Make Me Better

What was I supposed to say? Maybe, I shouldn't say anything at all. Just keep my awkward feelings to myself, it would be less embarrassing that way. Or, I could just tell Frank I was freaking out because we actually had sex. He would probably think I was overreacting. I was overreacting. I shook my head slightly to get rid of my thoughts.

"Nothing." I told him, quietly. The look of confusion didn't leave his face, we stared at each other for what seemed like countless minutes. I looked away from him and at my hands, then back at him.

"What?" I asked with a smile and fake laughter. Which didn't work, if I might say. Frank grabbed my hand in his and tugged on it softly, motioning towards the front porch. I let out a tiny frustrated groan but I nodded anyways. I turned my head slightly, Lindsey was looking at me, her mouth turned upwards into a smile, I glared at her before Frank pulled me outside. Why was I such a crappy liar? Or, why was Frank able to read me so easily? There's certain things Frank shouldn't know, for example, me feeling weird after having sex.

"What's wrong?"

"I said nothing." I replied quickly.

"There's something wrong." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. I walked further onto the porch, deciding to sit down on the swinging chair. I sat and rocked back and forth slowly. It was quiet for a moment or two before Frank spoke again,

"So?" I forced myself to look over at him, he was staring at the ground. My heart started to beat rapidly and I felt my cheeks flush. It wasn't my intention to get embarrassed, but I couldn't control it.

"There isn't anything wrong. Why won't you believe me?" I asked, sighing loudly.

"Because I know you're lying."

"I am not!"

A smile formed on his thin lips, "You are."

"Its nothing,really." I looked down at my shoes, watching them as they kicked back and forth. I heard him sigh.

"It has something to do with yesterday, right?"

"Ugh." I groaned.

"I figured."

"It's nothing to do with you, actually. Its all me." I spoke quickly.

"If you didn't want to do it, you could've said so. I would have stopped, Oli. You know I would've."

"It isn't that. I'm just embarrassed. " I shrugged, "I just... I don't know. It feels weird to be around you now." Why couldn't I be normal? I had to make things so complicated. I stood up, swaying in my spot,

"Is that weird?" I asked.

"I don't know." I saw him shrug his shoulders. He sounded distant, his voice was low and sad.

"This is all on me, ok? I don't regret doing it, especially because it was with you but I can't help how I feel. "

"I feel like its my fault, I shouldn't have given in."

"But I wanted it, so shut up." I said, smiling over at him. He shook his head, and I wanted to go over and hug him but my new found shyness wasn't letting me.

"I guess sex just scares me. " I added, "It isn't anything against you. Ugh," I sighed, running my hands through my hair, "I'm sorry I'm so difficult."

"Then we don't have to do it anymore. Not until you're absolutely ready for it." Frank said, by then I had gained some confidence, I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"You're the best." I mumbled into his chest, "Maybe you should go find another girl, one who isn't so awkward."

"Nah, I think I'll just stick with you forever." I laughed softly,

"Forever, huh?" I asked, pulling away slightly.
He grasped my face in his hands, "Forever and ever."

"You're so cheesy." I scrunched up my face.

"And its all your fault, Olive." I smiled as I leaned closer to him, pecking his lips.

"I'm sorry, again."

"Its fine, Oli. As long as you don't hate me for it."

"I could never hate you." I replied, lacing our hands together. He scoffed and pulled away from me,

"You're so cheesy." He grinned. We both exchanged looks before laughing.