Give Me What I Need, Give Me A Reason To Believe

"Come on darling!" I call to my daughter as I grab my bag, she runs towards me.

"Mum I can't do the shoes up,"

"Come here!" I mutter kneeling down and tying up her mini converse; this kid had style it was simple. "Right we ready?"

"Yes I think so!" I smile and take her hand in mine.

"Don't hold my hand" she pouts at me, and does the whole puppy dog eyes. This girl always wanted to be more grown up than she was, god knows who she got that from. She had her dads' eyes though, bright blue.

"Now remember we only want jeans for you today," she nods at me in the mirror. I turn round and check her seat belt, "all sorted?" I ask waiting for a reply.

"Yep" she smiles broadly. I loved taking her out, mainly cause it didn't happen much. I wished it could but a single parent, as I was learning, had a hard life.

"Can we get ice cream today mummy?"

"Of course we can, this is your day!" I say simply turning the ignition on and driving out of the drive way. I wasn’t a massive fan of shopping, and obviously Alexia wasn’t either. But then again what kid was? She found it boring and tiring, I felt the same.
As I pull into the shopping centre car park, Alexia mutters something making me turn to see her with head phones in; my head phones.

"Where did you get them from?" I ask she looks up and points to the back pocket behind my seat. So that's where I left them. Luckily someone in this family could find lost things. "what are you listening to?" she shrugs .

"Loud music, daddy listens to it!" I sigh, she was 'Daddy's little girl' no doubt about that. He was her world, she loved spending time with him and they both connected so well.

"I see, right lets get going!" I climb out of the car and go round to check the I pod slightly intrigued to find out what she was listening to.

"It won't turn off," she states simply handing it to me and hopping out of the car. I watch as she grabs her little bag and stands next to me, someone better not turn into a little Diva, not that daddy would let her. I look at the ipod rolling my eyes when I see what she was listening to, metallica. Of course Daddy listens to this, he's probably told Alexia there the best band in the world and she should worship them.

"Right love lets shop" I say locking the car, Alexia takes hold of my hand shocking me slightly.

"You okay?" she nods and smiles at me, I smile back and walk with her to the shops. There was something bothering her and I would get it out of her.
After two hours of shopping, I had finally found Alexia jeans, t-shirts and a dress which wasn't on the list of things we needed but oh well.

"Okay last shop I promise and then ice cream,"

"Promise?" Alexia asks looking fed up.

"I promise darling!" I smile and lead her into a lingerie shop.

"We'll be a few seconds!" I say quickly walking over to find what I was looking for. Okay maybe a few minutes was the truth.

"Mummy I'm bored" Alexia moans as I look for the right size bra.

"Okay and we're going now" I found it and ushered Alexia over to the tills. I watched as the sales women rung up the items, Alexia lent her head against the side of my body my fingers absentmindedly running through her hair. "Ice cream next?" I ask her, she instant smiles and nods excitedly. I hand my card over to the sales women and type my pin in.

"Here you go mam," the women hands me my card back and the bag of bras, two camis and some pants. I shoot her a thank you smile before Alexia leads me out of the shop. She walks ahead of me skipping along in her own world. "Alexia please be careful!" the shopping centre was busy and she was always in danger of walking into someone. I watch her skip and then run straight into some. "oh god, Alexia!" I call running over to her, the women she ran into smiles at me "Are you okay sweetie?" she asks Alexia who nods and smiles shyly.She'd got my shyness with new people, but Jimmy's confidence around friends.

"I'm so sorry" I say to the woman, who laughs patting Alexia's head.

"Oh its okay, I need to get use to this!" she says patting her stomach, I smile awkwardly not knowing what to say.

"Alexia what d'ya say?"

"Sorry," she says to the women who just smiles and shakes her head.

"Its totally okay darling" she tells Alexia who produces a small innocent smile for her.

"Anyway I need to get on, boyfriends money wont spend its self!" she laughs before walking off. I roll my eyes; she couldn't be any older than 21 and already pregnant. Not that I could talk.

"I didn't see her" Alexia mutters looking towards me. I couldn’t very well be angry with her.

"I know sweeties its okay just be careful" she nods as we reach the ice cream palour finding a spare table to sit at.

"Darling you're a mess!" I laugh as she eats her strawberry ice cream getting it everywhere.

"I'll get tissues!" she smiles and hops off her seat, my eyes don't leave her as she goes to get them. She always wanted to be helpful to an extent where sometimes it became a hindrance. I watch her walk she spent too much time in her own world, not paying enough attention to what was going on around her.

"Alexia carefully," I call as I watch her walk straight into a guy.

"DADDY!" she suddenly screams and I sigh, not now, really not a good time. I look up to see him and Jason with two girls.

"Alright kiddo," he smiles at her but not showing any emotion towards her and I can see why.

"Awe is she yours?" the girl next to him says.

"Yeah!" he mutters. Could be prouder of your daughter, this guy really knew how to annoy me.

"Daddy come sit with us!" Alexia pleads, not going to happen.

"Oh babe I can't!" he pauses, knew it. The girl standing next to him hits his arm lightly.

