be no way in hell that Deli would be able to either.
And if we don’t get home in time for her to have Oscar and Amy then we would have to stay wherever they were born until they were strong enough to come home. That is if they ever do become strong enough to come home. I’ve heard stories of families losing their children because of birth complications. I don’t know if I could handle that. I don’t think that Deli and I’s relationship could handle that strain.
“Ash?” a soft, familiar voice spoke to me softly. Pulling myself together I lifted my head off the pillow slightly.
“Baby what’s wrong?” Deli gave me a worried look as she pushed my hair from my face.
“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” rubbing my eyes I hoped that Deli would buy my lie. She doesn’t need my stress right now.
Deli pushed me over so that she could sit beside me. Placing her hands on my face she forced me to look her in the eye. Guilt rose in my throat but I managed to keep the guilty look from my eye.
“Ashley, don’t lie to me. I know something’s up.” I let out a small sigh. How could she tell?
“It’s nothing. I swear.”
“Bullshit Ashley.” again I let out another sigh. What do I say? I can’t tell her what’s wrong because I don’t want to worry her.
“Deli, relax I’m just a little stressed right now. Please calm down.” Deli huffed and rolled her eyes. Great don’t tell me she’s mad now.
♠ ♠ ♠
This chapter was really hard for me to write which is why it's so incredibly short. My friend recently lost her daughter when she had twins leaving on only surviving. The whole ordeal took a toll on her and I used that pain that she had and just put it in Ashley's POV.I really hope you all liked it <3
Jessi!!! I've got a whole $500 saved up for England, (even though I need a bunch more money) I'll be there soon so we can party it up like the crazy people we are(: