Give Me What I Need, Give Me A Reason To Believe

"You can tell me here," I say staring at him.

"Mr. Sullivan this is only meant for family, and since even you are not family!"

"Just tell me!" I raise my voice at him, Brian's hand rests on my shoulder "please," I add looking at the doctor, bracing myself for bad news.

"In front of these people?" he asks I just nod looking around at my friends. Brian's hand stayed on my shoulder, Niki held Alexia's sleeping body close to her; Zack and Elizabeth held hands staring at the doctor. Matt kept his arms firmly round Taylor and Johnny stood there staring at the doctor who just sighs in defeat.

"Okay fine. I don't want to install false hope into any of you, I feel that its only fair you know what exactly is going on with Dr Atkins," he looks at his charts, he knew what he had to say that was obvious, I didn't envy him one bit, he had one of the hardest jobs in the world. "The police car which hit Dr Atkins car hit at some speed, she was flung through the window screen and has sustained serious injuries to her head and upper body. She has spent the past 2 hours in surgery and we've now be able to stabilize her. No one is quite sure how long we can keep her stabilized." He looks round before carrying on, "Dr Atkins is on a life support machine at the moment we are waiting for her to be strong enough to breathe on her own." he says solemnly.

"Waiting?" Elizabeth looks at him, "for how long?" He looks at her obvsiouly expecting that question.

"I'm sorry we don't honestly know if or when it will happen,"

"If?" Niki looks up. Everything starts to blur slightly, I feel myself start to shake and then Brian's hand grips my shoulder tighter.

"If," the Doctor nods in agreement "she's young and in good shape which puts her in a positive way, but as I said it cant be said what will happen," he looks at me "I'm sorry I can't help any more,"

"Thank you," Brian nods at him.

"Can we see her?" I blurt out it was the only thing on my mind at the moment.

"Maximum two people at once, that's it but I guess no ones around," he looks at all of us and sighs "please don't get caught!" he adds before walking off leaving us there.

"Dude d'ya wanna go in?" Brian looks at me, I pause did i? Did I honestly want to go in there and see my worst nightmare? I look at Brian, he was my best friend and could fucking read me like a book.

"Let's go in," Niki says looking at everyone not waiting for an answers, "What about Alexia?" she asks looking to me.

"I don't know," I had no idea what to do, this was all new to me.

"Leave her with me," Matt mutters still holding Taylor close to him; Niki nods and puts her on one of the chair. Matt sat down next to her pulling Taylor on his lap, if it wasn't for the fact the girlI loved who was part of my life was lying in a hospital nearly dead, I would kill Matt.
Elizabeth and Zack go in first holding hands, I knew it was hard to see people in hospital, I knew it was hard to see people ill, but to stand by someone who no one knew if she'd live of die needed a new level of strength to be present. Something I wasn't sure I had. I walked in after Zack, Brian, Niki and Johnny behind us. It was surreal, no one went close to the bed, all six of us just stood there in a line staring. It wasn't what I imagined I thought she'd look normal just asleep, how wrong I was.
Rhian laid there, large bruises appearing on her cheeks, her eyes closed, blood smeared across her face and in her hair. Her arms had drips sticking into them, if she woke up and saw that she'd probably start screaming, she'd watched me do heroin once, she'd screamed at me so much. I smile slightly remembering her, she at times was my best friend, other times my girlfriend, other times the only person who would tell me to stop fucking up and sort myself out. She was pretty much my life. I looked back at her pale skin, cuts and bruises causing imperfections. It hurt so much to see her like this, to know that maybe this could be my fault, history repeating it's self. Niki was the first to walk over to Rhian; she went round to the other side of the bed and sat beside her. Elizabeth sighed moving away from Zack and sat the other side

"Hey Hoe wake up, we're worried about ya," she whispers, everyone smiles slightly. Out of the four girls, Niki had been the strong one, the one who could honestly cope with most things, Elizabeth had been the one to cheer everyone up, Taylor had been the tough nut getting into as many fights as me, and Rhian had been the quiet geeky one.

Flashback
"Mr. Sullivan and Miss Atkins," the teacher calls out, Miss Atkins who the fuck was that? I look round hopping to see some girl staring at me so I could work out who my partner for this project was. No one was staring at me but then I notice her, I stare at one girl standing there. Medium height, really feminine body, curly dark hair slightly covering her face, she looked up reviling bright blue eyes. I couldn't stop staring at her she was gorgeous.

"Dude stop drooling!" Matt mutters smirking at me.

"Shut up!" I mutter suddenly coming out of my daze, the girl knew I was staring at her.
Her pale skin blushed red and she laughed quietly. I smirked at her, but it took me too long to realize I was still standing there as everyone else had walked to the table. She laughed at me and walked over to her friends. I could see me doing well in this project.

"Dude is that Miss Atkins?" I ask Matt who turns round and points to the girl sitting at the front. Shit it's her.