"Go spend time with you daughter, keeps you out of the way from me!" she laughs, Jimmy smiles at her, I knew deep down he liked spending time with Alexia, I just made him out to be a bad person.

"Thanks babe!" he kisses the girl lightly before she leaves but not before muttering the words:

"That's adorable he has a kid! Cute!" to her friend she was with. So now my daughter is used as a tool to pull girls. That wasn’t going to pass with me at all.

As soon as the girl is out of sight, Jimmy picks his daughter up and hugs her tightly. "Alright girl?" he questions kissing her forehead, she nods and hugs him tightly, she worshiped him. Jimmy and Jason both walk over my way, this was going to be fun.

"Oo ice cream" Jason smiles happily as he notices me, "hey you" Jason had become one of my good friends, even if him and Jimmy were best friends that didn’t seem to stop us hanging out.

"Hi"

"Mummy look Daddy" Alexia points at her dad.

"Yeah it's great!" I smile at her and then look at Jimmy, who just chuckles.

"You okay?" he asks me I just nod and put the spoon down. Jimmy sits down in Alexia's place with her on his lap. As she eats the ice cream and talks to Jimmy about something or other, I turn my attention to Jason.

"Who was she?"

"His latest" I just nod remembering the millions of girls we labled as his latest . "Who's that for?" he asks pointing to the black bag with La Rochelle's Lingerie on it. I smile slightly knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"Me!"

"Great, see ya tonight then!" he laughs at me, I just role my eyes.

"And then mummy made me wait in the shop that smells funny but then we had ice cream!" Alexia explains her day to Jimmy who as ever was listening intently.

"Shop that smells funny?" Jimmy questions her, Alexia points to La Rochelle's Lingerie shop; great more questions. Jimmy looks up to the shop, I notice a small smile play on his lips but he just nods.

"Yeah mummy made me wait in there for ages before, just hold ya breath when ya go in, like so!" he suggests and then holds Alexia's nose making her squeal. I smile at the two of them, its sad they don't get to spend as much time together any more. Jason looks at me for a few seconds a mischievous glint in his brown eyes.

"Alexia wanna come play over there?" he asks her pointing to the indoor play area, I knew he wanted to play in there as much as she did.

"Yep!" she smiles brightly at Jason, Jimmy raises his eyebrows at him but doesn't complain.

"Race ya" Jason smirks at Alexia who jumps off Jimmy and follows Jason. I could kill Jason for this. Jimmy picks up the spoon Alexia had and takes a mouthful of my ice cream. I look up at him.

"Jimmy when we were dating I wouldn't have minded so much, but now I think I have every right to kill you for eating my ice cream" he smiles slightly taking the spoon out of his mouth and pointing towards the lingerie shop.

"You've been shopping in that sex shop!"

"It's not a sex shop" I whisper the word sex, Jimmy just laughs.

"Who is he then?"

"There's no one!"

"Oh so you brought something for yourself?" he raises his eyebrows.

"Yes!"

"Horny bitch!" Damn him, not like that seriously guys had perverted minds.

"Not like that" I glare at him.

"So there's not a guy?"

"No," I mutter looking down at the melting ice cream. "So who's she?" I ask.

"Just a friend!" I laugh at him and he shots me another arrogant smile.

"So fuck buddy!"

"Yep, she'll be going soon, getting to boring!"" I look at him and shake my head, he had no write to treat girls like that.

"Ya know I actually feel sorry for the silly bitch!"

"Remember what it uses to be like to be my fuck buddy then?" he laughs, I glare at him.

"Yeah and look what happened!" I look over to Alexia.

"Regret being with me?"

"Not a moment, I love my daughter guess there's a good side to every bad mistake" he sighs and looks at me.

"You loved it!" I look away and over to my daughter and Jason.

"When are you having her next?" I quickly change the convocation no point arguing in public.

"The weekend? If you don't mind?"

"That's fine," I smile and notice the girls walking back towards us.

"Jimmy baby look what I brought" he sighs and looks at her.

"What?"

"Aww baby what's wrong?" she coos slipping onto his knee, it's like I'm not really here.

"Nothing just spending time with my family like you said to!" he mutters

"Family?" she looks at me "Who's this?" she asks Jimmy, I flash her a fake smile which quickly fades with Jimmy's next comment.

"My wife," I'm about to scream something at him but I get beaten to it.

"WIFE, you said you were single you lying bastard!" she shouts at him slapping his cheek.

"Yeah well!" he mutters pushing the girl away from him, I watch the girl.

"Your married to that, that's sick he's a cheating bastard!" she shouts at me.

"I know, I totally agree" she gives me a confused look but then doesn’t seem to care anymore.

"I want my clothes back!"

"There be waiting on the lawn for ya babe!" Jimmy mutters waving her away. She looks at him and then runs away the tears flooding down her cheeks. I sigh knowing exactly how she felt, "sorry I had to use you!"

"Don't worry you've done it so many times before!" I glare.

"Oh good come back!" He chuckles taking another bit of my ice cream.