Give Me What I Need, Give Me A Reason To Believe

"DADDY!" my eyes shoot open as I hear my daughter's voice; someone's arms were wrapped round my waist tightly holding me against their body. Oh god how stupid could I honestly be? Alexia jumps on me hugging me tightly.

"Sweetie don't!" I mutter picking her up.

"Why's daddy here?" she asks as Jimmy starts to wake up, I free myself from his grip and get up quickly.

"Go get ready for school,"

"I want to see dad!"

"No Alexia go get ready," she looks at me.

"I want my dad!"

"Alexia we're late as it is please just go get ready, it was a long night!" I mutter staring at the clock.

"Why won't you let me see daddy?" she glares at me.

"Because,"

"I hate you your mean to me, your mean to dad!" she shouts kicking me hard and running up the stairs.

"ALEXIA!" I shout at her "get here right now!" but I hear her bedroom door slam, she had my stubborn attitude.

"What's with the shouting?" Jimmy appears behind me looking rough as ever.

"Get out!" I warn him turning round.

"Huh?" he looks at me slightly confused before he must realize that I'm a freaking mess as usual.

"You can't be here, it's too hard, it's confusing, and I need to get her ready for school!" I mutter quietly holding back as many emotions as I can, but it's not easy to do that when your hiding them from a guy who knows you that well.

"What happened?" he sighs, his eyes studying me.

"She kicked me and said she hates me!" I sigh and look at Jimmy.

"Go get ready and meet me at star bucks, order some drinks, I'll get Alexia to school and then meet ya there!" he says pushing me up the stairs, I glare at him "Rhian do it now, seriously" he warns me, pointing upstairs.

"What the blazes is going on?" my mother walks out of her room,

"Nothing" I mutter angrily, she glares at me and then Jimmy who runs up the stairs,

"What is he doing here?" she asks Jimmy just ignores her and walks past to Alexia's room.

"He's here to see Alexia, mum please just leave it alone!" I open the bathroom door.

"Don't you talk to me like that young?"

"Mother I'm 26!" I shout at her.

"And yet you act like a 16 year old girl in love, you let your feelings for him overpower everything else!" She shouts back walking down the stairs, I look to where Jimmy is standing hugging Alexia and telling her to get ready. His eyes meet with mine.

"Your be okay!" He mouths making me smile slightly before I walk into the bathroom locking the door. I turned the shower on letting the warm water flow and the steam invade the room. I spent half an hour in the shower just letting the warm water travel across my body, just letting the peace and quiet wash over me, this was the first time in months I'd had half an hour to me.

"I'm gonna take Alexia, I'll be back!" I hear Jimmy call before the front door shuts and the guest bedroom door opens.

"Rhian get out of that shower at once!" my mother shouts at me.

"Love leave her alone and get ready to go out for breakfast!" I hear my dad shout back at my mum. It took them another half an hour to leave, the house, I heard Jimmy come back and then him walk up the stairs. Less of the peace and quiet then.

"If you've drowned in there, I'm not going to be impressed!" he knocks on the bathroom door. Signialling his great return.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I call back.

"Now, would be good!" he says simply, I sigh and turn the shower off and grab the towel. I walk out the bathroom only to nearly fall over Jimmy who was sitting on the floor two cups of coffee next to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Coffee!" he smiles cutely at me. I just nod and walk into my bedroom, "wait where ya going?" he asks looking at me.

"To get changed I'll be right out" I mutter grabbing some clothes.

"Fine be like that!" he mutters looking at me, I just role my eyes and shut the door. We' weren't together, we weren't even close anymore; he had no right to be like this. "Rhian your coffee's getting cold!" I don't even bother answering him, as I grab a pair of baggy jeans and strap top, before trying to do something with my dripping wet hair, "right that's it I've drunk your coffee!" God he was impatient.

"Fine!" I shout back checking my reflection in the mirror, the door opens before I get out and Jimmy walks into my room. I stare at him and he just hands me a coffee, I take a sip of coffee and then stare at Jimmy. It was hard to imagine us being best friends, or that's what everyone uses to say. He was the rebel of Huntington Beach, drugs, alcohol, girls and I was the good girl, never got in trouble straight A's, not relationships your normal geek. One we became friends I think my parents nearly died, he was probably the only person in the world that could piss my mum off by just breathing. But he was my best friend and I wouldn't change it for the world. But now look at us, we don't talk, we shout at each, I keep my distance, he keeps his emotions bottled up, what a pair of emotional wrecks.

