Make Me Better

"Maybe we should stop." I groaned loudly, and sat up a bit, pressing my forehead against his. It was hot in his car and my legs were starting to go numb because the backseat wasn't really spacious. I zipped up my jeans and re-adjusted my shirt.

"I don't want to do this if we're not together." Frank said. I nodded," I'm sorry I got carried away." I looked up at him, feeling torn. I wanted this, I wanted to be with Frank. But I knew it was too soon. "I'll see you at school on Monday, ok?" I said, pressing my lips to his cheeks. My body was all tingly as I walked home, I was still confused, maybe even more confused than I was before. I let myself get carried away but I was glad that Frank had suggested we stopped before things went too far.

The next day at school, I didn't have anyone to hang out with. Mikey was with his girlfriend and I felt a bit awkward if I went to hang out with Frank. I sat on the front steps and tapped my foot impatiently. I had feeling people were staring at me, probably for what I did to Jenna. I was quite surprised that I hadn't seen her yet. Maybe she got the message and decided to leave me alone.
My english teacher decided to partner us up, which annoyed me. I wasn't in the mood to socialize with anyone.

"I'm Brian." The kid with the light messy brown hair greeted. He had bright green eyes and a perfect smile. He could've been a football player, he probably was.

"I'm Olive." I smiled. A smile formed on his lips, "I've heard about you." I groaned, "Hasn't everyone?"

"I thought it was pretty funny," He chuckled, "Jenna got what she deserved."

"You don't like her?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I sort of dated her." He frowned, "Way back. Let's just say she wasn't the greatest girlfriend. I heard about your boyfriend and I'm sorry."

"Yeah," I mumbled, "I'm sorry, too."

Brian was pretty nice and I felt comfortable around him, we talked about various things and we didn't do much of our assignment. We walked out into the hall after class, that's when I spotted Jenna. She was starting straight at us. I wanted to laugh at the small cut on her nose, but I refrained. I figured she was getting the wrong idea, I wasn't interested in Brian but I knew that's the way Jenna saw it.

"Just ignore her." Brian caught my attention.

"I try." I replied. Lunch time rolled around and I decided that I wasn't going to be a loser and spend it alone. I walked over to 'our' table, Mikey was reading a comic book, while Frank was playing around with his food.

"Hi." I greeted. Mikey looked up, adjusting his glasses quickly, "Hey, Olive. Long time no see." I chuckled, "I know." Frank didn't look up at me, he stared down at his food, poking his fork into an apple. I sat down next to Mikey, right across from Frank. I had made things worse, now he wouldn't even look at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and bit the inside of my cheek, I wanted to know what was wrong but I didn't want to have this conversation in front of Mikey. Mikey didn't seem to notice the awkwardness, he talked to the both us as if nothing was going on. I was grateful for it, anything was better than silence.

"Are you okay?" I asked Frank, jogging to catch up to him. He turned around quickly, looking down at me.

"Do you have a thing with Brian?" He asked.

"What? " I asked quickly, he groaned, "No, no way." I shook my head. "Who told you that?" I asked.

He shrugged, "everyone is talking about it. If you are, you should tell me now. I don't want to be played around with, Olive."

"Frank," I reached out to grab his hands, "I'm not playing around. I told you, I needed time, that doesn't mean I'm going to go off and hook up with the next boy who talks to me." He pulled his hands away from mine,

"I'm tired of all this." I stayed silent for a while, not knowing how to respond. " Tired of what?" I asked quietly, looking around the hall, making sure no one was around. My gut feeling was telling me that he was going to break it off then and there, and I was just hoping it was wrong.

"We should be together, Olive. We shouldn't be on a break, and I tell you that I'm fine with you taking your time, but its fucking stressful. I want you, and only you. You know I would never hurt you. I just wish you-"

"I want to be with you, too, Frank." I cut him off, "You know that. But it would feel weird to just jump back into a relationship. I don't know, I don't know how I feel anymore. I want to be with you but then I don't. I want to trust you but I can't. I want to forgive you but I don't know how." I replied slowly, blinking quickly when I felt the tears stinging my eyes.

"Well, then what? How long do you think you'll need?" He asked loudly, I could tell he was starting to get annoyed, " I seriously don't know what to do. If it were the other way around, I would have forgiven you already."

"No you wouldn't." I retorted.

He sighed, "Yeah, I would have."

I shook my head, "You don't know how I feel, okay? You don't. If you were me you would be resistant to forgive me. If you understood you wouldn't question it. You know I love you, but I need time. I don't want things to be awkward, we can be friends for now."

"I don't-"

"Don't say you don't want to be friends." I snapped jokingly, " It's better than not talking at all. Things will go back to normal in no time." I walked over to him and resorted to pat his shoulder, thinking that hugging would be too weird.

"Promise me something?" Frank asked.

"Okay." I nodded.

"Don't get a new boyfriend."

"I won't." I laughed, "You're my boyfriend, well, sort of. You'll be my boyfriend soon."

"Olive, what the hell is wrong with you?" Lindsey exclaimed, waving her arms around dramatically. I looked over at her, "What?"

"How much time do you need? I swear, you're being dramatic. What are you afraid of? Things will go back to normal when you get back together. Frank isn't the problem. Jenna is. Just stay away from Jenna."

"But he slept with her!" I retorted angrily, " He actually had sex with her. He wasn't sober but he still did it. It just hurts, ok? It's all I can think about when I see either of them. "

"He wouldn't do it again. Have yo seen the kid? He isn't himself. " Lindsey was succeeding at making me feel bad.

"Don't worry about my relationship." I waved her off, "We'll be fine."

"I'm just saying, you don't want Frank to pull a Gerard." She shrugged, "Mikey said that he's been seeing some girl. Some stupid random girl. It didn't even take him long to find another girlfriend, that asshole. He's lucky I don't go over and kick his ass. I didn't do anything wrong." I've never seen Lindsey this sad before, and I was angry that it Gee was the one who was making her feel this way.

"Maybe he's trying to make you jealous." I shrugged, "Or maybe it isn't like that. Maybe that girl is just his friend."

"Olive, don't be stupid. I know you're hurt and I know its going to be hard to forget, but you can forgive him. It's ok if you, it doesn't make you any less of a person. Don't push Frank away for something Jenna did."
I sat quietly, and let her words repeat in my head over and over. "Maybe you're right." I answered quietly.

"I always am." She smiled, " You want to be with him, but you can't hold this against him. He won't bring it up, and you shouldn't either, it'll be the only way you'll be able to forgive him. How do you expect to forgive him while you sit around by yourself and think about it all day? Just go back to the ways things used to be."

"But I just told him I needed time and that we should be friends." I said sheepishly. Lindsey groaned, "Well, go over and tell him you change your mind."

"But then I would look like an idiot. Going back on my word."

"Do you want to forgive him or not?" I stayed silent, "Do you want to be with him?" I nodded slowly.

"Then go!" She pulled me off her bed and marched me downstairs.