Adolescent Suicide

St. Petersburg, Russia

The two of them had sectioned themselves off from everyone else on their journey to Russia. By now, all the members of the band knew about Sicily being pregnant. It seemed that it was all they could talk about. And no one seemed to notice how much it was killing Mercy and Frank. Every time someone mentioned the pregnancy, or children, they both winced and turned their eyes towards each other, the deep sadness mirrored in both hues. Yet, no one noticed. No one but Mikey.

He cornered her at the airport as they waited for their flight. She had left the gate to go and grab something to eat, since her stomach was starting to rumble loudly, getting odd looks from people who had passed by. She hadn’t even noticed him following her as she entered the small coffee shop that was just across the terminal.

“You want to tell me what’s going on with you and Frank?” he asked softly, making her jump and turn, ready to kick someone’s ass.

Seeing that it was only him, her face fell and she turned back to the menu, shrugging. “it’s nothing. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it,” she muttered.

She really didn’t want to talk about it with him. He couldn’t understand. No one did. Mikey was due to get married soon, and then he’d have a family. Ray and Bob weren’t too far behind. And Sicily and Gerard were already starting as well. It was her and Frank who weren’t in the little loop. While everyone else talked baby talk, they sat close together, whispering and comforting one another from the heartache that was plaguing the both of them.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Mercy, I’m not blind. I can see that something is wrong with you and Frank. So, if you don’t tell me, I’ll go find out from him.”

Damn it. She knew that he had a good point. Frank sucked at holding in his feelings. If Mikey were to approach him, asking what was wrong, Frank would surely tell him. Not out of malice, but because it helps to have someone else to talk to sometimes. She wouldn’t blame him for it. She just didn’t want the rest of the group brought down because of their sadness. It didn’t seem worth it to her.

She sighed and peered at him over her shoulder, cocking an eyebrow. “Mikey, what if Alicia couldn’t have kids? What if all your friends were starting families, but you haven’t? Not because you don’t want to, but because you can’t? Tell me, how would you feel?”

Realization crossed through his eyes and he turned them down to the tiled floor of the coffee shop. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he kicked one of his feet, scuffing the floor. Mercy said nothing, merely nodded and turned back to the front. The guy behind the counter took her order, then she stepped back so that the next person could order. Out of nowhere, Mikey wrapped his arms around her. Her body stiffened, her eyes wide.

“Please, don’t pull away. We both know that you need this,” he whispered.

He was right. He always was. Mercy found herself loosening up. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she held onto him tightly, her body shaking with soft sobs. They stood like that, in the middle of the coffee shop, Mikey comforting his dearest friend about something that no one could control.

That had been yesterday. They were now situated at the small hotel outside of St. Petersburg. A light snow was falling outside, sprinkling the ground with little white flurries. The sky was a deep grayish blue, threatening to open up more and allow the onslaught of snow to fall upon them, burying them, suffocating them. Mercy was situated in front of the one of the large bay windows, wrapped in a blanket, her knees tucked up to her chest with her arms around them. Her blue eyes were trained on the world outside, watching it pass her by as the day wore on.

Every now and then, someone would come up and attempt to engage her in conversation. She must’ve looked lonely, sitting there by herself, but it was quite the opposite. She felt content, in a strange way. She said nothing to the people who approached her, just continued to look outside. The surrounding buildings were slightly sprinkled with snow, casting a serene look over the city of St. Petersburg.

She was still situated there when Frank appeared to her left. He slid a large white box into her lap with a sweet smile. She returned it, picking up the box and giving it a small shake.

“What’s this?” she asked, arching a brow, her voice soft.

“Well, open it. It’s for tonight.”

Her curiosity overcame her and she pulled the lid off of it. A deep blue color met her eyes as she tossed the lid aside. Her hands went to touch the fabric before she pulled it out. Yards of dark blue silk skimmed her fingertips, feeling cool against her skin. A dress? What the fuck? Mercy stood and held the item in front of her. It was long, skimming the floor. Although Mercy wasn’t usually one to dress up, she had to admit that it was gorgeous. Arching a brow again, she looked at Frank.

“Frank, where are you taking me tonight?” she asked, sitting back down, folding the dress up on her lap.

“Oh, wait. Something else,” he said, ignoring her question as he walked away, over to the couch. He picked something up, then returned, setting it in her lap. It was another box, one that was much more smaller than the first, but heavier. She couldn’t help but smile as she shook her head, lifting the lid of this one a bit quicker than she had the previous one. Inside were a pair of a deep gold high heeled shoes. Letting go of the dress, she pulled one out, waving it at Frank.

“Are you trying to kill me tonight?” she asked, giggling slightly.

“Nope. But I think with you in that dress, with those shoes, you might just kill me,” he said, grinning at her suggestively.

Mercy couldn’t help but blush as she put the shoe back. She was not thoroughly confused as to where they were going that night. He had promised her something different for St. Petersburg, and she was intrigued. Especially if she had to dress up. Frank held a hand out to her, helping her up. He swiftly kissed her, then took her things from her, setting them down on one of the end tables.

“You’ve got a few hours to get ready. Be downstairs at exactly 7 p.m. Okay?”

She nodded, kissing him once more before he left her alone in the hotel room.

