Harder Then You Know

You said things could only get better

Ever since I'd joined Black Veil Brides a few years back, I've seen this boy in my dreams. He's perfect in everywhere, the picture of an angel. I'd watched him get hurt by guys in the past, yet his still had that soft smile on his lips as he slept.

There's no rush cause we have each other

I, yes I Ashley Purdy had fallen in love with him. Andy was so gorgeous and innocent. He was so young still a kid at 20. I knew that I couldn't spoil him, with my fitly hands. I had to admire from afar. At least until he was a little older and wiser to the world.

Its hard though, to watch the love of your life, from such a distance.

You said this would last forever, But now I doubt if I was your only lover

I laid next to him in the hotel bed we were sharing together tonight. I looked down at my sleeping best friend under the covers curled up. His pale pink lips in that same smile. I wonder who or what he dreamt of. Only wishing it was me.

Are we just lost in time? I wonder if your love's the same. 'Cause I'm not over you

I softly stroked the side of his cheek, wishing I could do this during the day and not under the mask of night. I smiled and relished at the thought of him one day being mine. Even though I knew it could never end well. I'm not good for him.

Baby, don't talk to me. I'm trying to let go

He mumbled something in his sleep. He snuggled up next to me causing my heart to skip a beat as he laid his head against my chest. I knew that he didn't know what he was doing, but I didn't care. I could shut my eyes and pretend.

Pretend he was mine.

Not loving you is harder then you know. 'Cause boy you're driving me so crazy

I'd tried in vain before to accept that we could never be and move on. But no one else held the same thing he held. He had my heart. This fragile boy that laid at my side.

How can i miss you if you never would stay? If you need time i guess I'll go away.

A tear slid down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away, even though the only person here that could see it was asleep. But I didn't want him to see me like this. I had to be strong for him, to be there if he were to ever fall. If I couldn't hold him as my lover, then I would hold him as his protector.

He needed to be shielded from the evils of the word, despite what he might think he knows, he doesn't know a thing about the cruelty of love.

Inside me now there's only heartache and pain. So where's the fire? You've become the rain.

I wouldn't let my baby be spoiled by the world. I'd keep him safe and pure. Even if it wasn't my place to do so. I knew in my heart he needed it.

" Are we just lost in time? I wonder if your love's the same 'cause I'm not over you. " I sung to him softly making sure not to wake him.

I loved him so much, even though it only hurt me.

Baby, don't talk to me I'm trying to let go Not loving you is harder then you know,

"I love you" I whispered to him wrapping my arms around him gently.

And if you don't want me then i guess I'll have to go Not loving you is harder then you know.

He moved a bit in his sleep and his delicate hands wrapped around my waist. I kissed his soft hair and smiled at his touch.

So I'll make the call, and I'll leave today

Not loving you is harder then you know.

"A-Ashley..." he mumbled in his sleep.

I'm gonna miss you 'cause i love you baby Yeah, I'll make the call I'm leaving today

My whole face lite up, so he was dreaming about me. Just for one night that would be enough. To hear my name so ridden with sin, pass through the lips of my angel.

Leaving always drives me crazy

I kissed those soft lips of his gently and smiled.

Not loving you is harder then you know