I’m Alright In Bed But I’m Better With A Pen

Save your breath this time around
You're too beautiful and it's late

Ever seen someone who’s so beautiful it takes your breath away, and they seem to be interested in you. I’ve been there. And it isn’t all that great.

There's nothing left to say

I said all that I meant. I said all that I felt. I’ve said all I can. And that was the biggest mistake in my life. Because when I said those three short but heartfelt words, you looked away from me. And it broke my heart to pieces.

I've wasted all this time on you

Looking back, I know it was a waste of time. Because nothing good came out of it. Nothing.

On you

Not on anybody else. It was all on you. Purely and simply. And at the time, it didn’t mean anything, because I was doing as my heart said. But sometimes you have to let your brain get a word in somewhere.

It's all the same, we all make mistakes
And if you didn't notice, I'm taking this for all its worth

“We all make mistakes.” Those words you see in the movies, in soaps, in fiction. And they’re so clichéd that you laugh. But when they get said in real life it’s different. Because you want to say “Yes, we all make mistakes,” and you want to forgive the person and go back to how it used to be. But deep inside you know that they’ll be saying that again, and again. Because once someone makes a mistake, they’re likely to do it again.

If it's a game, and these are the stakes

You put a lot at stake when you put yourself out there. When you say the hardest three words to say. Because even though they get thrown around and overused, when you mean them, they just won’t come. They sit at the back of your throat, taunting and teasing you, knowing you can’t think of any ways to pull them out.

I know I got the best shot, for taking you out of the race

As I sit here, thinking of all that’s happened tonight. It seems like years since I told you, and you couldn’t look at me. That horrible realization that you weren’t going to say it back, that I had made yet another mistake.

And every time I think of him it makes me sick
And I don't wanna know just what happened then

I don’t want to know why she couldn’t say them back, why she looked away when I said them. Why shouldn’t couldn’t even look at me.

In the van right in front of my house
That's where you sold me out, girl
You didn't have a clue

If she cheated on me I don’t wanna know. Because even though she’s already broken my heart, it would break all the pieces if I found out that she had been cheating.

You sold me out

Its been a week. And I found out that she did cheat. And I was right. It broke all the pieces into smaller pieces.

What'd you think about when you were telling all your friends
about how your lips were pressed against his tightly

“Ever heard of gossip. Or the grapevine? Well, get this… People talk and in the end, people find out when you’ve screwed them over.” If I was brave enough I would say that to her. She replaced me within a week. I guess I didn’t mean that much to her after all.

And I hope you (had your eyes closed)

Some part of me hope that she did, because then it’s entirely possible that she was imagining me. But I know that isn’t what happened. That’s just part of me, trying to deny that I’ve lost her.

And every time I think of him it makes me sick
And I don't wanna know just what happened then
In the van right in front of my house
That's where you sold me out, girl
You didn't have a clue

It’s also entirely possible that she did it in the same house as me, because I was so fucking oblivious to everything. I was in a love sick daze. Drugged up on the feeling of being loved and needed and desired. But it wasn’t like that.

What'd you think about when you sold me out?

I wish I knew what had been running through her mind. Was it guilt? Was it saddness? Was it bitterness? I have no way of knowing.

Every time you go to sleep at night
I wonder what you hide behind closed eyes
What else could you be keeping from me?
What else could you be keeping from me?

Was she ever in love with me? Did she ever feel like she would die if I wasn’t there? Did she ever rely on me to make her smile? Did she ever even like me? Or was I just something to past the time?

And every time you go to sleep at night
I wonder what you hide behind closed eyes
What else could you be keeping from me?
What else could you be keeping from me?

She’s made me feel insecure. She’s made me feel worthless. She’s made me feel Stupid.

And every time I think of him it makes me sick
And I don't wanna know just what happened then
In the van right in front of my house
That's where you sold me out, girl
You didn't have a clue

She didn’t expect me to be so deeply involved, did she? She didn’t expected those three little, meaningful words.

And every time I think of him it makes me sick
And I don't wanna know just what happened then
In the van right in front of my house
That's where you sold me out, girl
You didn't have a clue

“I Love You.”