Paper Chase

"That's why i've been acting weird..."I just finished telling claudia about what happened with brendon and i and she looks as if i've punched her.Her face shows shame and disgust and to me that's the worst thing in the world to see,nothing matters anymore.I getup and take a deep breath "i'm sorry claudia i never wanted to hurt anyone...I never wanted you to be dissapointed in me, i have to go i'm gonna tell audrey now."I push my way through the crowd until i find her,"au-audrey can we talk?" She turns from the group she's been conversing with and nods following me outside into the parking lot.

It takes me no more than a minute to explain everything to her, i don't recall at what point she started to beat on me;but what i did know is i deserved every blow.When she finally stopped to breath and cry she sat back on the cement,"Why aren't you fighting back!" She screeched and i just sigh the taste of iron now in my mouth, "because i don't deserve to fight back. I deserve each punch,each kick you wanna send my way;hell go on and spit on me."She looks at me absolutely horrified."You may havehurt me tori but no one deserves that... And i mean sure it hurts but brendon's only a guy..."

"Yeah but i fucked up and.." She shushes me dabbing her eyes before helping me sit up,"were all gonna get through this... May take some time to gain trust back but we'll survive...." i sigh watching as spencer comes out the door,"I hope so...And again i'm so so sorry..." She bites her lip "thanks can you tell me something though.." I nod watching my date go find the car,"was he good in bed?" I smirk "well not bad but i've seen better on tv..."She giggles hiccuping a bit "i had that feeling..Sorry bout the.." I raise my hand slowly getting to my feet and helping her up,"you don't need to be sorry."

Spencer pulls the car up and audrey scurries back inside,we end up back at spencer's place;me in a pair of his pajama bottoms and a loose t shirt."So why are you all bruised..." I shrug carefully laying myself beside him, i stare at the ceiling and for a while it's silent."Why aren't you taken yet spin, your an amazing guy, cute and funny." He sighs rolling onto his side to face me as i do the same,"Because nobody want's a pudgy boyfriend, they all want the attractive or beautiful guys..."

I smirk "what?" I lean in just a little closer,"that's a lie because i want a pudgy adorable boyfriend."His face goes crimson and even in the dark i can see him smiling.I lean forward the rest of the way and kiss him softly before putting my head on his chest."We can try this but no matter what you gotta stay my friend okay?" I feel him nod as his arm wraps around my waist.Tonight was filled with so much and in my mind i didn't deserve audrey's kindness,she should've kept on beating me.

I hope claudia will some day be proud of me again, maybe when i can do something good with my life...