"Your Mr. Sullivan right?" she asks as the class leave the room, I just nod "okay so this project how are we going to do it?"

"Umm I don't know we should meet up some time?" she just nods.

"My house is free tonight?"

"That sounds cool," I nod watching her check the clock.

"Say around 7?" she asks.

"Yeah that's good, I'll see ya at seven then!" she smiles walking over to one of the girls from this morning who is talking to Zack, the flirting between them obvious.
*************
"AHHH JIMMY GET OFF!" she screams as I tackle her to the grass.

"You're such a freak!" she mutters making me laugh.

"aww your such a," I stop and stare into her eyes "your gorgeous!" I whisper leaning down our lips press lightly together, I don't know what I was doing or if this is what she wanted but I felt so right.

"THERE FUCKING KISSING!" I hear someone scream so I pull back slightly and notice the look Rhian had.

"I'm so fucking sorry!" I stutter slightly.

"Don't be!" she laughs, god I loved her laugh. She wraps her arms round my neck and pulls me down into a kiss "I really like you," she whispers kissing me back, as if we were the only people on the field.

"Hun please just wake up and shout at us all for being completely stupid and not telling you to relax and stay home!" Niki tells her, I knew Niki could be strong but right now that was all quickly disappearing. Syn stands behind her, his hands rest on her shoulders. "Rhian we all love you!" she whispers this time, and everyone is silent.

"I can't do this," I suddenly mutter staring at her body, I couldn't bare it. The door was left open as I ran out and followed the route we'd taken to get in. I finally get outside and am exposed to the bright moon light. I undo the top bottoms of my shirt trying to breathe more steadily, while searching for my smokes. I stick a cigarette between my lips before searching for my lighter,

"Here!" I look up as Taylor appears holding her lighter.

"Thanks," I mutter letting her light it for me.

"Why aren't you in there with Rhian?" she questions bluntly taking her own smokes out.

"Couldn't face it,"

"Why not? This isn’t the time to fucking chicken out!"

"Because Taylor it's too fucking much, you know however much you think I'm a heartless bastard I'm really not!"

"Shut up, I know your not a heartless bastard, I've seen you with your daughter, I know how you feel about Rhian. Your not fucking heartless just misguided!" she sighs letting the smoke escape from her. "You love her don't you?" she asks as we stand in the darkness just watching people come in and out of the hospital.

"Maybe," I say simply, my sister roles her eyes.

"Jimmy fucking grow a pair and sort it out before you fucking lose her. Cause if she wakes up from this she and Alexia are going to be moving a long way away from here, she cant go through all this shit again she knows that!" Taylor sighs and looks right at me "Jimmy please don't let that happen, sort this out yeah? You two are meant to be together and I'm not losing my friend and my niece just because of you!" she says throwing her cigarette to the floor and stamping it out. I watched her walk back in, she had such an attitude, she was a Sullivan. I follow her through the hospital back to where Rhian was.

"DADDY!" Alexia screams as I walk round the corner. My daughter runs towards me I grab her and lift her up. "Where's mummy why are we here?" She asks staring right at me.

"Mum's not feeling too good at the moment so she needs her rest," I say simply not letting my emotions get the better of me.

"Hey Alexia!" Niki says walking over to us, "how d'ya feel about coming back with Uncle Syn and I?" she asks her and looks towards me

"Niki I can't ask,"

"Shhh!" she mutters to me "you can stay with us for a bit, and maybe Uncle Syn will play guitar hero!"

"He fucking wont!" he mumbles angrily making me laugh.

"Are you two sure about this?"

"Of course we are!" Niki doesn't let Syn get a word in, but he just nods.

"go see her, she needs you right now," he says simply as Niki scoops up my daughter hugging her tightly before letting her say her goodbyes to us all. I watch them leave with my daughter before turning to the room Rhian was in,

"Go on!" Matt says to me, I look around at him and Taylor. "We're gonna get some drinks and food for everyone!" they say smiling at me; I knew this was hard on everyone. Still I thought it was some horrid dream. I wish it was some horrid dream.

"Hey!" that hey was how everyone greeted me at the moment, no emotion no happiness, pure sorrow. It was really starting to wear me down. I just nod at Zack and look to where Rhian lay "we're give you some time!" he says simply squeezing Elizabeth's shoulder and then walking her out of the room. I stand in the room, the constant beep from the life support machine zoning in and out of my mind.

Niki's POV
"Do you think she's going to live?" I ask bluntly while making two coffees. Brian turns to look at me, his eyes full of sorrow.

"No" he mutters walking over to me his arms wrap round my waist and he pulls me close.
"She survived last time, she was fucking lucky. This time she's going to need a miracle" I shed a few tears and held Brian close to me. What the fuck must Jimmy be feeling now? If I ever lost Brian I wouldn't carry on. He meant everything to me, he was my world.

"I love you" I whisper quietly kissing him.

"Love you too. More than you will ever know" he says holding me tightly. I hoped with all my heart she'd be okay, but sometimes not everything works out.