Give Me What I Need, Give Me A Reason To Believe

"So how was your weekend with your dad?" I question Alexia as she sits down for dinner after a full day of school.

"It was really fun!" she smiles at me broadly.

"Ah huh, what did ya do?"

"Daddy taught me to play more piano, and we went down the beach and had food!"

"Oh wow sounds fun" I say sorting out her bag she took to school.

"And Niki taught me how to play volleyball!" she says excitedly. I smile at her as I go to check on the dinner. "And I beat Brian at guitar hero!" I just laugh as the list goes on and at the fact he was surprising bad at that game. He just made an excuse about it being a stupid game because it wasn't a proper guitar.

"Well done sweetie!" I say grabbing both our dinners from the oven and laying them on the table. She smiles and grabs her knife and fork straight away; I just shake my head and take a sip of my water. I watched my daughter take a mouthful of her food, her and Jimmy were so alike it was kind of scary. "Alexia chew darling!" I mutter rolling my eyes, the two of them were way to alike.

"Mummy can we watch ice age?" I look at her as she walks into the kitchen her blue eyes staring right through to me.

"We can but we wont be able to watch it all tonight," I say checking the clock she looks at me with slight anger on her face but then just nods, "its on the DVD player I add" as she runs to go find it. I finish the washing up and tidy the kitchen before pouring myself a drink and going to find my daughter who was trying to set the DVD player.

"Why don't you go get changed from bed and then we'll watch it?" I say walking up behind her, she just nods and jumps up leaving me to do battle with the DVD player. It was just Alexia and I tonight, my parents had gone to a restaurant for the night which was a blessing because it meant my mum wouldn't see my cook Alexia dinner.

"MUM, I can't find my pajama's!" Alexia calls down the stairs,

"Just get a new pair out there probably still in your bag!" I pause, bag, and where was her bag.

"Sweetie did you bring you bag back from dad's?" I call back, she doesn't answer for a few minutes, that's a no then.

"Don't remember!" I just sigh and look around the room, wonderful, this meant calling Jimmy. I set the DVD up and sit on the sofa waiting for Alexia to come down, "ready!" she smiles broadly jumping onto the sofa; I chuck the cover over her legs and get up.
"I'll be right back hun, I just need to make a phone call!" I kiss the top of her head lightly and press play on the DVD player before going into the kitchen. I pick up the phone and dial his number, its sad how I just knew it with out thinking, I guess it's the amount of times I've called about Alexia, or that's the excuse I kept telling myself.

"House with excess amounts of weed how may we help?"

"If this was the police calling you'd be in so much shit!" I mutter down the phone to Brian, who just laughs.

"What about house of love?" he mocks.

"I really have no idea why she said yes to you," I mutter "can I speak to Jimmy please?" I hear Brian laugh.

"Why?"

"Because I need to talk to him,"

"To talk to him, or is it just you need him" I sigh with impatience.

"Brian!" I use my tone I used with university students when they make up an excuse about work not being in.

"I'll just get him," he's defeated, I smirk to myself it was like a talent.

"y'ello?"

"Hey it's,"

"I know its you, you'd think after millions of years I recognize your voice!" he mocks me, i mentally slap myself trying to calm down.

"Yeah, well umm did Alexia leave her bag there?" I ask, there's a silence on the end of the phone. "Jimmy?"

"Yeah hang on I'm looking!" he sighs and I her him walking around and Brian muttering in the background.

"Mum can I have a drink?" Alexia walks into the room; I just nod and watch her get a Capri-sun out of the fridge.

"Pass me one love" I say she just ignores me and walks away; I stand there staring at her what had I done wrong?

"Pass you one what? Who's there with you? Is Jason there cause I'll fucking" Jimmy suddenly starts talking.

"Alexia, I asked her to pass me a drink and she didn't, and if Jason was here why would you kill him?" I mutter down the phone as Alexia goes back to the living room.

