Second Chances, Bad Habits

I’d stayed up until about 2am last night waiting for Ashley to come check up on me again. But I guess he wasn’t coming when I finally drifted off to sleep around 2:30. Luckily I was fine until about 6am. Mainly because Evangeline had gone and blabbed to my older brother and sister, Mathieus and Hawise, and they’d come up with pain-killers and a doctor, who they’d somehow persuaded to sneak in the house to have a look at my bruise on my stomach. I’d never thought to have it looked at, but then again they were older and smarter than me, as they 19 and 20. Turns out I have two broken ribs and a lot of internal bleeding. The doctor had bandaged me up and give me something for the pain. Telling me that the bleeding wasn’t from anything vital so I should be fine.

Slowly pulling myself out of my bed, I headed over to my shower and started to get ready for work. Yes I’m aware how insane that sounds, but the last thing I need is for my mum to get suspicious, especially seen as I was the reason we had to move in the first place. Back on England, we’d moved all over Yorkshire, but everywhere we went, no-one seemed to be able to accept my appearance, I’d come home battered and bruised almost everyday. Eventually it got so bad that they started on Evangeline too. Of course I tried to protect, but that only ended up with me in hospital. So you see why this has to stay on the down low. I know neither of my siblings would say a word. We were too close to betray each other like that.

Finishing my shower, I crawled out. Wincing as the pain started to return. Toweling myself off I went back into my room to get dressed.

“Here, you’re gonna need some of this shit again.” I jumped 10 feet in the air, not realising that Hawise was in the room with me. Turning round I stared at the tub of extremely thick make-up she held out to me. It’s strange, all of us look similar, except me, I have some differences. Hawise, Evangeline and Mathieus all have big brown eyes and are all 5ft6 or above, and naturally have light brown hair. Me, I have dark brown hair, jade green eyes and I’m only 5ft3. But we all have the same features other than that.

Taking the tub of thick foundation, I just smiled in thanks. Hawise was the cold one, well, that’s what people think when you first meet her. But if you’ve known her as long as I have you realise that she’s just scared to show you she cares.

I quickly got changed pulling on a Misfits top and some purple skinnies. Taking some of the pills the doctor had given, I started applying the cover up make up. As usual, it covered it up perfectly. The only thing showing now if my split lip, but there’s nothing I can do about that. Hopefully my mum would be too busy to care.

I tried my best to rush out of the house, but I kept stumbling. By some miracle, no-one noticed that I’d left.

I walked the way to Hot Topic, and arrived just in time.

“Right sweetheart, new stock’s here today, and you is gonna have to put it out for me. I’m havin’ to watch the counter. You know where everythin’ goes right?” Ruth blurted out to me, she looked extremely flustered. I’m guessing creepy kid was skiving or something.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I said, faking a smile. Ruth was panicking too much to notice my lip. Thank God.

I headed to the back of the store, hoping that none of the boxes would be heavy. When I got to the store room, there was a huge group of girls, all wearing similar black clothing, and all of them had strange black painted scars on one side of their face. Yup, L.A. has the weirdest people I have ever met.

“Erm…Can I help you ladies?” I said not sure as to whether they actually wanted to buy something or if they were just messing around. They all seemed to be around 16 though, so I’m guessing they’re definitely together.

“OH MY GOD! Has the new Black Veil Brides stock arrived? PLEEEASE say it has?” A girl nearest to me almost screamed at me.

“Um..I’ll go check, if it is, it’ll me on the racks soon, ok?” I said, nervous as hell. These girls kind of scared me.

“THANK YOU!” The same girl screamed. I ran into the store. Who were Black Veil Brides? Seriously people keep bringing them up, and they have some weird freakish fans.

Breathing, I made my way over to the piles of new merchandise. Taking the pen knife from on top of one of the boxes, I split one of them open. Pulling out one of the new bands t-shirts, I shook it loose of its folded state.

