Make Me Better

I seriously didn't know what was going on with me. I didn't like it either. I was going fucking crazy and I figured to get over my problem I just had to distance myself. That didn't really work, either. It also didn't help that Frank thought I wasn't 'ready'. I didn't like the way I was feeling, I mean, it was quite embarrassing.

"If it isn't my little vixen." Frank patted my head.

"You're the worst." I snapped, moving away from him. I gave him a hard glare," you know, it isn't fair. I said I was ready a billion times, and it really isn't helping my ego that you keep denying me. I might as well go find what I want somewhere else." Ok, I was exaggerating on the last part.

"I need you to be sure. You telling yourself you're ready doesn't really mean anything. And I'm not denying you, I'm just stalling a bit." He said, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me against his chest. He leaned down, his breath hit my neck,

"You wouldn't dare try and find it somewhere else." He whispered into my ear. I groaned, pushing away from him,

"You aren't helping! I suggest you don't touch me, 'cause it only makes things worse." I sounded like a goddamn whore. I was practically begging for sex. But geez, everyone has needs, it still didn't change the fact that it was embarrassing. Frank really had me wondering, was he really waiting for me to be 'ready'? Or did he just not want to have sex at all? Oh, my god, what if I was extremely horrible the first time? Well, it wouldn't be such a surprise, it was my first time.
My thoughts clouded my mind, making me feel nervous and uncomfortable. I walked ahead of Frank, skipping down the stairs, I spotted his car and I started to walk in that direction. I could hear Frank's footstep's close behind. The ride to my house was quiet, and I wasn't sure if it was the good kind of silence

When Frank pulled up next to my house, I opened the door quickly, just wanting to get away from him,

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Frank asked, I turned to look at him, frowning slightly.

"I am not. I just have to talk to my mom." I shrugged a shoulder. I was lying, badly. I gave him a smile, "Thanks for driving me home, see you tomorrow." I walked quickly to the front door, opening it quickly, once I was inside, I pressed my back against the wall, sighing softly.

"What are you doing?"

I snapped my gaze to my mother, who was staring at me oddly. "Nothing." She smiled a little as she shook her head. I opened my mouth to say something but closed when I figured I would sound stupid.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. Never mind." I pushed myself off the wall, picking my messenger bag off the floor and placing the strap over my shoulder.

"Tell me." She sang, a smile creeping up on her lips. I hesitated for a moment, my mom was understanding and I knew if I should be talking to anyone, it should be her.

"Well," I started, "This is like, way embarrassing to say." I could feel my cheeks heating up as I spoke, "I.. Well. I think. I know I'm ready to umm.... do stuff with Frank. But, he doesn't think I'm ready. It just really frustrates me. I mean, I'm starting to think that maybe he doesn't want to have sex with me."

"Aw,"

I glared, "Mom, seriously."

"Ok," She stopped smiling, "I'm going to be serious now." She tugged on my hand pulling me over to the couch.
"Well, maybe you really aren't ready, Olive."

"Oh, not you too." I rolled my eyes. She laughed slightly, "Maybe in Frank's eyes you aren't ready. You should be happy that you have an understanding boyfriend. And I'm sure he wants to, Olive, he just doesn't want to make it seem as if he's forcing it upon you." I thought, quickly, pondering over her words. It still didn't make that much sense.

"But I'm so annoyed!"

"Your hormones are going crazy." She patted my knee and stood up, "So are mine."

"Ew. Mom." I covered my ears and walked away from her. My mom didn't really help, if anything she was pretty much saying everything Frank had said.

The next day, I found myself at Lindsey's house. Gee was there, too. Lindsey and I watched a stupid soap opera while Gerard sat on the floor drawing.
Like always, everyone else got word and ended up at Lindsey's house. Gerard went downstairs with the rest of the gang while Lindsey and I stayed upstairs in her room.

"Still sexually deprived?" Lindsey poked my side. I groaned, hiding my face into one of her pillows.

"Just fucking show up at his house naked, I'm pretty sure he can't deny you then." She winked.

"Yeah, yeah." I mumbled. She pulled me off her bed and dragged me out into the hall, I trudged behind her as we went downstairs. I sat next to Gerard on one of the couches, peeking over his shoulder to look at his drawing.

"That looks like Lindsey." I commented.

"It is." Gee responded.

"Gerard! What did I tell you about drawing me?" Gerard turned to look at her, "But you looked so pretty while you were sleeping."

"Creep." Bob laughed.

Gerard set his pencil down, "Anyway, the guy that owns that bar downtown wants us to perform friday night. I told him I would have to discuss it with you guys first, so?"

"That's so cool!" I exclaimed, looking around at the guys. Ray was the first to respond, letting out a loud 'yeah'.

"I'm so nervous, what if I forget the lyrics? What if I throw up? " Gerard said to no one in particular.
I glanced over at Frank, we locked eyes and I felt my heart hammer against my chest. He smiled widely and motioned towards the front porch. I got slowly, walking behind him as we went outside.

"So, are you excited about Friday?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Totally. But I really hope Gee doesn't forget the lyrics. I hope I don't forget any notes. Its all just nerve wracking."

"I bet all of you will be fine." The sun was setting, the sky was all shades of orange. I looked up into the sky, staring at the oddly shaped clouds.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Frank asked. I looked over at him, I nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"I thought you were doubting me, with everything going on."

"No. I just-" He cut me off with pressing his lips against my own. His strong hands cradled my face as he pushed me against the wall. I held onto his forearms, pulling him as close as possible. We made out for seemed like an eternity, I didn't mind, I was enjoying myself. But Frank just had to go and pull away.
I frowned, "What?"

"Wanna go over to my house?" He asked, a small smirk forming on his beautiful lips. I nodded and laced my hand in his as we walked to his car. Frank didn't live too far from Lindsey, so we were at his house in no time. Well, we made it as far as his driveway. Frank had surprised me when he pulled in for a kiss, I didn't object. It was quite uncomfortable, to be honest. I got tired of my body being twisted in a weird way, I crawled into his lap, I was squished against the steering wheel and Frank's body, but I didn't care. I knew things were going to go further than just making out when Frank's hand traveled under my shirt, he unclasped my bra and I pulled away from him to pull my shirt over my head. He slid my bra off and we resumed kissing. He trailed kisses all over my chest, making me squirm and shiver.

"Is this what you want?" Frank asked in a husky tone. I couldn't form any words as he sucked on my neck. I could only nod. His fingers ghosted over my stomach, making me shiver. He unbuttoned my jeans and slid the zipper down slowly, making me wiggle slightly. I tugged on the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his chest.

I rested my hands on his chest, looking up into his hazel eyes. I leaned in closer, pressing my lips to his softly.
"I can't take my pants off." I said, wiggling around in his lap. He turned to look into the backseat, I got the idea and wiggled myself over the seats and into the backseat of the car. the backseat was so much more comfortable that the driver's seat. I pulled my pants off, throwing them into the front of the car. I laid down, and then I finally realized that I was practically naked in Frank's car. In Frank's driveway, where anyone could pull up and see us. I felt Frank's hands at my hips, I looked up at him, his hair was slightly messy and it made me smile. He slipped my underwear off and I felt a slight thrill, anyone could pass by and see us, and for some reason the thought of it excited me. But deep down, I prayed that no one would catch us.