M. Shadows' Lips of Deceit

“So when do you think we can give ourselves another chance?” Impatiently but softly he blurts out, his eyes closed trying to picture her smiling face.

“In a couple of week’s maybe…”

“I miss you. What’s gonna happen in a couple of week’s to change that?” He was speaking so lightly; the opposite of what he was feeling inside. His stomach had been turned upside for quite sometime now and the home that holds his heart weighs more every passing day without her.

“Have you talked to Bri? Michelle called saying he was heading over to talk about something important.”

“They’re back?”

As she replies with a ‘mhm’ she nods her head slightly, like he was there sitting across from her. He can’t see the slight tremble that works up and down her body when she speaks.

“What’s wrong?” But he knows it’s there.

“I’ll talk to you later ok?”

“Val,” He starts,

“I love you.” She speaks in a rush and hangs up after his ‘you’.

“I love you too,” The silence after disconnecting echoes through his ears and he hangs up before the disconnected beep can pulse through. Pressing through his contacts he hits Brian’s name and waits for the call to go through. The familiar ring tone beeps out from the outer side of the front door; Matt rises with his eyebrow and is reaching for the lock a second later. He closes his phone as he steps back to open up the metal door.

“Hey dude,” The mid-day sun is flooding Brian’s face, momentarily blinding Matt whose living room is a mass of normal lights. Matt nods with a ‘hey’ and walks back over to the couch, letting Brian let himself in and closing up the crack of blinding daylight.

“So, what’s important?” Brian’s face scrunches lightly, not expecting Matt to think anything was up, he sits down in the recliner to left of the couch and sighs before charging right into the what.

“Uh…er…I’m not sure how to say this…” A lot easier thought then done, hesitantly Brian struggles with his words.

“She seeing someone else.” Matt states blankly with an uncharismatic sigh of disappointment.

“Um…I don’t know about that…I don’t think so…from what I barely noticed I think he dumped her.”

“Who?” Interested, Matt barks and adverts his eyes to Brian’s, who was glancing at him uneasily the whole time.

“I don’t know…”

“Well what the hell do you know? Why the hell are you here?”

“You think I’m talking about…” He whispers to himself catching on and unknowingly chews lightly on his already short thumb nail. “…We were leaving the hotel and some fucking people were fucking screaming at this chick, how she fucked up and-“

“What’s the relevance?” Matt interrupts kind of calmly, kind of annoyed and Brian just blurts out “She got knocked up by you.” So there’s a pause of all noise making things in the room; Brian steals a few glances over at Matt who is spaced out with an open mouth and creased forehead. “Me? Likely.” He says sarcastically with a look to an edgy Brian. “Come on dude that sounds fucking-I mean how many fan girls-that just can’t-“

“I didn’t get a look at the girl and I didn’t get her name but there was something awfully fucking familiar about one of the other ones and the way they were going at it just-it didn’t sound like a hoax, mistaken maybe but-“

“Maybe? Obviously you mean. I haven’t fu-“ Brian nods as Matt stops midsentence, the creases in face digging deeper and his hands tensing tighter against the couch.

“It was up at the Holiday Inn Select about two an’ some hours from here…and we were room 433 so that’d make her at room…” Thinking back and counting lightly on his fingers he continues with, “436.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah…you should go see her…” He nearly whispers through a teeth clenched bottom lip.

The weight that seemed to have been pressured on his heart now seems to be vibrating in uneasy thumps of fear. “Does she know?” Matt asks from what feels far away to him.

“Not exactly, we wanna’ keep it quiet till you know for sure…”

As Matt sits there swallowing back chokes and words, he struggles to get up. Appearing to be sitting so still but on the inside he’s running and falling, all together freaking out. Brian doesn’t think of saying anything else, just sits there in silence for support, until, or unless Matt says something first.

And then what feels like an hour or something later, actually only a couple minutes, Matt stands to his feet, giving the room a stalling look over. “I can go with ya if you want man, you don’t have to go alone.”

Shaking his head Matt mouths no, thinking he heard himself say it. Brian caught it though and nodded, getting up and turning his way towards the front door. The front door that would open up into something new…

She shrugs her shoulders against the leather of the couch as she nuzzles her face against his chest restfully. His eyes are closed and he’s breathing deep and heavy with his arm around her neck and shoulders. A thundering bang knocks from the front of the bus a couple of minutes later jerking the both up them straight up, their heads colliding in different areas.

“Ah,” He mutters lightly, rubbing his chin. Jimmy and Johnny are few away on the outside howling to get inside.

Realizing just where she was at, Viktoria, steps to her bare feet in a alarm. She looks at Matt for a second, who’s looking at her, they exchange some sort of silent understanding…She picks up her shirt, that happened to be tossed across the table, and pulls it over her body. She shudders slightly with the feeling of fabric covering up her naked body.

After pulling on her pants she looks for her shoes, noting that Matt already had on his pants and shirt. He lives here, doesn’t have to wear shoes if he doesn’t wanna. A shoe under the table and the other on the arm of a different couch; she pulls them on sockless and checks to make sure her cell is still stuffed in her jean pocket. Then she runs a hand through her hair, Jimmy and Johnny still pounding the hell out of the door.

Do you say goodbye after these sorts of things? Just bye? You had a good time, it was nice? Or just nod and leave? When you wake up to the other person sleeping it’s a lot easier, it’s also a lot easier when their friends aren’t hammering your escape.

“Bye,” He whispers from her right and when she looks over to his face a small smile is visible.

“Goodbye,” She says smacking her lips lightly together, her fingers folding into the rim of her pockets. After a couple of seconds of silence she nods to herself slightly and wonders her eyes to the door, the door that’s being relentlessly pounded on.

She nears the door, not afraid of getting off but afraid of leaving. Concerts goes by like the speed of light. Before stepping down the step to door and turning the metal handle his hand swathes around her wrist, throwing her out of thought. And as she turns around about to speak his lips crash onto hers once more.

When you can’t say goodbye or can’t find the right words to depart lips do the best talking. Or according to Shads.

His bone white knuckles shine against his tan skin because of him gripping the steering wheel so tightly. The LCD blue light of the time shines against the black of the radio system, showing him he’s been parked there for almost half an hour now. Matt breathes in through his nose, trying to rid the residue from his crying previously.

His bottom lip is pink with chew as he gets out of the car, hitting the beep to the alarm quickly. Just get it over with. Part of Matt wants to just go up that door and beat on it till his hand is swollen, maybe she won’t answer if he really beats on it. But the other part of him wants to be calm about it, needs to be calm about it.

With every step closer, ever turn in the hall or into the elevator the breath in his lungs escapes. As if small puncture holes were made randomly and now when he’s drowning he needs the air the most. He’s scared of what she’ll say and what he, himself, won’t.

Tap, tap, tap…