"Did Alexia get to school okay?" I ask, he just nods and sighs.

"You gonna be okay when she gets home?"

"Yeah!" I mutter quietly, sitting down on my bed Jimmy joined me.

"Last night," he started and I just looked away.

"Jimmy I cant do this, you know that! he sighs and puts his coffee down before taking my hand in his.

"Rhian why can't we talk about this?" he asked this question so many times before and the convocation had always gone along the lines of me putting the phone down, or shutting the door and then breaking into tears.

"Because you fucked her, and then all those thousands of others! And then told me I meant nothing!"

"It wasn't thousands but close," he smirks, that why Ilove loved him, his wit and complete ability to make me laugh.

"Jimmy, can we not do this, we've managed for seven years to be at each others throats can we go back to that?" I ask, he shakes his head I just groan, this wasn't what I needed right now.

"I can't be like this to you, I love you!"

"No you don't, you just can't find anyone else to fuck you!" I mutter knowing it was a lie.

"You know that's not true, you want me as much as I want you!" he smiles leaning closer to me, "you want it to be like it was, you want the past back, I know you do" he whispers pushing me back on my bed.

"Jimmy we really" he stops me as his lips press against mine. This shouldn't be happening, we shouldn't be doing this. I kiss him back his tongue roaming my mouth. It had been seven long years. I hadn't felt his soft touch in seven years. I hadn't felt complete in seven years and now it was obvious why. Slowly my arms wrap round his neck deepening the kiss as much as possible. My heart was beating faster and faster as his hands tapped against my waist so I moved to let him take my top off . His lips pressed against the newly exposed skin. I knew it was wrong, I knew we shouldn't be doing this but Icouldn't didn't want to stop him.

This was wrong everything about it was wrong, I kept telling myself that as his hands easily slipped my jeans off and moved to remove his own clothing. I'm not too sure why this was happening; I couldn't understand why I was letting him do this. Though maybe that was a lie, maybe inside me I did though, but sometimes I just had to hide that from myself and everyone else Jimmy included.

"Your still beautiful!" he whispers his hands running across my bare skin before I pulled him down onto me. Though hearing someone call you beautiful after you have a child and you hate your body is something not to be ignored. "You shouldn't hide," he mutters kissing my bare skin, he leaves a line of kisses between my breasts and across my stomach, he leaves a kisses on my hip bones before moving back up. "I honestly love you" he whispers, I open my eyes slowly and stare into his ocean blue eyes, I was drawn in.

"I love you" I admit, it seemed the right thing to do as he slowly slipped into me.

Taylor's POV

"What the fuck do you want?" I groan down the phone.

"Umm Miss Sullivan?"

"Yeah that's me who's asking?"

"My names Mrs. Murphy I work at St Mary's Grove Primary School,"

"So?" I question this woman who was droning down the phone at me.

"So Alexia is in tears at the moment, she says her mum is working and her dad well we've tried but failed to contact him so you're the next option," everything the women says goes in one ear and out the other.

"huh?" i run my hand through my messy hair and grab a t-shirt from the floor, it was either mine or his, I'm really not sure.

"Hey babe come back!" he groans his large hands coming to rest on my small stomach.

"Shh" I whisper trying to concentrate on the crazy lady at the end of the phone.

"You are Miss Taylor Sullivan are you not?" she questions.

"Yeah that's me, but love I think ya got the wrong bitch!" I say, she gasps as if I'd just said I was going to kill her.

"Are you or are you not aunty to Alexia Atkins?" she nearly shouts down the phone at me, Alexia, oh shit.

"Oh right yeah umm that's me!"

"Well please could you come and collect her from school right away, we've had more than a few problems with her today and I'm starting to get a very clear picture of what is going on and I must say Miss Sullivan this does not look good for Dr Atkins, or Mr. Sullivan!" and with that the women put the phone down on me, pompous bitch who does she think she is?

I walk back to my bedroom where last nights drunken mistake lay, I'll get over him quickly, I don't remember his name, barely remember where I met him, and what he looks like? Fuck knows to be honest; I was more than slightly wasted last night to say the least. And now I had to pick up my niece who to be honest I never saw cause I really couldn't be bothered to go and see, I loved her to bits I just hated her father a lot for what he did to one of my friends.

"I'm sorry I have to go out, so yeah," I say to the guy not turning to look at him, I hear him climb out of the bed and suddenly his reflection appears in the mirror I was staring at. Both our reactions were similar, HOLY SHIT I did not fuck him! Please tell me I'm dreaming cause if I'm not my life has just got seven times worse