"Because," Jimmy pauses "because you deserve someone better, someone who loves you and Alexia, and treats you right!" he mutters awkwardly, I just stand there staring at my hand not knowing what to say to that. "Her bags here I'll drop it off tonight," he adds "bye!" he puts the phone down not letting me say a thing.

"Aww he's back with his family!" Alexia whispers as the kid in ice age is given back to his father, I just nod in agreement, "he's my favorite!" she states pointing to the sloth.

"Really?" she just nods.

"He's like dad!" I can't help but laugh, I guess in away Jimmy was a bit like Sid the sloth, I smirked he'd love that. "Who's your favorite?" she asks me waiting for an answer.

"I like the tiger or the sloth" I answer as the credits role.

"Why?" she asks, I just shrug pulling a funny face.

"Because I don't know darling, but what I do know is you should be in bed" I tell her looking at the clock. She nods and yawns.

"I'm tired" I smile slightly and run my fingers through her hair.

"Go on bedtime" I say getting up with her. It takes her half hour to she finally falls asleep, I know she misses her dad, I don't understand why know she's started missing him so much, I don't really know what's triggered this. I stare at my beautiful daughter, her dark brown hair fell to her shoulders, curly like mine, but she had Jimmy's eyes bright blue like the ocean.

A knock on the front door brings me out of my thoughts. I sigh and walk out of Alexia's room closing the door quietly behind me; I couldn't have her knowing Jimmy was here I'd never get her to sleep. He'd never leave.

"Hey!" I smile as I open the door, don’t ask me why I was in a good mood.

"her bag!" he hands it to me, I take it and go to put it on the stairs the door closes behind me and Jimmy's hand presses against my shoulder making me flinch.

"What do you want?" I ask quietly, he sighs and lets my shoulder go.

"I"

"Jimmy I need to talk to you!" I interrupt him not wanting to hear what he was going to say.

"About?"

"Alexia, something's not right, did you say anything to her this weekend?" he looks at me confused.

"About?" he asks again.

"I don't know its just she always wants you and she keeps crying and," I pause as he takes my hand, I try to pull back but he grips my hand tightly. "Jimmy!" I warn him,

"I miss you," he whispers, my eyes go wide. No, no, no, and defiantly no!

"No you can't do this, you dumped me, which isn't even the point we're discussing that was a long time ago we're meant to be talking about our daughter!" I say all too quickly my voice getting higher.

"Breath," he smiles slightly, letting go of my hand "she did say something to Elizabeth not me!" he says simply.

"Which was?" I question.

"She asked why you and I weren't getting married," my eyes go wide, I was about to ask where that came from but I guess with Niki and Brian that was obvious, I really didn't know what to say to that, "She doesn't understand why we aren't together, she thinks you hate me. She said she hated you because of that," he mutters watching me carefully.

"My daughter hates me?" I whisper a feeling of guilt and sadness wash over my body.

"Hey she's a kid she doesn't mean I told my parents I hated them all the time," he says trying to cheer me up.

"You did though!" His comments didn’t really help.

"Look maybe you should just sit down for a bit," Jimmy says, I just nod and walk through to the living room, my daughter hated me. I sat there staring at the floor as Jimmy went to get me a drink, "you okay?" I just nod "she loves you, its just she doesn't understand!"

"I know, and it's my fault," he shakes his head and sits next to me.

"Pretty much it's my fault, for fucking my best friend," he whispers wrapping an arm over my shoulder and pulling my body against his, I didn't stop him, I felt so numb and at times like this he had always been there for me. "Ya know if you asked me what the one thing about my life I regret is what d'ya reckon it would be?" he asks me I just look up at him and shrug.

"Lousing you, lousing my best friend in the whole entire world because I fucked around!" he says simply.

"Jimmy you cant do this now!" I say quietly.

"Just get some rest, I'll leave soon!" he mutters running his fingers through my hair.

"No dont," I mutter feeling safe in his arms "I missed my best friend!" I whisper laying back.

"Missed you too," he mutters his lips press against my forehead.