I’m Alright In Bed But I’m Better With A Pen

Evanlyn Sanders was by no means a good girl. Her short, choppy brown-black hair and snake bites were indications of that, and that was when she hadn’t opened her mouth. Words in her vocabulary when things went wrong were the kind mothers wish their child never to hear. Evanlyn wasn’t one to watch who was around and avoid swearing if young children were there either.

It just so happened that such an incident happened on day. It was a Saturday morning in the middle of December. Christmas was fast approaching and Evanlyn had met up with friends to go shopping.

“I need a present for Frankie,” Mikey said suddenly. Gerard sniggered and Mikey snapped at him, “What?”

Gerard seemed to think about what he was going to reply before he actually spoke, “Two things. First thing: Frankie? What are you? A girl? And secondly, is it a complete coincidence we’re passing a toy store?”

Evanlyn started to giggle and both of them looked at her oddly.

“We’re passing a sex shop too,” she muttered, knowing that Mikey wouldn't be impressed.

Gerard cracked up and started laughing so hard that he had to stop and clutch his sides for several minutes. Mikey and Evanlyn exchanged a look and Mikey shook his head disbelievingly. When Gerard was finally ready to walk on, they kept waling in the direction they had been going in.

“When are you going to introduce me to the elusive Frankie then?” Evanlyn asked Mikey and had to wait whilst Mikey glared at Gerard for giggling.

“I don’t really know,” Mikey murmured and Gerard scoffed.

“Tell the truth, four eyes,” he said pointedly and Evanlyn looked between them several times.

“Fine. I’m meeting him later at Starbucks,” Mikey sighed and Evanlyn smirked.

“What?” Mikey asked frowning.

“Does coffee make you horny, Mikes?” she asked, then darted to the side as Mikey swiped at her.

**Time Elapse**

“Is that him?” Evanlyn asked, for the 5th time in 30 seconds and pointed at a random person who was approaching the coffee shop. Mikey groaned and put his head in his hands.

“He’s short, Sanders, I’ve told you that too many times, you keep pointing at tall people!” he said frustrated. Evanlyn ‘ahhhh’ and pointed at a small child.

“Is that him?”

Mikey took deep breaths, fighting the urge to throw himself on the floor and kick and scream. “That is a 5 year old GIRL!” he nearly yelled but managed to bring the volume down until the last syllable.

Evanlyn pointed at a short figure in a huge coat and asked, “Is THAT him?”

Mikey took his glasses off and cleaned them, put them back on and ignored her completely. Evanlyn sighed and moved to directly in front of Mikey, “I asked you if that,” she turned to point at the figure again, “was him!” she told him and Mikey put a hand on her shoulder.

“That person is old enough TO BE MY GRANPA!” he whispered tensely.

Evanlyn shrugged, “Then I dunno. You’re fucking nasty, you cunt!”

A woman behind Mikey gasped and covered her child’s ears before shepherding them away. Evanlyn giggled and Mikey just rolled his eyes.

“Short, about my age, big eyes, look kinda childish…” Mikey told her then jumped as a voice came from behind him.

“Nice description of me, Lanky Legs. Nice to know what you really think,” they told him and Mikey smirked at them.

“Is that him?” Evanlyn whispered loudly and Mikey looked ready to strangle her.

“YES! That’s why- You know what? NEVER MIND!” he stressed then stormed to the counter. Frank looked at Evanlyn, then smiled.

“You seem to have him pretty worked up,” he said. Evanlyn shrugged, which made Frank’s grin bigger, “I like you already.”

Evanlyn smirked smugly. She liked Frank already too.

**Time Elapse**

“You okay?” Gerard said as he slumped into the sofa beside Evanlyn. She shrugged and opened another beer.

“You starting soon?” she asked and Gerard nodded.

“When Ray gets-” He was cut off by the doorbell. He smiled, “Rays’ here!” he called and a Frank shaped missile rushed past and opened the door.

“TORO!” she heard, followed by a yell and a crash.

Several minutes later, a sheepish looking Frank came in, following beside a disgruntled Ray.

“Little fucker jumped on me!” he old Gerard, who just laughed.

Evanlyn smirked, “MIKEY! FRANK IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH RAY!” she yelled and Mikey came into the room and threw the nearest pillow at her. She swatted it away casually and continued to drink her beer, slurping it loudly to annoy everybody.

“Evanlyn?” Mikey questioned and she looked at him innocently.

“What have I told you about slurping your drink on purpose?” he asked her, his tone that that you use to small children. Evanlyn thought for a moment.

“Not to do it?” she asked slowly and Mikey nodded.

“Yes, SO FUCKING STOP IT!” he told her and left the room.

“Someone’s a little tense…” Frank commented.

Evanlyn took a loud slurp of her beer, “I’ll alert the media.”

When they finally got around to starting the practise, Mikey had calmed down considerably. He walked into the room, looked straight at Evanlyn, who was still slurping only she had moved to water. “Evanlyn, you sound like a two year old,” he said, his tone neutral.

Evanlyn ignored him and instead looked to Frank, “Can I play with your hair?”

He frowned lightly, then shrugged, “Sure.” He sat down beside her on the sofa and Evanlyn smirked. What she wanted, she got… and currently, Frank was at the top of her to-do list.

She set her water on the table in front of them and swung her leg up suddenly, straddling Frank with ease and smiling at his shocked face. She leant in close, running her fingers through his hair gently. He shivered and she moved her hips forward so that their bodies were flush to one another. Tugging on his hair softly, she smirked, hearing a soft moan.

Mikey stood at the door, biting his lip to stop the laughter. He knew that Evanlyn and Frank were a good match and he knew that Evanlyn would adore Frank, so on his part; he had worked things beautifully. He felt oddly proud as Frank reached up and pulled Evanlyn’s face to his own, connecting their lips confidently.

“About fucking time,” he announced and then went to the kitchen to get coffee. Half way through making it, a realization hit him. “FUCK!” he yelled and kicked the cupboards in front of him.

He had just united the two people who constantly irritated him the most easily and did it for fun.
He was fucked.