*********Time Elapse*********

She felt like a dancing monkey on drugs, stumbling around the small hotel room in the heels. Mercy never wore heels. Never. She didn’t like them since they killed her feet. Besides, she preferred to be comfortable instead of pretty. But if Frank insisted, then damn it, she would wear them. Even if it killed her. Glancing up at the clock, she realized that she had about ten minutes to get downstairs. She was going to be late. She walked at a snail’s pace in the murderous things.

Mercy tossed her cell phone into her purse, followed by some lipstick and some cash. She took one last glance in the mirror, ensuring that her hair was perfectly curled around her shoulders. Her blue eyes were lined with some gold eyeliner that had small sparkles in them. Little gold clips were holding bits of her hair back so that nothing covered her face. For some odd reason, she felt nervous. It felt kind of like prom all over again. Except bigger.

Locking the door behind her, she made her way to the elevator. As she passed down the hallway, the guys would poke their heads out of the rooms. Obviously they were in on the scheme. They would wolf-whistle and catcall towards her, making her shake her head, blush, and chuckle at them. Once the elevator landed on the bottom floor, she exited. She became very self-conscious as she passed through the lobby. Everyone seemed to be looking at her. She told herself to breath normally, that it wasn’t that big of a deal.

She paused on the outskirts of the marble tile, looking around for Frank.

“Well, don’t you just look stunning.”

Mercy turned, surprised. There stood Frank, in a tuxedo. His black hair was messily adorning his head, his hazel eyes without makeup. A smile was fixed on his face as he looked her up and down approvingly. She pursed her lips, waiting for him to end his inspection. Apparently pleased, he offered her his arm. Mercy took it, then was led across the lobby. If she thought she had gotten some looks just passing the outer parts of the lobby, it was nothing compared to what they receiving in that moment.

“Frank, people are staring,” she muttered, her brow furrowed as she caught people’s eyes.

“That’s because the world’s most beautiful woman is walking through the hotel,” he replied softly, giving her a sweet and innocent smile.

Her face went even more red as they exited the hotel.

*********Time Elapse********

Mercy snuggled into her coat as the limo came to a halt. Frank still hadn’t told her where they were going, or what they were doing. He just kept smiling at her, telling her that she would soon found out. His eyes were making her uncomfortable, the way they were always on her during the entire trip. She didn’t think she looked all that different! Just a bit more dolled up. She was still Mercy. Just wearing a dress. And heels which were starting to give her blisters.

Frank opened the door to the limo, then helped her out. They were parked outside of a large building lit up by small lights pointed at the soft green and white walls. People dressed up like they were were making their way inside, talking in hushed Russian. Mercy arched a brow over at Frank as he offered her his arm. She took it, but didn’t step forward when he did.

“Frank? Where are we?” she asked for the thousandth time.

“We are at the Mariinsky Theatre, Mercy. I told you we were doing something different tonight. And what we’re doing is watching some traditional Russian opera,” he said, giving her a huge smile, quite proud of his little handiwork.

Opera? Well, that was by far the most strangest thing she had ever heard in her life. Where in the hell did he get that idea? Not that she minded. She didn’t mind trying new things, and she had never watched an opera before. Not even in English, let alone Russian. Mercy sent him a sweet smile before they continued on their way inside.

Her heels clicked on the lacquered floors of the foyer. Her blue eyes were wide, taking in the gold gilded walls, the domed ceiling with beautiful artwork displayed on it. It was gorgeous. She could hear the guttural noises of the Russian language being spoken around her. People in gold and blue uniforms were handing out small pamphlets near the doors. Frank took one and handed it to her before taking his own. Her blue eyes scanned the front page, her mouth moving as she quietly read the words aloud.

“La forza del destino” by Giuseppe Verdi.

“This doesn’t sound Russian,” she muttered to Frank, pointing to the title of the opera.

He shook his head, pointing to the second page where it described the history of the show. “It’s originally Italian. But it’s quite famous here in St. Petersburg. I’m afraid we won’t be able to understand a thing,” he said, furrowing his brows slightly.

She couldn’t help but chuckle as he led her to their seats down near the front, almost directly behind the orchestra. She had no idea how he got such good seats, but she didn’t care. This was amazing, and she knew that it would be a night that she would always remember, no matter what. Her previous depression seemed to fully evaporate in Frank’s presence and she was instantly glad that she had decided to come on this tour. So far, it had been nothing but good.

The lights dim and the opening chords begin to play. Frank reached over and grasped her hand, giving her a smile before they were plunged into darkness, into the realm of ‘The Force of Destiny’.

**********Time Elapse**********

Mercy chuckled, wiping away some tears. Though she hadn’t understood a word of what they were saying, she understood the music, the sorrow in their voices. It was moving and completely beautiful. Even Frank had sniffled a few times throughout it. It had been a twist on Romeo and Juliet, in a way, yet it seemed more tragic and heart wrenching.

She cuddled into Frank in the back of the limo on their way back to the hotel. It was nearing midnight, and she felt extremely exhausted. A yawn escaped her lips, earning a laugh from Frank as he rubbed her back. Her eyes began to flicker close as the limo moved over the streets of St. Petersburg. He gently placed a kiss to the top of her head before leaning his head back against the headrest.

“I love you Frank,” Mercy whispered.