That Four Letter Word

None of this was supposed to happen. If everything had stayed the way it was, I would have been fine, but now that everything’s been said and done, I can’t take it back. I can’t do anything now, and I think maybe because of this I’m a different person…

I walked to school; it was a Monday morning where everything is the same. I pass by the same cliques every day not bothering to say anything. School was busy as usual. The weather was a nice winter day, it was cold, but it wasn’t as cold as it should be. The sun was out too; maybe it meant that today would be a good day.

I reached my locker in peace when I hear my name being called by none other than my best friend. Ashley Jones is my best friend. She’s captain of the cheerleading squad, and the most popular girl at Helming High. One thing I know is that I couldn’t live in a world without Ashley Jones.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked as she skipped to my locker.

“Nothing, what about you?” I asked as I looked up at her.

“Just wondering if you were going to the Winter Ball next weekend?”

“What makes you think I would go?” I asked as I closed my locker.

“Well, why not?” she pouted as we walked to class.

“It’s for a bunch of people who think they can dance, but really they can’t,” I said as she stopped and I turned to her. “What?”

“Come on, it will be fun, I’ll be there, and the whole school”

“Yeah, and their pathetic dance moves” I said as we burst out laughing as she took my arm and led me to class.

“Good morning class today is a new day!” Mr. Peekard said just as he did every day.

“Pst.” I turned my head to face Ashley. “What if I find you a date for the Winter Ball?” she whispered. “Will you go then?” she sounded desperate.

“No Ash, and that’s final” I whispered back.

“Veronica, do you have something to say?” my head snapped up.