My eyes went wide, as my mouth gaped open. You have got to be kidding me. On the front of it a picture of 5 guys, all in leather and black paint, with their hair teased, posed. Underneath it said Black Veil Brides. But my eyes were focused on the guy second from the end. Ashley fucking Purdy, you lied to me. I knew I couldn’t trust him. He’s a fucking rock star, and if he’s fucking big enough to have stalkerish fans and be on t-shirts, then he’s big enough to get what he wants, and I ain’t talking about drugs and shit. He’s been using me. This whole time, the only thing he wanted was to get me in his bed. Fucking, jack-up, sexually-obsessed, manipulative, two-faced, lying, fuckwit.

My ranting thoughts were quickly interrupted when one of the fan girls screamed.

“Ashley!” Guilt twisted my stomach. Maybe I’ve overreacted. Breathe. Just breathe Deli, maybe he didn’t tell you for a reason. I mean if he told you, would you have stayed with him this long? And think if he didn’t care, why he came…..wait no he didn’t come see me like he promised. He’s only done things that better him, not me. He took you out on a date, for his benefit, he was going to invited you out for a piss-up, his benefit, and he didn’t come back to check up on you. Twat.

I stormed out of the store room, only to almost run head first into Ashley’s chest.

“What the fuck do you want?” I spat glaring at him. All his little fan-whores stared in shock at me.

“Why are you at work when you’re hurt? I called at your house to come check up on you, seen as I didn’t get back until late last night, only to have your sister tell me you’ve gone to work. Deli are you out of your mind?” He seemed to get more and more frustrated the longer he talked.

“I came to work, not that you’d care, because I have a normal life, where I have to work to get money, unlike some jacked up rock star!” I shouldn’t have said that. The look of hurt spread across his face. My hand shot up to my mouth. He did care. My gut even twisted in guilt at the words that had spilled out of my mouth. Even worse, the pain I’d just caused, I know won’t be fixed by a simple sorry. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore, I ran back into the store room and leaned against the door so no-one could get in.

My hand still over my mouth, sobs hit my body so violently, I cried even harder from the pain it caused me. A loud buzzing noise was in my ears, my heart felt liked it had been ripped from my chest, and stomach had fallen out of my butt. I’d only known Ashley for a few days, but already he’s having this effect on me. I’d hurt him, and all he’d done for me is be there for me and care for me. I always did this, I always push the ones who care away, the ones I love. I deserved this pain, for the pain I’d just caused him.

Once the sobs had subsided, the tears had dripped up and the buzzing in my ears disappeared, I thought it would be a good time to explain to Ruth my poor work ethic. Getting up and opening the store room door, Ashley was leant against the wall, waiting. I must have been crying for at least half an hour, and he was still here. Still here after what I’d said to him. I noticed his fans had gone, so why hadn’t he.

“I should’ve told you, I’m……I’m sorry.” He said, with his eyes closed, and his brow set in a frown. He looked so cute when he frowned, but it felt awful that I’d caused him to feel like this.

“Ash, it’s my…” Before I could finished what I was going to say, he swiveled round and pulled me into a tight hug.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear I wasn’t just using you.” He mumbled into my hair. Fresh tears spilled down my face, I felt so stupid, and here I was clinging to a rock star, crying my eyes out.

He didn’t say anything else, he just stroked my hair and hugged me. I think he was singing to me, but I was too busy screaming at myself in my head. I’m so stupid. But I still wish I didn’t know about his ‘secret’, I wish he would have told me. I’d started to trust him, but he hadn’t trusted me, not enough enough to tell me he was in a band. He didn’t have to tell which one, I just wish I’d have known. This just caused me to start crying even harder, making my legs buckle from the pain it was causing my stomach. Ash followed me down on to the floor. I seemed completely oblivious to everything else. The only reason I was crying now was because of the pain. Ashley probably thought I was pathetic, just crying like a idiot of something as silly as him being in a band. Why was he still here? Why didn’t he go, go and tell his friends how pathetic and clingy I am. Deli get a grip, stop crying, and talk to the guy whose stupid enough to be sat on the floor with you. Do it, now.