“No sir” I replied as I went back to my book.

~~~~

“I heard that sweet, hot, Ashley Jones is going to the Winter Ball,” I whispered to Shane, my best friend.

“Yeah, so? It’s not like you’re really going to go that thing, are you? Austin?” he asked as I stared across the room at, not Ashley, but at Veronica. She was the one I was really after, not Ashley.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled as Mr. Peekard came over to our side of the class.

“Studying hard for the test you’re going to be having in ten minutes, I hope,” he said as he walked by. I just looked up at him and smiled. As soon as he was out of earshot, I whispered to Shane.

“We have a test?”

“Yeah, I thought you knew” he whispered back.

“Ok, clear you’re desks everyone, the test is about to begin” Mr. Peekard announced as I freaked out a little.

********

“Thanks for that” I said as I sat down at lunch.

“No problem” Ashley said as she ate her fries. “So, I was thinking, since you don’t want to go to the dance”

“Oh, no, here we go, some crazy master plan of yours?” I said as she rolled her eyes.

“I was going to say, we should just have a girls weekend,” she said happily.

“Right” I said as I ate.

“Oh come on, my parents are away for the weekend”

“Again?” I asked in disbelieve. “Ash that’s the third time this month” I told her.

“I know, but I’m not worried. They’ve done this so many times, I’m used to it,” she said as I rolled my eyes.

“Have you ever thought they just don’t like you?” I asked as she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I’ve thought about that, but I’m mature now, I’m seventeen, I can take care of myself” she said, not sounding so convincing.

“Right, keep telling yourself that”

“Thank Ron, I’ll keep that in mind”

“Hey ladies” two of the head football players came up to us, Austin and Shane.

“What do you want?” Ash asked. I just looked at them.

“Are you guys by any chance going to the Winter Ball?” Austin asked as he stuffed his hands in his pocket.

“No” Ashley said flatly.

“And if we were, we wouldn’t be caught dead with you two” I added as they backed away.

“Fine, whatever, be that way, but you know you want me” he yelled as he waked away.

“Yeah” Shane yelled.

“Clearly” I yelled back as I just gave Ash a look of annoyance.

“Boys” we both muttered.

“What about boys?” it was Nick, my other best friend.

“Nothing” I mumbled.

“I have to get to class, I’ll call you later?” Ashley said getting up.

“Yeah” I said as she got up and left, and Nick took her seat. As soon as she was gone Caleb and his crew, entourage, or posy walked by. They were a year younger than me, but acted so much better than everybody else. Maybe it was because they were always quite and kept to them selves, maybe it was because they do drugs, who will ever know, but they were different. Ashley sometimes joked about me being part of that crowd for how I acted sometimes.

“Hey” Nick said waving his hand in my face. “Where did you go?” he asked looking out to where I was staring, but nothing was there now.

“Hey Nick, yeah, sorry, nothing” I said putting my focus to him. Nick and I have known each other since the day he moved in next door when we were four. We’ve been the best of friends ever since.

“So, what’s the latest news?” he asked me.

“I’m supposed to be having a girls weekend with Ashley next weekend,” I said using a tone he knew all to well.

“I’m taking you don’t want to”

“It’s not that, it’s just I want to be alone” I told him.

“I understand, but why don’t you tell Ashley that?” he asked as I shrugged.

“She’d persuade me to go anyways”

“So there wouldn’t be a chance I could ask you to the Winter Ball?”

“Nick!” I said hitting his arm.

“I know, I know, I’m kidding,” he laughed.

“Yeah, you’d better be” I said as I laughed, as his phone went off. “You’re girlfriend?”

“Yeah, her parents just got divorced. She’s taking it pretty hard”

“Yeah, I know how that feels” I said as he looked up at me from his phone.

“I have to go, I’m sorry,” he said as I nodded to him as he stood up.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll see you later” I said as he nodded then ran off. Now I was alone with my thoughts, or not, there two tables away from me was Caleb without his crew. It was odd to see him alone. He was reading a book quietly. I decided then that I would leave his presence makes me uncomfortable. I jet out of school and walked home in the snow.

*****

I ran as fast as I could through the snow to get to my girlfriends house, or her old house. Her parents were selling the house, and buying too different houses.

“Nick” she called as she saw me approaching.

“Hey babe” I said as I hugged her. Lauren is my girlfriend, and I love her, even though she can be quiet crazy sometimes. “Why are you outside, it’s cold out here?’ I asked as I walked her inside he empty house.

“I was waiting for my parents, they’re on their way here. This is the last time I will be in this house,” she said as I pulled her into a hug.

“Well, let me make it memorable” I said as I kissed her until a car horn could be heard from outside.

“They’re here” she whispered.

“Ok” I whispered back as I walked her out to her mom.

“Hey Ms. Pierce” I said

“Hello Nick, I’m sorry this is a short visit today” she said as I nodded.

“That’s ok”

“I’ll call you later, ok?” Lauren kissed me before she got into the car.

“Ok, I’ll be waiting” I said as she slipped into the back seat of her mom’s red Honda. I looked around and waved until she was out of site, then I decked home.

******

“Hey sweetheart, how was your day at school?” mom asked me as I entered the kitchen.

“Same as usual” I stated as I threw my bag on the table.

“Homework?” she asked as she cooked something at the stove.

“Yeah, loads of it. I swear it’s just some evil way to torture kids,” I said as my mom held in a laugh.

“Now Ronnie” she said as she burst out laughing. “I really need to talk to you about something” she said now serious.

“What’s that?” I asked as she sat herself across from me at the table, and I feared the worst.

“How would you feel being at home by yourself for a couple of weeks?”

“A couple of weeks? Where are you going?” I asked shocked.

“Work here isn’t that great, and so they offered to me a business trip” she explained.

“Where are you going?” I asked now.

“Just to New York, not that far” she said it like it was nothing, and that it didn’t matter, but it did!

“When would you leave?”

“Friday” she said this sharply.

“I think you should go then. You’ve been through enough, so go,” I told her. “I know how much work means to you”

“Do you really think so?” she asked, now sounding like a parent. “I don’t know if I could leave you”

“Yes mom, go. I’ll be fine; I’ve learnt to take care of myself. I learnt from the best, remember that,” I said as I smiled. Mom’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, ok, I’m going” mom said as I smiled.

“Good for you mom” I told her, as I began to do my homework.

*****

When you’re parents just leave you to your devices, it gets pretty lonely. I thought as I walked home, and through the front door.

“I’m home” I call out, even though no one can answer me back. I make my way to the kitchen and I drop my stuff off.

‘Hey mom how was your day?’ ‘My day was great, how was your day Ashley?’ ‘Just fabulous mother’ I said as I looked around my empty house, yet another night alone.